[Update, 5:45p.m.: Damn, the trailer has been removed from the Internet! Trust us, it was good.] God bless Lifetime and their trashy, trashy movies. The trailer for the January 2014 remake of “Flowers In The Attic” is here and it’ll give you the heebies-jeebies in only the way a V.C. Andrews erotica about incestuous teenagers locked in an attic by their sadistic grandmother can. Lucky for us, the icky plot is leveled out with some real stars in the cast: “Mad Men”‘s Kiernan Shipka plays Cathy, the sister who falls in love with her brother, Heather Graham plays their troubled mother, and Ellen Burstyn is their psycho grandmother. This looks intense. You know we’re going to watch. [YouTube]
OH MY GOD, YOU GUYS. I have no idea why this video, which is almost a year old, has just begun making the mass rounds on the internet, but it is NOT TO BE MISSED. It’s 44 seconds of a DOLPHIN IN AN AQUARIUM MASTURBATING WITH A BEHEADED FISH, why would you ever not want to watch that? I can’t look away!!!! (Included: one palate cleanser, after the jump.) [Huffington Post] Keep reading »
Warning: this video is both graphic and ridiculous. Please, watch at your own risk. Nathan Bells’ balls are not in a good place right now. As part of his “punishment” for losing an Xbox match to a friend, the 20-year-old Leeds University student stapled his testicles and let his fellow co-eds film the whole business and broadcast it on the school’s website. Keep reading »
Here is a puppy chewing on stairs, because who doesn’t need to see a puppy chewing on the stairs? Nobody, that’s who. The stairs must taste pretty good because that little guy just won’t quit. My favorite part is when he takes a break and yawns because, well, chewing on things is pretty darn exhausting. [Jezebel]
This week, Lily Allen debuted the video for her new song “Hard Out Here,” to extremely mixed reactions. Some, like our own Rachel, saw her song about pop music’s policing of women’s bodies and double standards about sexuality as a “feminist anthem.” Others are deeply offended by her use of mostly women of color backup dancers, arguing that satire is not an excuse for using their bodies in disrespectful ways. Keep reading »
Hot on the heels of yesterday’s character poster release, we’ve got ahold of the first trailer for “Maleficent.” Angelina Jolie stars in this new-perspective retelling of Disney’s 1959 take on “Sleeping Beauty” based on the classic Brothers Grimm fairy tale, in which the Mistress of All Evil places a slumbering curse on the beautiful Princess Aurora. What do we think? Will 135 minutes of Elle Fanning‘s grating faux-English accent effectively drive us insane?
Leave it to Japan to think up a game show combining blowjobs, porn stars and a timed clock. On ”Orgasm Wars,” a gay male porn stars tries to give a straight male porn star an orgasm “against his will” as he’s cheered on by a group of friends. Here, Sawai, the gentleman on the receiving end of this competitive fellatio is hidden behind a screen for modesty, while the Takuya, the blowjob-giver, bends on his hands and knees and fills the audio track with more slurping sounds than a Johnny Rockets. I watched with bated breath. Does gargling first actually help you give better head? Will Sawai climax in time? (They get 40 minutes.) Will anyone give Takuya some knee pads? And who will host “Orgasm Wars” when it comes to America? [UpRoxx]
“Blue Is The Warmest Color,” a French film starring Lea Seydoux and Adele Exarchopoulos, about teenaged lesbians, won this year’s Palme d’Or at Cannes. But what do actual lesbians think about the sex as depicted onscreen? In this NSFW video (just wear headphones), real lesbians give a “meh” review. “Kind of like an infomercial for a kitchen product,” said one woman. “There were moments that wanted you to barf up your Bolognese,” said another. And: “In lesbian sex there’s a whole lot more crying.” My own BFF saw “Blue Is The Warmest Color” last week and said it was pretty hot but that the “scissoring” was “obviously the idea of some straight guy.” Got it. No scissoring. I will probably stick with the French graphic novel by Julie Maroh, Blue Is A Hot Color, upon which it is based. [YouTube]