Are you tired of taking relationship advice from haughty, snot-nosed, ultra good-looking men and women with inflated egos? I know I am. If you want to hear the real deal about your most confusing relationship questions, the person to ask is straight-shooting self-proclaimed crack head, Propecia. Oh…she’s got answers all right. And they’re so simple that you won’t have to stress. Want to get over a rough breakup? No self-help necessary…smoke some crack. Want to get your girlfriend in the mood? Foreplay is passé. Propecia says, “Wash your smelly a** and balls!” I can’t wait for her television show. Check out a clip of Propecia in action. [Buzzfeed] Keep reading »
Poor Lindsay Lohan. Girlfriend just can’t catch a break. Her latest stroke of bad luck? Lindsay once posted her phone number on her “secret” Facebook profile (i.e. totes not a secret) and then somebody managed to guess her voicemail password. In fairness, it wasn’t clever — 1234. Anyhoo, so here’s a snippet of LiLo’s recent VM’s. They are rather boring, save for the one where her douche dad calls and holds the phone up to the car stereo as most douchey dads from Long Island are known to do. Listen above. Keep reading »
A few days back, Jennifer Aniston said that she still believes in love. Now that she’s promoting her flick “Love Happens,” she won’t shut up about it. In this interview, Jen seems a little disoriented and we aren’t really surprised because love isn’t exactly Jen’s strong suit. The interview really deteriorates when the actress compares trying too hard in a relationship to selling a car. She then mixes metaphors and talks about going into a “rental” situation and compares a relationship to the structure of a house. The interviewer adds that he’d like an option to buy, presumably if “love happens,” and I start to wonder if I’m watching a home makeover show. Keep reading »
But Tyra’s period show wasn’t all about famous women pushing Tampax up their lady flowers: Tyra invited three doctors on the show to explain why Aunt Flo comes to visit. It’s a ghastly state of affairs for sex ed if grown women are learning why they get their periods on “The Tyra Show.” Still, I learned lotsa stuff about my monthlies thanks to Ty-Ty … like, you can still get laid if you go to bed wearing an adult diaper on your heavy flow nights. Proof of THAT above!
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There’s always at least one crazy (in addition to Tyra) on each
“Precious,” adapted from the novel Push by Sapphire, is a gritty indie film directed by Lee Daniels about an obese and illiterate teen who is pregnant for a second time by her own father. Set in Harlem in 1987, the story follows Precious as she struggles with her insecurities and disastrous home life while using what resources she has to improve her life. Although, “Precious” has an impressive cast, Mo’Nique, Mariah Carey, Lenny Kravitz, Sherri Shepherd, Paula Patton, and Gabourey “Gabby” Sidibe in the starring role, Mariah and Mo’Nique’s performances are already generating Oscar buzz. Mariah strips off the makeup and glitz from her normal life and steps into the role of a social worker. Mo’Nique is terrifying as she plays Mary, Precious’ mother, who is both physically and verbally abusive and delusional. Mary has the power to crush all of Precious’ hopes. Gabby also gives a great performance in her acting debut for someone who auditioned on a whim. If the book is any indication, “Precious” won’t wallow in the bleak details of the main character’s life. Instead it captures an energy that is pushed along by anger and hope. If you need more encouragement to see this film when it opens Nov. 6, consider that it won three awards at the Sundance Film Festival, including the coveted Grand Jury Prize in the U.S. Dramatic Competition, and received a standing ovation at the Cannes Film Festival earlier this year. Keep reading »
I didn’t need a crystal ball to predict that the CW’s updated version of “Melrose Place” was going to be kind of awesome. It seemed like Laura Leighton, aka Sydney, was going to be the major player on the show—she was sprawled out in a chaise lounge in the center of the show’s cast promo pics, which was confusing because any “Melrose” addict knows that she died in a car crash on her wedding day back in the ’90s. Turns out that she only faked her death, with the help of Dr. Michael Mancini, and now has come back to be Melrose Place’s landlord. She was already, of course, sleeping with one of Melrose’s tenants, David—conveniently, Michael’s son. But then, just a few minutes into the episode, Sydney was floating face-down in the infamous Spanish-tiled pool. She’d confessed to David that she’d done something “really, really bad” and no doubt she’ll become this show’s version of Laura Palmer—the season will be about figuring out who killed her. Was it Michael, who wanted to keep her from telling his wife that they’d been boning? Was it David, who was pissed she was also getting it on with his dad? Keep reading »