It’s new release Tuesday and you know what that means, hot stuff. It’s time to take the latest, raddest tuneage for a spin! This week has got some outta-this-world electro clank that’ll have you wanting to go bionic, thanks to Yeasayer, Phantogram, and Massive Attack. Then, on the flip side, we got some lady ballads bustin’ out as the Watson Twins start two-timing Jenny Lewis and Sade makes a comeback. So, let’s get into the groove after the jump.

Behold Gucci‘s painfully awkward video campaign for the spring 2010 collection. This is the type of thing where we get what the company was going for, yet can’t help but wonder how weird the filming must have been. Here we have some models trying to be serious, but instead they look like wax Barbie and Ken dolls. They’re so stiff it’s like a kid butted their heads together and made kissy noises. The background: a beach scene so vivid it could only be a digitally altered image either lifted from a Windows ‘99 screensaver or “Saving Nemo.” Things start getting really creepy with intense still shots from the torso up that make you think the guy has to be getting a blow job off camera, and then whoa—she’s totally masturbating while sitting in his lap! Cut to: our male model, who has suddenly turned into Beatnik Ken in an all-black ensemble because, clearly, this is deep fashion ... we’ll let you take the rest from here. [YouTube]

You know what? I don’t have a valentine! Yes, sniff, it’s terribly sad and terribly true. Why, God, why me? Anyway! That doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the holiday in my own twisted, weird way. Take, for example, this lovely noir homage to the power of love in which two strangers see each other across a city street, and what happens next—well, what does happen next? It’s sort of hard to say, except it happens in a fantastical sort of way. This short film was directed by Arev Manoukian, and you can check out the pretty amazing making of this surreal love story after the jump.

I don’t know. Maybe there’s something in the air? It’s a guys-rolling-around-in-their-underpants videos kind of a week, I think. Yesterday, it was my boyfriend Ruslan. Today, it’s “Twilight” star Kellan Lutz. Frankly, I don’t know about his acting chops, but his ability to look good in his undies is Academy Award-winning. Suffice to say, Kellan is the 21st century’s Mark Wahlberg, but without the Boston accent. According to the man in the manties, Calvin Klein’s X underwear is “straight-up comfortable” and “holds you together.” And what, pray tell, does he mean by that? Since I don’t wear briefs, I could not tell you. It keeps your zucchini with your kiwis? It makes your butt cheeks tight? Who knows! I’ll believe whatever this buthisface tells me. [The Cut]

Your TV isn’t going to get too much of a rest after last night’s Super Bowl. There are some big happenings in boob tubery this week—from the season premiere of “Celebrity Fit Club” to the 17th-to-last episode of “Lost,” to the opening ceremony of the Winter Olympics. After the jump, catch previews, plus a Valentine’s Day marathon perfect for anyone who wants to throw Cupid down the stairs.

So this video surfaced over the weekend just in time for the Super Bowl, and in it a woman named Carmen Ortega is giving a “Cribs”-style tour of Reggie Bush‘s home in California. Carmen, who is a “model” and alleged professional escort, has said the she was the catalyst that broke up him and Kim Kardashian. (Kim and Reg are back together and potentially on the way to getting engaged.) She and her friend behind the camera made this video after having an alleged threesome with Reggie. There are eight things I learned from watching this quick video. Find them out after the jump.

Forget about a sober Monday morning, what’s up with all the sexy models doing wacky things on the internet today? Next up is hot-chick-of-the-moment Abbey Lee Kershaw making a motorcycle blush for fashion mag Pop. Racy! Brace yourselves; it’s gonna be a bumpy ride, heh ... [YouTube]

Go ahead. Just attempt to watch this Google commercial that aired during the Super Bowl and not get choked up. If you can do it, you are made of far stronger mettle than me. It’s super sweet, and it’s a great fit for Valentine’s Day. The only thing is, there’s something slightly creepy about it. I mean, isn’t there? One cannot help but wonder: Am I living my life, or am I Googling myself into the future? I have no idea.

According to British intelligence agencies, terrorists claim that women suicide bombers are undergoing surgery to have bombs put in their breast implants. Rather than hide a bulky bomb under clothing or in a satchel, a body-implanted explosive device would defy any external check. But is it possible to have explosives inserted into a breast implant? Dr. Craig Person, a plastic surgeon in Maryland, says yes. “You could certainly put a liquid of any kind in a saline device, and a gel implant theoretically could be opened and replaced with a different type of gel,” Person says, and such a substance would be difficult to detect with a scanner. How to detonate such a device likely remains problematic for aspiring breast implant terrorists, though. “What we’ve seen is, at least, the al Qaeda explosives competence, while they are visionary with their devices, they’re not terribly competent with actually being able to get something to detonate,” says terrorism expert and CEO of BERG Associates Larry C. Johnson. For now, breast implant terror remains undetonated. [Detroit Free Press]

Maybe you have a case of the Mondays? Not me! Meet my new boyfriend. His name is Ruslan, and he is hot. I don’t know anything about him other than that. Anyway, when I woke up this morning, there he was, in my bed. It was like something out of a dream. And yet it seemed so real. So, he rolled around in his Alexis Mabille underpants while I made this video of him. I thought I’d share it with the rest of you poor, less fortunate souls. Jealous? Yes, yes you are. I’ll tell him you said hello. (Not.) [Fashin]