Theoretically, winning the lottery should be a wonderful thing. Who wouldn’t want $100 million in their pocket right now? But time and time again it’s been proven that all those millies can ruin even the best-intentioned, most giving, God-loving folk. And also the ones who blow their jackpot on cocaine and prostitutes. And everyone else between. Here are ten incredibly sad, more-tragic-than-Shakespeare stories where people went from gutter to glory to gutter again. Many of them went on to say (if they even survived to tell the tale), “I wish I never would have won.” Which means you there, dear reader, are one lucky sonofabitch for losing the Lottery.
10 Tips For Having Sex After Huge Holiday Meals
1st Holiday With His Folks
10 things not to do at your first holiday dinner with his folks. Read More »
Dan Savage suggests fucking before dinner. And yeah, that’s probably the best policy when it comes to huge holiday meals like Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. But if you can’t make that happen for whatever reason (and there are plenty of reasons, like FAMILY STRESS), you might find yourself in an emotional place where you need to seek solace in the comfort of sex after the biggest meal of your life. If that’s the place you find yourself in, or if holidays just make you horny, there are ways to work around that five-pound food baby in your stomach. Some tips for post-huge dinner sex after the jump. Keep reading »
10 Ways “Fifty Shades Of Grey” Is Ruining The World
No, I have not read the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy and I don’t plan to. Maybe I’ll read it like 50 years from now when I’m nursing-home bound and desperate for some entertainment. But right now, the universe is so saturated with everything Fifty Shades that I refuse. What can I say, I tend to rebel against trends. I’ve been that way since pre-school when all the girls said their favorite color was pink, so, I said mine was purple because I was annoyed by the conformity. But this is not about me. This is about Fifty Shades of Grey and how I suspect it’s ruining the world.
This week, my worst fears were confirmed when a British couple cited “unreasonable differences” over Fifty Shades of Grey as a cause for their divorce. Stated simply: they are divorcing because of a poorly-penned book. I rest my case.
But if you need more evidence, please click through and see how E.L. James’ “Twilight” fan-fiction- turned-BDSM-erotica-novel is destroying lives.
The Things That Comfort Us In Times Of Extreme Stress
Between Hurricane Sandy and the election, I would classify the last two weeks as a time of extreme stress. Nothing I won’t be able to bounce back from, but I’ve had a few sleepless nights and a perma-knot in my stomach. Some of you have voiced your opinions in the comments, wondering how TheFrisky can write about Channing Tatum being the sexiest man alive or whatever, when there are things with so much more gravitas to going on.
I really thought about the answer to that question and I would like to respond. As a blogger here at The Frisky, and in my personal life, my goal every day is to carve out as many little pockets of meaning as I can. That may include tackling the existential crisis that arose when I was trapped in my apartment for days, or more WTF stuff, like that toddler who sucked a used condom on a playground, or the silly stuff, like the things on the Food Network that Winona and I find arousing. Ganache! Keep reading »
The 10 Most Ridiculous “As Seen On TV” Products For Sale At Your Local Drugstore
Post-Hurricane Sandy, I was lucky to have electricity, heat, water and plenty of food. Only issue: Without a car, and no running subways, I was stranded in my outer borough neighborhood for many days. Besides the local yoga studio, the only other place to go was the big drugstore on the corner, which, as you may imagine, was completely ravaged after the storm. The only aisle that was fully stocked was the “as seen on TV” aisle (pictured above). I had never noticed it before. I was like WAIT! OMFG! I can buy these things without having to call an 800 number? I haven’t had a TV for years, I watch on the internet, so this was a revelation to me. Keep reading »
The Worst Things That Can Pop Into Your Head During Sex
My parents raised me with a certain set of values: 1) The sunny side of the street causes headaches, 2) Lateness is rude and disrespectful, 3) No one wants to see photos of another person’s vacation. Not, like, genuinely. Not, like, ever. Society pitched in and taught me a handful of others including the all-important: All men want sex all the time.
I absorbed this message and, under its guidance, I threw myself at my high school friend Bob. I was 17 when this happened and I’d had a crush on Bob for ages. We’d gone to see a movie, and when we were about to say goodbye, I said, “Hey. Bob. What if I kissed you goodnight?”
And Bob said, “Oh. Gosh. Um, I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I think of us as being just, you know, like, friends.”
Now, in fairness to Bob, were you to see a photo of me in 1996, you’d understand his position. You’d be, like, “Wow. Well, I bet that you were pretty on the inside.” Regardless, the rejection was traumatic. Keep reading »
10 Dream Jobs That You Had No Idea Existed
Not that I’m looking for a career change; my job is freaking awesome, and trust me, I know it. But there are some jobs that sound too incredibly amazing to be true.
Can you imagine getting paid (not sure how much) to jump on the bed? That’s what Reuben Reynoso does. He’s a professional mattress jumper at a handmade mattress factory. Rueben’s job is literally to jump on three mattresses a day and compress them so they are just right for human use.
“It’s work … It’s not for everybody. There is a right way and a wrong way to do it … This is not a game … not to me,” he says. Even though Rueben reports that the job is only fun if you don’t have to do it, it sounds like a goddamn blast to me. Sign me up. [SF Gate]
Keep on clicking for some more dream jobs that will inspire jealousy in you. And maybe even make you consider a career change.
The 8 Stages Of Being Trapped In Your Apartment For Days
1. Excitement. You’ve got supplies! You’ve got wine! You’ve got enough kettle corn to last for a year! You’re finally going to watch all five seasons of “Breaking Bad” and people will stop making fun of you for never having seen it. You are pumped and ready to be a shut in for days, weeks if necessary! Bring it on!!
2. Boredom. You’ve seen four episodes of “Breaking Bad” and it occurs to you that you’ve never watched this much TV in one stretch, except for that one time that you had the flu for a week and you watched all six seasons of “Sex and the City” and then called your dad crying, begging for chicken noodle soup. You start to yawn. Like BIG yawns. Endless yawns. You wander from room to room. Bathroom. Water. Wine. Kettle corn. You turn on another episode of “Breaking Bad.” You can’t do it. Keep reading »
5 Moves I Thought I’d Never Try In Bed … And Like
Sexually, I am neither conservative nor incredibly kinky. I like to think of myself as an open-minded chick who will try almost anything once. I don’t know what you all are doing in the bedroom, but I’m going to assume, based on conversations with friends, and the occasional reading of Dan Savage’s column, that I fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum when it comes to sexual experimentation. Even though I’m down to try new things, sometimes, I surprise myself with what sexual territory I’m willing to venture into, given the right circumstances. After the jump, a few things I never expected to try in the bedroom and enjoy. Keep reading »
IKEA Furniture & Other Things You Had No Idea Were Ruining Your Sex Life
If your sex life sucks as of late, it’s probably not your fault. Feel free to blame your rut on your IKEA bedroom set. At least, that’s what BBC personality Laurence Llewelyn-Bowen is suggesting. “How could anyone enjoy having sex in an Ikea bedroom?” he asked. “I find IKEA’s attitude deeply unsexy … For a start, it’s all flat-pack – it’s going to rattle … That’s not what grown-up sex is like. Grown-up sex should be opera, it should be drama, it should be black velvet and silk, and it should be indulgent and opulent, regardless of how much it costs.” Well, at least it’s not anything you did. That must make you feel better. Just get rid of that MALM bed frame you’ve had since college, splurge on something more opulent and let the opera sex begin. Personal responsibility averted. After the jump, some other things that you can blame your lackluster love life on. Yay excuses! Keep reading »
