This July 4th, celebrate our nation’s birth not just by watching fireworks, but by setting off some of your own. Don’t just eat BBQ, play hide the sausage. OK, these double entendres are played out. We know it. We’ ll just come right out and say it: Whatever your plans may be this holiday, assert your (sexual) Independence by making time for a good ‘ol outdoor romp. The holiday requires it. Just don’t get caught. Unless you’re into that kind of thing. After the jump, our suggestions … Keep reading »
Hello. I am her: The woman with the grossest personal hygiene habits in the world. You wouldn’t know it if you saw me walking down the street. Because I’m dangerous like that. I blend. I look like most of you rational, well-mannered humans: I shower, I smell okay, I do my hair and makeup, I sport the skinny jean. But behind this façade is a dark, disgusting reality, one I’ve chronicled after the jump. Should you make it to the end and wonder, “How did she end up this way?” the answer is, “Who knows?” Don’t torture yourself thinking about it. Just rejoice in this fact: You’re not me. Keep reading »
It’s Murphy’s Law of unexpected sex: If you are wearing the most unfortunate/unflattering/complicated article of clothing, you will be getting laid. If you get all dolled up in your favorite “f**k me” outfit with your wrinkle-proof dress, new La Perla lingerie and freshly shaved legs it’s almost a guarantee that no man will so much as glance at you. But put on your pajamas to go get toilet bowl cleaner at the drug store, and the hottest man you’ve ever seen will invite you over to his place. Why? We don’t know. This is just how spontaneous sex happens. It’s not fair. But life isn’t fair. You have to roll with it. Hike up those PJ pants and pray he doesn’t notice the chocolate stains. After all, you never know when you’ll have the opportunity again. The worst things you can be wearing when the penis of your dreams arises … Keep reading »
The other day, yet another girl I know was telling me why her legs are ugly. Why they’re getting uglier by the minute. And why she definitely can’t wear shorts this summer. I’ve heard women say they can’t show their legs because they work out too much and their legs are too muscular and I’ve heard women say that they can’t show their legs because they never work out and their legs are too soft. It’s kind of amazing how many women don’t want people to see their legs. I’m one of them. Mine are short. It’s my dad’s fault. But it’s gonna be summer soon, and wearing pants is the worst. Here’s why you should uncover and flash some people. With your legs, I mean. Keep reading »
Finding love is never easy– or so it seems when you’re single. As many women will admit, the bar scene isn’t always an ideal place to meet men and flirting with someone at work is sometimes frowned upon.
So if you’re “looking for love in all the wrong places” as the song goes… or just unsure of where to mingle with eligible singles, GalTime’s relationship expert Nikki Leigh has a few suggestions that just might help you get on the right path to meeting the man of your dreams.
According to Leigh, it’s possible to meet someone just about anywhere… whether it’s while shopping at the grocery store or while working out at the gym. Read more …
After a particularly bad breakup, most of us would admit to some crazy behavior. Of course, crazy is in the eye of the beholder … or the receiver. It may start innocently enough with drunken texts, Facebook stalking or obsessing over your need for closure. Unfortunately, every once and a while, a breakup sends even the most level-headed woman into a tailspin.
According to the DSM-IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders), there are nearly 400 diagnosable mental disorders — none of which have anything to do with the sudden onset of insanity after a breakup. Even doctors can get it wrong sometimes. In 1974, the APA removed homosexuality from the DSM as a mental disorder (thank you!), and they’ve added new disorders to the list since, such as Frotteurism (behaviors involving touching and rubbing against a non-consenting person). While a bad breakup probably won’t induce Frotteurism, it can cause seemingly intelligent, beautiful, educated, wonderful women to lose control. For the DSM-V, which comes out next year, I would like to offer up a new disorder for consideration — Post-Breakup Insanity, or PBI. Keep reading »
For the last two weeks we’ve been trying to wrap our heads around the many things we didn’t get about Patricia Krentcil (aka Tanning Mom). In the process, we’ve grown a wee bit fond of her. Amelia and I were talking today, and while we still don’t understand exactly how she achieved her mysterious shade of tan, there are a few things about tanning mom that can understand. For starters, everyone does feel better when they have a tan. You can’t argue with that. More after the jump. Keep reading »
I use Facebook primarily for three reasons: To chat with my family members who live out of state, to share links of animals doing stupid cute things and occasionally, to stalk. I’m not talking about stalking exes, I’m not into that at all. I usually hide or unfriend them within moments of the breakup. I’m no masochist and looking at exes makes you feel like crap. I only engage in fun stalking. The kind that makes me feel good about myself. I like to creep on FB friends that I should probably unfriend. I just can’t because I enjoy following their every virtual move so much. After the jump, the Facebook friends you really should keep just for the hell of it. Keep reading »
May 13 through May 19 marks National Women’s HealthWeek. And although today’s woman has more information than ever about how to live a happy, healthy life, frankly, it can be a little overwhelming to try and keep track of it all. Naturally, too much information makes us feel confused, overwhelmed, and over-saturated.
In fact, it’s easy for any woman to lose sight of her own authentic path and her most — what she requires to lead a satisfying and balanced life. In honor of National Woman’s Health Month, here is a list of what every woman needs to live a happy and well-balanced life. Read more …
Back in 1992, at the age of 13, I went on an exchange program to France and fell madly in love with a boy named Guillaume. Guillaume Boner. (“Boner” pronounced in the French style, Bone-errrr, emphasis on the errr.) I confessed my crush to Jamie Goldfarb, one of my fellow American travelers, while on an underwhelming tour of the Evian factory.
“Jamie,” I whispered. “I have such a crush on Guillaume.”
“Who?” she asked.
“Guillaume,” I repeated. “Guillaume Boner. He’s Josh Steinberg’s exchange student.”
I’d hoped for a little female bonding on the subject, a little “OMG, I know! I want him too, like la beurre on brioche!” Instead, though, Jamie Goldfarb squealed, “Eww! Gross! How can you like someone whose last name is ‘Boner!’ You’re, like, totally disgusting!” Keep reading »