I’d never slept with a virgin. On our second date, Jim and I escaped from a hot and overcrowded bar and sat on a bench outside. Fueled by a few pints of Guinness and the urge to confess, Jim admitted to being a 30-year-old virgin. He’d never even had a girlfriend. After a long moment of silence, I asked him, trying to sound as non-intimidating as possible, why that was.
Jim didn’t have a concrete reason. He rattled off details about his life. He was Catholic, but didn’t go to church and definitely wasn’t saving himself. He went to an all-boys high school. He lived at home during college and grad school, though he owned an apartment now. He really didn’t know why. The desire was there; the opportunity just hadn’t presented itself. Keep reading »
When a friend introduced me to the author Kate Monro over email, explaining she’d just published a book filled with virginity loss stories, I knew that I would love it, sight unseen. The First Time: True Tales Of Virginity Lost And Found (Including My Own) totally delivered! Monro, who used to work for the band Blur and for Dazed and Confused magazine, began collecting stories on a blog called The Virginity Project. For her first book, Monro collated vignettes from Brits and Americans, from grandpas to high school girls, who all reminisced about their first time with fondness, earnestness and occasional heartbreak. It may have been a long time since any of us has been a virgin, but if the bare humanity on display in The First Time is any indication, we could do well to revisit it.
Kate Monro lives in the UK, so we had to conduct our interview over email — but I’d like to imagine we chatted over cups of Earl Grey and some Tim Tams while staring off into the London fog. Our Q&A, which was edited for length and clarity, begins after the jump. Keep reading »
“[Stolen] is what it felt like. I’m not accusing Levi of date rape or rape at all but I am just looking back with my adult eyes that I have now, and just thinking ‘that was a foolish decision.’ I should have never been underage drinking, and I should have never gotten myself into a situation like that.”
It started when I spotted an ex-boyfriend barreling toward us down the street. My pulse jolted, and I grabbed my current-boyfriend’s elbow and tugged him across the road, darting yellow taxis as we fled.
“Ugh,” I laughed, tossing a surreptitious glance over my shoulder. “I dated him years back.”
“Who?” Jared’s gaze followed mine, though his laugh did not.
“That guy back there. Forget it. He’s no one,” I said, and pressed the incident from my mind as quickly as it arose. After all, this was New York, and the streets were teeming with acquaintances with whom I no longer wanted to engage. Crossing the street was as sure a remedy as I knew to move on. But later that night, after we’d ordered burritos and made stilted small talk, Jared was mired in sourness, and eventually, after much prodding, he admitted the reason for his funk.
“I don’t like the fact that you’ve slept with other guys.” He said, pouting, reminding me of a five-year old stripped of his favorite toy car. Keep reading »
Bristol Palin lost her virginity to Levi Johnston drunk on wine coolers, according to her new memoir. The pro-abstinence advocate first slept with the Playgirl model in a tent while camping at Point MacKenzie in 2006, at age 15 — and she doesn’t remember it. Keep reading »
Wendy Williams, host of GSN’s new show “Love Triangle,” has a huge ass disco ball ring and the opinions to match. For instance, in this segment of “Love It Or Leave It,” the talk show queen declares that saving yourself for marriage is one of the most “impractical” things a woman can do. Why? Watch the video to find out and then tell us whether you agree in the comments!
Egyptians are holding an online protest tomorrow against the military’s use of “virginity tests” on female protestors (i.e. sexual assault). The Egyptian military claims it needs to test women for virginity to make sure they are not prostitutes, which, of course, serves as a deterrent for women to protest in the first place. [Guardian UK]
Psychology Today apologized this weekend for publishing a racist blog post in which evolutionary psychologist Satoshi Kanzawa sought to explain that black women were less attractive than women of other races. [The Atlantic Wire]
I am nearly 20 years old, and I’ve had little experience with the opposite sex. I mean, I’ve hooked up with guys, and I’ve dated a couple of guys for a short period of time, but they ended up breaking it off after about a month. I am quite attractive and have been told so by many people so I have no problem attracting guys to me initially. It’s just keeping them interested that’s the problem. Because of this I am still a virgin. I really want to do it, but I don’t want to have sex with a guy I’ve only known a month because to me sex is something you do with someone you care about, and who cares about you. I have a lot of ideas of why I can’t keep a relationship. I’m pretty insecure (I was bullied a lot when I was younger, and abandoned by friends). I also don’t play hard to get with guys, and I probably spend too much time with them while I’m dating them. I feel like the guys who come after me, come after me mainly for my looks, and then when they get to know me a bit, they suddenly lose interest. They say that I’m a “great girl,” but they are “too busy.” If I were so great, wouldn’t they make time for me? I’m honestly considering just having sex with a guy within the first few weeks before he decides to dump me so at least I’m not a virgin forever. I think that increasing my confidence and not needing the next guy who comes along might help, but what if it doesn’t? I don’t want to end up alone. — Tired of Being a Virgin
Sorry, but at 26, virginity is a dealbreaker. Read More »
I grew up in a small town. It was in the “heartland”– the middle of the country, yet everyone had twangy Southern accents. The town didn’t have much money or restaurants or people. But we did have churches. Churches in pole-barns, churches whose congregations were made up of only one family, churches in the hills with members who spoke in tongues and fancy churches with stained glass that told you to vote for George Bush.
All through my youth, I probably would have said I was a Christian. It was just the default. My parents did take me to church when I was little, I grabbed from the tin of sugar-cookies and drank dixie cups of watery Kool-Aid, but I had somehow remained a bit feral. Keep reading »
Everyone says your first time should be with someone you love. Well, here’s something “everyone” didn’t tell you: just because you lose it with someone you love doesn’t mean you won’t regret it. I certainly do. While I loved Sam very much, it was not at all the right time. When I look back on it, I don’t have a pleasant memory.
I had a really tumultuous relationship with Sam for about six years on and off at the time, which probably was a red flag to begin with. But I was young and in love, and he was “the one.” The timing with us was always wrong. We’d both be seeing other people, but always gravitated back to each other regardless. We would stay up all night on the phone, bitching to each other about anything and everything.
One night we were talking, and the topic of sex came up. He was curious, I think, if I had slept with someone. I was shocked that Sam would even propose the idea that I would lose it to someone other than him. He was relieved; “Good because I love you, and I want to have that experience with you.” That’s funny because he wasn’t a virgin. He had actually lost it to my ex-best-friend, but that’s a whole other story that we won’t get into now. Read more…Keep reading »