“We’ve set our guidelines really high, and people will not understand that. They’ll be like, ‘That’s weird. How are you going to show you really love the guy if you’re not having sex with him before marriage?’ But that’s where we purpose in this stage of our relationship to focus on building strong communication because anyone can just go out and have sex. [As] time goes on, maybe at engagement, we’ll talk about hand holding, but we want to save our first kiss for marriage, too…In today’s day and time it’s a little bit strange to be in your early 20s and have not had sex, but it’s how our parents did it. It’s how our grandparents did it. We have a self-respect where we feel confident in who we are, even apart from having a sexual relationship. In a monogamous relationship where it’s just one man and one woman there’s like a zero percent chance of you contracting that type of sexually transmitted disease, but when you’re promiscuous and just go out and live like however — having sex with every guy who comes along — then there’s a huge chance, a probably 80 percent chance you’ll come down with something like that and get something that will really affect you for the rest of your life.”
Jessa Duggar says some whack shit about sex in an interview with Cosmo.com. I think her most disturbing insinuation is that there’s no middle ground between being a virgin and “having sex with every guy who comes along.” For the record, some of us sluts occasionally set our guidelines really high. And when we do choose to have sex (not with every guy who comes along), it’s not because we lack self-respect or are trying to prove our love, it’s because we feel like it. Keep reading »
Maybe you became sexually active a long time ago. Or sex doesn’t really interest you. Or you’ve done a couple sexual activities but are taking it slowly. No matter who you are or where you live, you will have thought about whether or not you are a “virgin” — and what exactly being a “virgin” means.
The 2013 documentary by Therese Shechter (above) called “How To Lose Your Virginity” spans purity balls, school hallways and the porn set of “Barely Legal” to explore our cultural fascination with virginity and the myths that surround it. American society has made it clear that even if we can’t exactly agree on what “virginity” means, we still hold it in reverence, particularly for women. We are, after all, the country that promotes abstinence-only education in far too many classrooms and allows eight-year-old girls to promise their fathers they will remain virgins until marriage. And did you know you could purchase a fake hymen for $30 on the Internet?
Lucky for you, “How To Lose Your Virginity” debuts on Saturday, February 8th at 8 p.m. EST on Fusion (check cable providers here) with other screenings after that. On a recent snowy day, I chatted with Therese over Skype about virginity (obviously), abstinence-only sex education, white panties, and “the magical penis”. Keep reading »
There’s a stigma around virginity, so gay college student Clayton Pettet, 19, is doing his part by having anal sex inside an art gallery in front of a live audience on January 25th. Pettet’s performance art will be called “Art School Stole My Virginity” and will include first-time butt sex with a friend and then a chat with the gallery patrons about what they thought of the performance. All this will then be graded, presumably, for London’s Central Saint Martin’s art school. Methinks he is totally overestimating his ability to have anal sex to completion on the first try; his “once-in-a-lifetime performance” might need a couple tries.
Well, at least they are having safe sex. Carry on. [Queerty] [Image of monkeys via Shutterstock]
There’s a lot that I don’t remember from high school. Algebra. Most of the Italian language. But something my high school health teacher said about premarital sex is still embedded in my mind 10 years on.
She said that on our wedding night, when we have sex with our (future) husband or wife, all the other people we’ve slept with would be sleeping alongside us. She meant it figuratively, of course — she was trying to get us to think about promiscuity through the frame of premarital sex being a bad thing. How crowded, she seemed to be asking, did we want our marital bed mattress to be? Keep reading »
I’m just going to say it: a 10-year-old girl making an abstinence pledge to her dying father on his hospital bed is all kinds of emotionally manipulative.
I thought this YouTube video would be a touching, if extremely sad, occasion for Johnny, a gravely ill father, and his 10-year-old daughter, Nakeol. Gathered by family, they shared an approximation of the little girl’s wedding day that Johnny will not live to see; according to the YouTube description of the video, he is suffering from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Nakeol felt “sad knowing he would never be there to walk her down the aisle when she gets married one day.” So the family arranged a small ceremony at the father’s hospital bed. Sweet, right? Grab the tissues.
But then it got uncomfortable on multiple levels. Nakeol’s father didn’t just give her away; the 10-year-old Nakeol promised her dying father in his hospital bed that she will won’t have sex until marriage. Keep reading »