This week, I got a letter from a lady who has an itch she’s been meaning to get scratched. She just can’t quite seem to reach it.
I have a dilemma and am looking for some advice. I’m 28 years old and still a virgin. It isn’t something that I planned, and I find it a bit embarrassing. I dated the same guy all through college, but at first I just wasn’t ready yet. Even once I personally was ready, I knew that having my first time be with him wasn’t probably the best idea. (We were complicated, angsty, and breaking up/getting back together all the time, and I felt like having sex with him would just complicate things further.) I dated a guy for quite a while after college whom I wanted to sleep with. We had great chemistry, and plus I was really ready by then. He told me he didn’t want to because he “didn’t want to be the jerk who took it from me,” and eventually he cheated on me. It took a little while to recover from that, and I didn’t even date for a while.
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Girls who grew up without fathers at home tend to be early bloomers in the sex department compared with those whose fathers lived with them. Researchers have been trying to figure out the reason for this for years. Is it because there’s no watchful eye looking over them and keeping them in line? Is it a natural response that happens even in the animal world (that when a strange male, i.e., a stepfather or stepbrother, is around, girls grow up more quickly)?
Now, new analysis of data from the American National Longitudinal Survey of Youth offers another suggestion. Jane Mendle of the University of Oregon looked at NLSY surveys, which asked mothers a variety of questions, including whether the father of their children lived with them. The children of these women were asked questions starting at age 14, and, among other things, they were asked whether they’d engaged in sexual intercourse yet. Mendle and her colleagues compared cousins’ ages of first sexual intercourse — some of whom had their father living in their home and others who did not — to see whether early sexual activity could be genetic. Keep reading »
Despite the fact that Stephenie Meyer‘s books are public service announcements for saving yourself ’til marriage, some elementary and middle schools in Australia are banning the Twilight series books for being too racy. Man, I don’t know what Twilight books these peeps were reading, but the one I read was 544 pages of agonizing blue balls. Though, in a roundabout way, fretful grownups could be doing these kids a favor, as one school librarian told Australia’s Daily Telegraph about the censorship, “We wanted to make sure [the students] realize it’s fictitious and ensure they don’t have a wrong grasp on reality.” Good point. In reality, Bella would’ve ripped the clothes off a hottie like Edward and boned that vampire ass, stat. Keep reading »
Most lucky boys get a few hundred bucks and a nice wristwatch for their bar mitzvah presents. But if a Jewish magazine article out of Brandeis University is to be believed, 13-year-old girls are gifting their male Hebrew school classmates with a bar mitzvah blowjob.
In the July 2009 issue of 614 magazine from the Hadassah-Brandeis Institute, Shulamit Reinharz writes:
“…a woman in her seventies began sharing her concern with me about the custom in her granddaughter’s prep school; Jewish girls were giving Jewish boys blowjobs as bar mitzvah presents! Presumably because they’ve already got everything else.”
We have only one thing to say about this: oy gevalt. Keep reading »
An article on Times Online introduces us to the term “Love Shyness,” a rare psychological “condition” (it’s not included in the American DSM-1V — “the clinicians’ bible for psychiatric diagnoses”) that affects only men. Love-shyness is a kind of chronic shyness that makes it nearly impossible for a man “to initiate or to engage in romantic interplay.” That’s not only foreplay we’re talking about — love-shy men have trouble even making eye contact with someone of the opposite sex. They have a hard time carrying on a conversation with women, shake uncontrollably in their presence, and sometimes even sob. Not unsurprisingly, these men are “terminally, heartbrokenly, virginally lonely,” and if their message board on Love-Shy.com is any indicator, they blame women for their sorry state. Keep reading »
I was twenty-nine, single again after a five-year marriage, and a virgin. When I met my now ex-husband Mike, I had just turned 21. We met at small Catholic liberal arts college, and even though I no longer believed in Jesus, the Saints, the Bible, God, really any of that. I was a virgin then, and I was a virgin when we divorced.
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If you’re wondering who thought it was a good idea for Bristol Palin, pregnant at 17, to warn America’s teens not to have sex until they’re married, you’re not alone.
But it’s hard to figure out what, exactly, the well-meaning adults who preach “no sex until marriage” to teenagers are thinking, considering a 2007 study confirmed abstinence-only education does not work.
Jessica Valenti, editor of Feminsting.com and author of The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession With Virginity Is Hurting Young Women, has written a piece for The Nation about how the groups that comprise what Valenti calls “the virginity movement” have finally realized they need new PR.
Unfortunately, the abstinence preachers’ ideas for discouraging teens from having sex still don’t make any sense. Keep reading »
Once would have been more than enough.
A Russian woman, known only as “Natalia K,” allegedly underwent six hymenoplasties to “restore her virginity” for her husband. Keep reading »
In an attempt to combat teen pregnancy in a country with one of the highest rates, Sierra Leone is offering scholarships to girls who remain virgins. In the West African country, 40 percent of women between the ages of 25 and 29 have children by the time they were 18-years-old. To be eligible for the university scholarship, girls 12-16 must be able to prove their virginity through an exam with a nurse. An interesting way to encourage education, but something about “proving” one’s virginity seems off to us. While there’s an element of female empowerment to the new program, it certainly doesn’t take too kindly to men—boys responsible for getting a girl pregnant will be banned from all schools. A local elder, Julius Koroma explains the punishment further, “For those bike riders who impregnates a girl student, their bikes will be confiscated, sold and the expenses go towards the upkeep of the baby.” Bikes for babies? That’s certainly a new social currency. [Yahoo News]
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