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Help Wanted: Must Love Cheerios And Disney

When times get tough, the job market tends to get a little … er … creative. You know a Craigslist “gigs” ad is going to be sketchy when it starts with these words: “This is an odd request.” Where it goes from there, I could not have predicted in my wildest Disney-fied dreams. Let me give you a hint: This gig involves role play, a bad Disney film from the ’80s, and a love of Cheerios. Yep. That’s right. You guessed it. Someone is hiring for a “Honey I Shrunk The Kids” role-play partner. The perfect candidate would be skilled at playing “normal size” to a “shrunken individual” and have extensive knowledge of the Cheerios scene from “Honey I Shrunk The Kids.” Requirements for the job? A verbose female who is descriptive almost to the point of it being ridiculous, very imaginative, and a lover of Cheerios. Pay? $50 per session via email or IM. Who’s game? It can’t be real, but it’s just too mind-blowingly bizarre to be fake. I bet the resumes are just rolling in. [Craiglist] Keep reading »

Beyonce’s “Why Don’t You Love Me?” Full Video


I told you my opinion of Beyonce’s “Why Don’t You Love Me?” video based on the preview she released over the weekend. And I have to admit I was only half right. She’s definitely scantily clad, but the video is extremely entertaining. The “Why Don’t You Love Me?” video is like candy for the eyes — there’s something to look at everywhere, but the imagery isn’t overloaded. Plus, Bey’s body is perfect for mid-20th century clothing. I also enjoyed her campy-on-purpose acting. Nyom, nyom, nyom, that’s me eating my words. Keep reading »

Yeah, Kristin Davis Thinks The New “SATC” Movie Poster Sucks Too


So, you know how the cast of the “Sex and the City” movie sequel is always Photoshopped to hell and back in the movie posters, especially the most recent one? Well, Kristin Davis doesn’t seem to be a fan either. The New York Post asked her about the poster at last night’s Met Ball — above is what she had to say. [Gawker TV] Keep reading »

Man Marries Cat


Uwe Mitzscherlich, a 39-year-old postman who lives in Germany, has married his cat, whose name is Cecilia and is 15 years old. This is probably the weirdest marriage I’ve heard of since the guy married the pillow. Or the woman married the Eiffel Tower. Apparently, if it exists, people will marry it. According to the BBC, the asthmatic cat is dying, and Mitzscherlich wanted to tie the knot before she kicked the bucket. “Cecilia is such a trusting creature,” Mitzscherlich said, giving me the willies. “We cuddle all the time and she has always slept in my bed.” I really don’t want to hear about their honeymoon night, frankly. [Boing Boing] Keep reading »

Do You Want To See Average-Looking Women In Magazines And Movies?

Elle editor-in-chief Robbie Myers went on “Today” this morning to talk about body types and how curvier models are getting more attention in the fashion industry these days, with more womanly figures walking the runways at Louis Vuitton, Prada, and more. She said, however, that women reading magazines or watching movies don’t want to see bodies like their own in the media; while we don’t want to see anorexic models, we “respond more to women who are a little bit above average. … Seeing someone who looks like [the average woman] doesn’t actually send her out and make her want to go shopping.” We’re gonna guess that Elle won’t be jumping on the plus-size model bandwagon anytime soon. [MSNBC] Keep reading »

Oprah Makes Naomi Campbell’s Ballerina Dreams Come True!


Naomi Campbell, super-temperamental supermodel, was on “Oprah” today explaining her erratic and often, uh, pissy behavior. I must admit I missed the episode, but I did find this awesome clip online, where Oprah rewards Campbell with the privilege of dancing on stage at the Bolshoi Ballet, as well as taking a class with a legendary Bolshoi instructor. On second thought, maybe some time with a rigid, ass-kicking Russian ballet teacher is just what Naomi needs… [Oprah.com] Keep reading »

“Pretty Wild,” Pretty Stupid: Alexis Neiers May Not Go To Jail!

This week on “Pretty Wild,” our girl Alexis Neiers is brought to tears when her lawyer tells her she probably won’t go to jail for her alleged involvement in “the bling ring,” a group of Los Angeles teenagers who police say broke into celebrities’ homes to steal their money and clothes.

The legal eagle informs Alexis and her mom, Andrea Arlington, “If everything is as Alexis says it is, we may be able to make this go away for you.” (Ahh, lawyer-speak!) Alexis cries happy tears — but then her mother randomly starts yelling at her about what an ungrateful kid she is. Hey, I have to admit, it’s thrilling to see Mrs. Arlington at least try to discipline her daughter for once in her life. Keep reading »

Beyonce’s “Why Don’t You Love Me” Video Preview: Why Won’t She Try Something New?

“Why Don’t You Love Me” – Sneak Peek from Beyonce on Vimeo.

Beyonce released a preview for her “Why Don’t You Love Me” video this weekend. The song is a bonus track on I Am … Sasha Fierce (Deluxe Version). It seems Bey enjoyed her Bettie Page look in the “Video Phone” video because she took another nostalgic turn as Rosie the Riveter. But this time Rosie has shed her factory uniform for Daisy Duke shorts, thigh-high stockings, and a midriff-baring shirt — you know, the same sexy garb we’re used to seeing Beyonce wear. From the preview, it looks as if this will be another video full of beauty shots of Beyonce’s heavily made-up face, butt, and boobs. Which is kind of disappointing because I think the concept of Rosie the Riveter as a homemaker doing the male and female chores could have been really entertaining — especially since the cinematography, lighting, and setting are so beautiful — instead of what I expect will be campy soft-core porn and a lot of mesmerizing gyration. Keep reading »

Barack Obama, Comedian-In-Chief At The White House Correspondents Dinner


Sure, he might not have topped last year’s pirate gag, but Barack Obama was pretty darn funny at this weekend’s White House Correspondents Dinner, busting out some real zingers for the White House press corps and other Washington heavyweights like, uh, Jessica Simpson, Kim Kardashian, and Justin Bieber. “I’m glad only person whose ratings fell more than mine last night is here. Good to see you, Jay,” he quipped. “I’m glad I’m speaking first because we’ve all seen what happens to someone who takes the time slot after Leno’s.” He also got in some good knocks on others. After pointing to the Jonas Brothers in the crowd, he said, “Speaking of tween heartthrobs, Scott Brown is here. You should be aware that Scott is not the only one with a salacious photo spread going around. Recently, David Axelrod was offered a centerfold. I didn’t know Krispy Kreme had a catalogue.” Ha! Does Conan need an opening act? [Huffington Post] Keep reading »

Little Girl Sings “The Distance,” Inspires Other To Go The Distance

Oh, how I pine for the days when I used to holler along to the music while riding in my car seat. Here, a 5-year-old girl belts it out like a banshee to the tune of Cake’s 1996 track “The Distance.” She’s got some serious singing skills — who knows, one day she could prove to be the next Britney. I like that she screams the song at the top of her lungs while rocking that little hair bow. Girls are awesome. [BuzzFeed] Keep reading »

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