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Eminem’s New Song Disses Mariah. AGAIN.

Geez, is Eminem still thinking about that time back in freaking 2001 when he “dated” Mariah Carey? Here’s the short version of the story: After this hookup heard round the world, Eminem dedicated his song “Puke” to Mariah in 2005. Nick Cannon, Mariah’s husband, wrote on his website, “I’m going to make you wish you never spoke my name and regret the ungodly things you said about my wife.” Then Mariah shot back in her video for “Obsession” in May, where a faux Eminem in a hoodie stalks her. Now Eminem has taken this feud to a whole new level with “The Warning.” Take a listen above. (Headphones on, as it’s likely NSFW.) Here’s a sampling of the ultra-classy lyrics:

“Mariah, it ever occur to you that I still have pictures? However you prefer to do and goes for you too, Nick, f*ggot/ You think I’m scared of you? You gonna ruin my career you better get one/ Like I’ma sit and fight with you over some slut bitch c**t who made me put up with her psycho ass over 6 months and only spread her legs to let me hit once.”

Gross, Eminem. Gross. How is this beef still going on? All this happened over eight years ago. Is this really the only way these two can generate press? Keep reading »

Is William Shatner Obsessed With Sarah Palin?

Several folks have noted that Sarah Palin‘s words kinda sound like poetry. But William Shatner seems to believe that on a whole ‘nother lever. On Monday night, Shatner did a spoken word performance as only the master of sexy slow talk can do, and on Wednesday’s Conan O’Brien, he recited some of Palin’s tweets, proving he needed no more than 140 words to create a performance masterpiece. Oh, oh. I hope this obsession leads to romance. I would vote Palin for president if William Shatner were her vice president slash lovah. More after the jump… Keep reading »

Sherri Shepherd Loses Her Bikini Wax Virginity

Brave, brave Sheri Shepherd shows us how hilarious a bikini wax can truly be. Not only do you feel her pain, but you feel so wrong for laughing at it. First of all, I’m surprised she was not told in advance, or even worse that she didn’t ask what kind of wax she was getting. It only adds to the tragic situation. I’d say it’s a nice break from the sporadic morning cat fights on “The View.” Cringe, laugh, cry, and enjoy. Keep reading »

Stay Far, Far Away From This Yoga Farm!

This is, by far, one of the creepiest videos I have ever seen. There are so many weird things about it, I don’t even know where to start. But I’d like to say that the guy’s jeans are so tight I’m surprised he can do yoga at all, let alone put his head between his legs and turn into a chicken. Also, is it just me or is there something vaguely perverted about this whole thing? Keep reading »

Yes, There Is Now A Snuggie For Dogs

I mean, it was only a matter of time. Amelia spotted this “Snuggie For Dogs,” and the best thing about the infomercial (after the jump, as the video auto plays) is not only the prize-winning script, but also the fact that it is REAL. The sales pitch is so similar to the human Snuggie ad copy that it’s scary. Just like the argument that your hands will freeze and fall off lest you take them out of your boring old sleeveless blanket to reach for the remote, your dog needs a Snuggie because, let’s face it, he “needs to go out, but it’s a cold night. A pet sweater could help, but they pull and they’re tight!” So true, so true. Then again, we might just buy one for the free gift with purchase: a dog tag that “speaks” for your pet. We’re dreaming of recording ones in the voices that our dogs actually speak in. In our own heads. You guys do that with your pets, right? Right? [Snuggie For Dogs] Keep reading »

MERRIme.com: Episode 3

On the third episode of “MERRIme.com,” Merri begins an online dating “marathon” with Mikey and Rahim. She learns that a fashionable pair of sunglasses may hide her baggage but cannot shield her from a date gone wrong … very wrong. [MERRIme.com] Keep reading »

Models Strip Down For Guitar Hero

Four sexy, naked women and one not-so-sexy man are the stars of this latest viral marketing video for “Guitar Hero 5,” since obviously nothing says rock ‘n’ roll like naked chicks. Although the video is ambiguously titled “Naked Girls Get Interrupted,” the words appearing across the actors’ nether regions point to song titles featured in the video game. [LA Times Blog] Keep reading »

Heidi Klum Has A Case Of “Pregnancy Brain”

Heidi Klum rocked leopard print yesterday on “Late Night,” where she talked about how she’s got “pregnancy brain” (her third baby with husband Seal is due in October) and kinda forgets what’s going on sometimes. Hopefully, she’ll soon forget the part of the show when Conan O’Brien tried to sing a German lullaby for her. Keep reading »

Jude Law In Drag And Other Highlights From The “RAGE” Trailer

There is a new fashion movie coming out on September 24th. It is called “RAGE.” It looks full-on ridiculous. With the aid of many colored backdrops and pseudo-deep statements from interviewees at the scene, a blogger working in a New York fashion house records the events surrounding a murder. Starring the likes of a tranny-fied Jude Law, model Lily Cole (still attempting to act!), Judi Dench being generally awesome, and Steve Buscemi making you feel skeevy, the thing is jam-packed with celebrities you never wanted to see together in one movie. Check out the trailer above and what we loved about it, after the jump… Keep reading »

Hipsters Are Funny

Usually, hipsters are funny when they aren’t exactly trying to be (mullets, legwarmers, unironic ironic mustaches). Sometimes, as this short film called “Hipster Job” (as in the biblical “Job”) proves, they’re funny on purpose (a rent-controlled loft in a former asbestos factory, an American Apparel model “g-fry,” a celestial trust fund from God). “Hipster Job” is a great reminder that people are always more endearing and likable when they’re poking fun at themselves. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go write about my wedding some more. Keep reading »

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