Me: I’m sorry! It’s just not going in!
Him: Don’t worry – we can always try later…
Me: I’m really sorry! I’m just so scared! (Sobbing. Tearful search for bra.) What if this never works?
That was me and my now-fiancé during one of many abortive attempts to have sex for the first time.
For years, I viewed sex as something like the Ark of the Covenant in “Indiana Jones”: immensely powerful and great beyond belief, but if you tried to use it in an unrighteous way the wrath of God would melt your face off.
I grew up in a church which, like many churches, taught us that sex before marriage was Wrong with a capital W. To their credit, they also taught us that sex within marriage was brilliant, but still. This was a church where one of the pastors hadn’t even kissed his wife until their wedding day. We also learned that in courting situations (we were discouraged from the secular institution of dating; “courting” was the spiritually safe alternative) girls should also dress modestly because men’s thoughts so easily fall into temptation. Although a heated moment could seduce us into wanting sex ourselves, the message was that boys wanted sex and girls shouldn’t give it to them until the wedding night. A quick scan through my own experience, however – especially late at night – would have revealed that girls could feel the pull of temptation just as much as boys.The nature of that temptation was never really discussed. The few teenagers in the church were too embarrassed to ask about it; I know I was. It also didn’t help that this was a church full of middle-aged and elderly Asian people who did not talk about sex. Keep reading »
While a slew of young women (and one sex doll) are eager to auction off their virginities to the highest bidder, there are others who are holding on to their V-cards for dear life. Some even into their golden years and beyond. We honor them, these chaste few who are (mostly) proud to call themselves the world’s oldest virgins.
Valentina, Brazil’s first life-like sex doll, is being called the world’s finest Real Doll with her “green eyes, fleshy lips, full breasts and a body that inspires envy in all women.”
God, I feel solo jealous right now of this SEX DOLL that I can barely finish writing this. Deep breath.
In conjunction with Valentina’s debut at Sao Paulo’s International Exhibition of Inflatable Dolls, online sex shop Sexônico is taking a cue from women like Catarina Migliorini and is auctioning Valentina’s virginity. The highest bidder will not only get to deflower Valentina, but will also win a prize package that includes a night with her in the Presidential Suite at the Swing Motel in Sao Paulo, a candlelight dinner with French champagne, and an aromatic bath with rose petals. Keep reading »
In her new memoir, Lucky Me: My Life With – And Without – My Mom, Shirley MacLaine’s daughter, Sachi Parker, reveals some shocking information about her famous mom. In the book, there’s an excerpt about how Shirley MacLaine invited her sex therapist friends over to support Parker when she lost her virginity at age 17. According to the Daily Mail:
“Sachi says Phyllis told her mother: ’It would be a fabulous opportunity for Sachi, to have her first introduction to sex with all of us here as a support group. We could talk about it afterwards and validate her feelings.’ As Sachi flushed with embarrassment, she says her mother declared: ‘I think it’s a wonderful idea. We’re all here to help you, sweetheart.’ Once [her] mission was accomplished, we had to face the next hurdle: reporting back. We hid out in the bedroom until we heard a light knock on the door, and Mom’s voice, ‘Is everything OK in there?’”
I feel uncomfortable just reading that. I know Shirley MacLaine is deep into UFO conspiracies and New Age business, so I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that she thought it would be a good idea to throw a hippie party for her daughter’s V-card loss. But it’s still weird. Shirley MacLaine’s team is not commenting on the incident. [Daily Mail UK]
Update: Shirley MacLaine’s responded with the following statement:
“It’s a painful moment for me as a mother and as someone who values the truth. I’m shocked and heartbroken that my daughter would make statements about me that are virtually all fiction. I’ve praised her lovingly and truthfully in my own autobiographies. I’m sorry to see such a dishonest, opportunistic effort from my daughter for whom I’ve only ever wanted the best.”
