Draw your weapons ladies and gents: for we are about to revisit the controversial topic of chivalry. A while back, we got into a very heated debate about so-called chivalrous moves that creep us out. While some of the Friskyverse disagreed, most of us felt that having a man walk us to the bathroom (ala Blake Lively and Penn Badgley pre-breakup) was creepy. I would most certainly feel weird about this if it happened. Luckily no man has ever tried that move on me. I know we all come from different backgrounds, have different views on feminism and were taught different dating customs, so we’re bound to disagree about this. But my personal opinion is that when it comes to chivalry, it’s all about confidence. It’s how you execute the chivalrous move rather than what it is. The moments I feel most awkward are when a man does something chivalrous because he thinks he’s supposed to rather than he authentically feels like he wants to.
I went on a recent-ish date where a guy tried to pull out my chair for me at dinner. I almost fell when I went to sit down because he swooped in at the last minute when I was already mid-crouch and I didn’t see him coming. Ugh. It was such an uncomfie scenario. For starters, I don’t need any assistance sitting down. I just don’t. And his uncertainty only made it worse. Either go for it or don’t. Maybe I won’t be a fan of your move, but I’ll appreciate you for committing. And then I’ll say something like, “That was sweet, but no need for you to pull out my chair.” You can’t ever fault a guy for having manners or trying to impress you. You also can’t fault a guy from abstaining from chivalry altogether. That shit is confusing.
Guys, if you are going to incorporate chivalry into your romantic repertoire, there are some moves that are safer than others. After the jump, I’ve compiled a few that don’t creep the ladies at The Frisky out, when executed with confidence and sincerity of course. Feel free to add to the list or completely disagree with me. Let’s keep trying figure this chivalry stuff out. Keep reading »
