When I tell people that once, when I was in 7th grade Sunday school class, I was shown a video starring Kirk Cameron and his wife Chelsea Noble that illustrated the dangers of sex with laughing carnival workers and evil clowns, they don’t believe me. Well, here it is (presented in three parts, after the jump).
Every time I see Kirk Cameron — especially now, speaking out about how homosexuality is “unnatural” and “detrimental” — I think of my 13-year-old self sitting in a dark classroom, terrified, watching the 1993 Focus on the Family abstinence-only “educational presentation” called “Sex, Lies & … The Truth.” The beginning of the film isn’t subtle: Shots of Kirk and Chelsea talking about delaying sex until marriage are interwoven with warped shots of haggard carnival workers laughing maniacally; close-ups of antiquated games, a cackling clown, and menacing rides; and a frightening-looking roller coaster in motion, camera placed firmly at the front car’s helm. “I think it’s real easy sometimes to look at life like it’s just this great ride or it’s just this awesome game, and you’re out to have as much fun as you can,” Kirk begins. Keep reading »
Sexual assault and the threat of sexual assault are used as a way to control women. Nowhere is that more present, lately, than in Egypt where female protesters have been forced to undergo “virginity tests” administered by soldiers when they are arrested and imprisoned. Yesterday, a Cairo court sided with protester Samira Ibrahim, age 25, who was assaulted with a “virginity test” after she was arrested in Cairo’s Tahrir Square in March, and ordered that the military stop forcing its way into women’s bodies. The court’s ruling claimed, “These acts involve deliberate humiliation and intentional insult to women participating in protests.” Keep reading »
You’re (hopefully) already a fan of The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession With Virginity Is Hurting Young Women, by Jessica Valenti, the kickass activist and blogger who co-founded Feministing.com. But did you know her groundbreaking book has been made into a documentary, now available on DVD? “The Purity Myth” documentary is narrated by Valenti herself and walks us through the cultural resurgence in “purity” that has every female celeb bragging she will be a virgin on her wedding night. Keep reading »
If the world’s most awkward kiss wasn’t enough to garner your interest in TLC’s “The Virgin Diaries,” how about three virgin roommates pushing 30? Actually, two virgins and one “reclaimed virgin.” Tamara, 29, has had sex with all seven of her previous boyfriends, though has abstained from sex in the last couple of years. I believe that’s called celibacy, but whatever floats your boat, honey. Tamara didn’t give a clear reason for her abstinence, though did say, “I actually feel like such a different person than I was even from the last time that I did have sex with someone, so I almost feel like it will be like I never had sex before.” Her roommate, Lisa, commented, “I don’t think it works quite like that.”
Now, I don’t personally get it, but if you decide you want to hold on to your virginity until marriage, go for it. Knock yourself out. But I really cannot get behind these folks who literally won’t even kiss anyone until marriage. If you’re not going to bone someone before you tie the knot, kissing them at least gives you a tiny sense of their erotic capabilities. That’s why I fear for this couple, shown in the preview for a new series on TLC called “The Virgin Diaries.” If their first kiss (ever!) is a sign of what’s to come — a big ol’ sloppy mess! — I hope they know a good dry cleaner and an even better lawyer. [Buzzfeed]
The Justin Bieber paternity lawsuit scandal was one of those things I didn’t actually care about, but I knew all the sordid details because I work at The Frisky. So I’ve had time to develop somewhat strong opinions on the Biebs and his allegedly roving peen. From the get-go, I felt convinced that the alleged baby mama Mariah Yeater, age 20, who dismissed the lawsuit last week, made the whole thing up. How did I come to this conclusion? First of all, she claimed her ex-boyfriend was the father of the baby just last year and call me crazy, but her former lover seems like the more plausible impregnator in this scenario. Second of all, Mariah claimed that Justin lost his virginity to her in a bathroom at L.A.’s Staples Center after a concert. Yes, he is a 17-year-old boy, a demographic generally devoid of any seduction tactics whatsoever. But even losing his V-card in a toilet stall seemed too … crass? … to be believable. Keep reading »
I’d never slept with a virgin. On our second date, Jim and I escaped from a hot and overcrowded bar and sat on a bench outside. Fueled by a few pints of Guinness and the urge to confess, Jim admitted to being a 30-year-old virgin. He’d never even had a girlfriend. After a long moment of silence, I asked him, trying to sound as non-intimidating as possible, why that was.
Jim didn’t have a concrete reason. He rattled off details about his life. He was Catholic, but didn’t go to church and definitely wasn’t saving himself. He went to an all-boys high school. He lived at home during college and grad school, though he owned an apartment now. He really didn’t know why. The desire was there; the opportunity just hadn’t presented itself. Keep reading »
When a friend introduced me to the author Kate Monro over email, explaining she’d just published a book filled with virginity loss stories, I knew that I would love it, sight unseen. The First Time: True Tales Of Virginity Lost And Found (Including My Own) totally delivered! Monro, who used to work for the band Blur and for Dazed and Confused magazine, began collecting stories on a blog called The Virginity Project. For her first book, Monro collated vignettes from Brits and Americans, from grandpas to high school girls, who all reminisced about their first time with fondness, earnestness and occasional heartbreak. It may have been a long time since any of us has been a virgin, but if the bare humanity on display in The First Time is any indication, we could do well to revisit it.
Kate Monro lives in the UK, so we had to conduct our interview over email — but I’d like to imagine we chatted over cups of Earl Grey and some Tim Tams while staring off into the London fog. Our Q&A, which was edited for length and clarity, begins after the jump. Keep reading »
was on “Good Morning America” this morning, promoting her memoir, Not Afraid Of Life
, and attempted to clarify that while Levi Johnston
“stole” her virginity
, it wasn’t date rape
. She said:
“[Stolen] is what it felt like. I’m not accusing Levi of date rape or rape at all but I am just looking back with my adult eyes that I have now, and just thinking ‘that was a foolish decision.’ I should have never been underage drinking, and I should have never gotten myself into a situation like that.”
Keep reading »