How was your first time? I’m going to go out on a limb here and guess it was quick/awkward/unmemorable/unfulfilling like it was for most of us. I’m not going to go into too much detail, but I will tell you that, in my case, there was a cat in the bed with us that I had a severe allergic reaction to, which in turn gave my boyfriend a panic attack. So, yeah. It was romantical. Too bad for me — and too bad for all of us, really. A new study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that the circumstances of losing your virginity may set the tone for the rest of your sexual life. Keep reading »
So this is majorly depressing: Petter Kverneng, a teenage boy in Norway, really wanted to have sex with his crush Cathrine, though she wasn’t particularly into it. So she — allegedly — told him she’d have sex with him if he could get one million likes on Facebook. Because there’s nothing the world cares more about than the deflowering of a desperate young be-pimpled child, the Internet has helpfully chimed in with a barrage of support. The board 4chan (don’t go there, seriously), got wind of the offer and ponied up the necessary likes, so now, we suppose, Cathrine is going to have sex with Petter. The tally is currently at 1.2 million and rising. Keep reading »
Inspired by the success of Catarina Migliorini, the Brazilian woman who auctioned off her virginity for nearly a million dollars last October, Rebecca Bernardo hopes to do the same. The 18-year-old high school student posted a video on YouTube last month, offering her purity to the highest bidder. While Migliorini came out of her virginity auction with fame, fortune and modeling contracts, Bernardo has a different motivation for selling her virginity — to raise money for her mother’s medical bills. After her mother suffered a stroke, Bernardo tried selling cosmetics and waiting tables to pay for her care, but that wasn’t cutting it. Her sister died years ago and she never knew her father, so the responsibility falls entirely on her shoulders. Keep reading »
While it never occurred to most of us that we could make bank on our virginity, there are some women who’ve found a way to monetize their purity. Twenty-year-old Brazilian woman Catarina Migliorini auctioned off her V-card this week for $780,000, more money than most of us have made since we lost our virginities (for free). Migliorini sold her virginity for a noble cause. She told the media that she planned to donate as much as 90 percent of the profit to charities that will build homes in the Brazilian state of Santa Catarina.
Well, that’s one way to raise money. Perhaps not the way I would have chosen, but you can’t deny that it’s creative. Still, I always feel a pang of sadness when confronted with the reality that a woman can make the most fast cash by selling her body, however admirable her reasons may be.
In the last couple of years, we’ve heard stories of more than a few women who’ve profited from auctioning off their virginity to the highest bidder — whether it was to fund a college education or just to make a quick buck, or lots of bucks. Click through to see some women who chose to sell it and why. [Huffington Post]
The Kardashian Klan really leaves no personal stone unturned — we know virtually everything about them. The latest? Kim Kardashian divulged to Oprah during an interview on “Oprah’s Next Chapter” that she asked her momager Kris to put her on birth control when she was just 14. It seems Kim had had a boyfriend for a couple years at that point and told her mom, “I think I’m ready” to have sex. So, rather than do what most moms would — freak out, ground her for life, put locks on her bedroom door, etc. — Kris took her to get birth control. (My roommate just exclaimed, “so that’s where she got her ass.”) Onnnnnnnn the one hand, it’s nice that she and Kris had the kind of relationship where they could openly talk about sex and dating with one another. But then again, girl was 14. That seems a little bit young to be so permissive about sex.
Personally, my mother and I never really talked about that stuff — which is probably also not the norm. But what about you? Did you ask your mother (or father) to go on birth control? At what age? [Oprah] Keep reading »
I have to respectfully disagree with Alexandra Gekas’ recent Soapbox excoriating Olympic hurdler Lolo Jones for considering her virginity “a gift I want to give my husband.” Taking Jones to task for how she’s decided to pursue her sexuality strikes me as yet another way to be holier-than-thou, through a feminist lens, almost the opposite of slut-shaming (conservative-shaming? virgin-shaming?). There are a seemingly infinite number of ways women are told we are expressing ourselves, sexually and otherwise, incorrectly. Are we showing too much cleavage? Putting out too soon? Living in sin? It’s like we can’t win, and while I’m not in Jones’ position, I’d like to think anyone who’s been judged for being “slutty” can empathize with being judged in this way. Keep reading »