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Michelle Obama: “Before I Was Who I Am Today, I Was A Nerd”

OK, that’s not a real quote from the First Lady. But it is what Michelle Obama‘s character on “The Simpsons” said when she stopped by Springfield to assure Lisa Simpson that it’s OK to be smart. Damn, why couldn’t she have stopped by our elementary school to defend us from social ostracism? [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

Who We’re Rooting For On “Dancing With The Stars”


Dancing with the Stars” is so cheesy that it often makes me want to scream. What’s up with the lame music picks? And the judges with their paddle scores? And Brooke Burke’s overly Botoxed face asking ridiculous questions backstage? And yet, I watch. Why? Because seeing B- and C-listers dance—often awkwardly—is just blissful. After last night’s premiere episode, I have picked my favorites for the season. And here they are, starting with Pamela Anderson. I was worried about her when she said, “I have no rhythm. And I’m tone deaf.” But she managed to get it together for her performance. “I can only think of sex, sex, and more sex,” Judge Bruno yelled grossly after her performance. “Striperella is back home. Do it to me, girl.” Uh, go take a cold shower, dude.

After the jump, performances from my other faves. Keep reading »

“Pretty Wild,” Pretty Stupid: What Should Alexis Neiers Wear To Court?

This week on “Pretty Wild,” Alexis Neiers is in court for her preliminary hearing for her alleged involvement in the “Bling Ring,” a group of L.A. kids who broke into celebs’ homes and stole their stuff. But why does it not surprise us that Alexis’ biggest concern about her court date is what she is going to wear? Keep reading »

Justin Bieber Wants Barbara Walters

How is it that “cougar” has become such normal terminology, and meanwhile there’s no compact way to describe a younger dude who likes his women on the mature side? Well, whatever that word may be, Justin Bieber sure seems to be one. When he appeared on “The View” yesterday, he was asked, “What kind of girls are you into?” He looked a little thrown off for a second and then replied, “You know I’m into people like … uh … Barbara Walters.” Barbara looked a little shocked. “That may be the loveliest untruth I have ever heard,” she said. Here’s hoping Barbara never interviews him one-on-one. Babs has a way of flirting with her interview subjects, and I can’t imagine how awkward it would be if a 16-year-old were returning her suggestive glances. Keep reading »

Courtney Love Gets Gussied Up For Michael Stipe


Move over Michelle Phan; there’s a new video makeup tutorial guru in town, and no one can compete with her crazy mad skills, emphasis on the crazy. We enjoyed her last one, so we decided to post another she made exclusively for Nylon TV, detailing a look designed for a night of red wine drinking with Michael Stipe. Shew! We always wondered what kind of makeup we’d wear for that event. [Nylon] Keep reading »

“Bootyclipse” Is Booty Shaking Without The Booty

The other day I came across the video art of Dennis Knopf, whose “Bootyclipse” video series takes “booty shaking” videos and removes the booty shaking part. If you’re not familiar with the concept, sometimes amateur booty-shakers set up webcams, videotape themselves shaking their booties for the camera, and then upload said booty shaking video to YouTube. Knopf isolated the few seconds before the woman steps into the frame and starts shaking her booty, looped those seconds, and, voila, “Bootyclipse” was born. This one, “indian booty dance,” is my favorite. The original caption reads: “me bored ass [sic] hell doin a lil dance to Punjabi MC.” [YouTube] Keep reading »

“Bachelor” Jake Makes His “Dancing With The Stars” Debut In A Pink Bow Tie


The 10th season of “Dancing With the Stars” premiered last night with its “most talked-about cast in history,” including “Bachelor” Jake Pavelka, because I guess ABC figures we didn’t get enough of the cheesy piece of milquetoast already. Jake began the season by presenting his dance partner, saucy blonde Chelsie Hightower, with a rose because “that’s how he starts every great relationship” (ooh, Vienna’s gonna be jealous!) and then he danced the Vienna, I mean Viennese Waltz, in a pink bow tie. Oh yes, a pink bow tie. Ladies, you thought the mock turtleneck was bad? I have a feeling we haven’t seen anything yet. Insert obligatory joke here about fastening your seatbelts because this season of “DWTS” is going to be a bumpy ride. (But I guess that joke only works if Jake is still a pilot, and when do you imagine was the last time he actually flew a plane? He’s been too busy passing out roses and perfecting his two-step). [via YouTube] Keep reading »

Drinking Bottled Water Is “Like Smoking While Pregnant”


Just a few short decades ago, the idea that people would pay for bottled water seemed like a joke. Who would buy a product that was already free? Fast forward to now, when Coca-Cola and other major manufacturers of the stuff are laughing all the way to the bank. Today is World Water Day, and it’s a great occasion to watch activist Annie Leonard’s seven-minute film that makes an extremely compelling case for why tap water is just as good, if not better, than the kind that comes wrapped in a pretty plastic package. I’m not interested in buying my water at the convenience store ever again. [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

The Strange Reproductive Story Of The Male Pipefish

The reproductive habits of the male pipefish may not have been on your mind lately, but the topic reaps facts that are more surprising than you might think. What’s a pipefish, you ask? It’s basically a lot like a seahorse, but without the curl. And, remarkably, they’re one of the few species on the planet where the male gets pregnant. Previously, it was thought that seahorses and pipefish were stellar dads. During mating, they take the eggs from the females, fertilize them, and carry the babies to term in their brood pouches. Now, it turns out that the male baby-carriers have a shocking secret: after mating with “less attractive” females, they sometimes abort those theoretically “less attractive” babies. “If the male likes the mom, the kids are treated better,” explains Kimberly Paczolt, the study’s lead researcher at Texas A&M University. But, “If he is not overly fond of the mother,” the male may decide that the eggs are not worth raising, and abort them. He may even “eat” them, by absorbing them into his body. In terms of ideal mates, the male pipefish prefers a larger female. When it comes to pipefish, bigger is better. [Neatorama] Keep reading »

T-Pain Wants To Do Reverse Cowgirl With You

Are you familiar with the term “reverse cowgirl”? If you are not, let me explain. It’s not a woman riding on a horse backwards. It’s a sexual position in which the woman is on top and facing away from the man. You get it? Now, T-Pain has seen fit to give the position a salute in the form of a song, “Reverse Cowgirl.” The video, which is sort of like a slow jam homage to doin’ it that way, features a woman flailing around on the floor with a saddle on her back. It also features T-Pain singing in that horrible Auto-Tune way. The lyrics are, well, they are what they are, aren’t they? “I like how you do it,” he caterwauls, “just put it in reverse cowgirl.” Sounds like he’s asking her to put the car in second gear. Needless to say, I won’t be doing the reverse cowgirl on the dance floor anytime soon. Keep reading »

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