Tag Archives: Top Ten

8 Ways To Tell She’s The One

New Vs. Old Friends
The allure of new friendships over old ones. Read More »
Dump Your Toxic Friend
Life is too short to have friends who suck. Read More »
Friendship Facts
7 things we've learned about friendship since high school. Read More »

Happy National Friendship Day! Let’s make it all about Oprah for a moment, shall we? Oprah says in reference to Gayle (and I’m paraphrasing here), “Nothing’s better than a good friend,” and with the notable exception of a perfectly done French fry, I wholeheartedly agree. There’s really nothing better. If you’re living without, I recommend you fix the situation pronto.

That said, I have no intention of instructing you on how to go about that here; I’m out of practice myself, having slipped into a motley crew of lunatics my freshman year of college and having held on tightly to those lunatics for the better part of 15 years. At this stage, new friends come along only once in a long while. And all I can say in terms of how I find them, is that, well, I don’t really. They find me is how it feels: I’m at a social gathering complaining about my facial hair, when suddenly there’s some new gal beside me who’s like, “My issue has always been my hairy lower back.” So you get to talking and fast-forward five years and she’s the one you call crying about the fact that you’re crying about those Jayonce breakup rumors. So again, I’m not here to tell you how to find her; I’m here to tell you how to assess a new lady friend. How to tell if she’s The One. Or, more specifically a Keeper. Keep reading »

16 Things We Miss About Our Mall Rat Days

Mall Dudes
15 Sad Dudes Waiting For Their Girlfriends At The Mall
These sad dudes are waiting for their girlfriends at the mall. Read More »

When I was 13, I didn’t have the option of purchasing my Units separates on Ebay or getting the new Red Hot Chili Peppers cassette tape on iTunes or finding a way to live stream the latest NC-17 film on my laptop. If I wanted a lava lamp or a new glamour shot or an Orange Julius, I had to convince one of my parents (or one of my friends’ parents) to drop me off at the damn mall for the day. It was an event which required strategic planning and ingenuity. And one that I was concerned that young people today might miss out on. Keep reading »

The 8 Stages Of Eating Chicago-Style Deep Dish Pizza For The First Time

Guy Fieri S'mores Pizza
Is this good or gross? Probably gross. Read More »
Pizzasexual
If you'd rather be with pizza than people, you might be a pizzasexual. Read More »

Stage 1: Skepticism. You sit down at what’s supposedly the best deep dish pizza restaurant in all of Chicago and think to yourself, There’s no way I’ll like this better than New York pizza. I like my crust thin. I like to be able to fold my slice in half and eat it while I text and Instagram and walk the dog. What the hell does Chicago know about pizza that New York doesn’t? And then you sit and wait until your pizza arrives. It takes a good 30 minutes, and you don’t care how friendly the waiter is (FINE, the people in Chicago are nicer), no pizza is worth waiting more than half an hour for. You have other things to do. Like, try Italian beef. What are they doing back there, making the crust a quarter of a millimeter at a time?

Stage 2: Playing it cool. The pizzas arrive, piping hot and smelling better than bacon on New Year’s morning and you have an automatic salivary response. Your stomach churls and lurches, but your face shows none of it. Smell isn’t everything. You are going to reserve your enthusiasm for the first bite.

Stage 3: Loss of decorum. Despite your resolve not to like this bastard form of pizza, you’ve bitten down on a slice of pillowy, saucy, crunchy deep dish cheese with pepperoni, and you’re experiencing a mini-blackout. All of your pleasure centers are responding at once. You are floating through cloud crusts, sailing through a pepperoni sea. You are lulled to sleep on a bed of sauce and tucked into a blanket of mozzarella. And no pain or harm can come to you. Now or ever again. The world is not such a bad place after all as long as deep dish pizza stays in your mouth forever. You don’t care if it’s all over your face. You don’t care if you’ve brought the plate up to your face and you are licking it. You are alone with the pizza. Just you and the pizza for eternity. Keep reading »

20 Things Your Guests Will/Won’t Remember About Your Wedding

Wedding Week 2013
Wedding season is here once again! Read More »
Wedding "Disasters"
worried bride
These things might happen -- but don't worry, you'll survive. Read More »

I’ve never had a wedding. I’ve never planned a wedding. I’ve never even helped plan a wedding. But, as a 30-something, I’ve been attending weddings regularly for the last decade and I think it’s time for me tell about-to-tie-the-knot couples the truth: the things your guests care about (open bar! music!) and the details you’re stressing over (favors! the selected reading at your ceremony!) are completely different. If you were considering making your guests pay for drinks, may I recommend that you skip the embossed matchbooks and focus on what’s important here: ENDLESS CHAMPAGNE. Not that the wedding is for the guests, but just in case you were wondering, here are some things your guests will/won’t remember about your big day: Keep reading »

8 Lies That You’re Allowed To Tell In Bed (in GIFs)

Lies Women Tell
The top 10 lies women tell men. Read More »
Dating Don'ts: In Bed
Never say these things to a man in bed. Read More »
Online Dating Lies
Here's some of the whoppers people use in their profile. Read More »
8 lies you can tell in bed

Despite our best efforts to dispel stigmas when it comes to sex, a new study published in the journal of Sex Roles found that men and women are still lying about their “number” just as much as they were a decade ago. Researchers found that, when hooked up to a lie detector, men reported fewer sexual partners , while women reported more partners. To those findings we say: let’s just stop pretending that we have to be honest in bed ALL THE TIME. Does anyone really need to know anyone’s number? Sure, there are some partners with whom brutal honesty is the way to go, but for the most part, it’s just not all that important how many notches there are on your bed post. All your partner needs to know is that he/she is your favorite notch. Well, at least for the moment, which totally makes it true. Below, some more sex lies that you should feel justified to go right on telling. Keep reading »

The 7 Most Underrated Things About Teenage Girls

Angst Advice
Angsty Celebrity Teens
Ami has advice for these angsty celeb teens. Read More »
How To Talk To Teen Girls
Anyone can be a mentor. Here's how! Read More »
Bad Science Project
Teen girl got expelled for a science project gone wrong. Read More »

A new survey breaks down teenage angst by the numbers. According to the findings, in one year, the average teen girl will have 183 disagreements with her mom, 157 with her father, 257 with her siblings, and 127 with her friends, during which she’ll slam 164 doors. In addition to all the time she’ll spend fighting and slamming doors, she’ll cry a whole lot over boys. About 123 times a year to be precise. That’s a lot of Kleenex wasted on boys, if you ask me.

This survey highlights the worst about teenage girls. And yes, it’s true that they can be overly emotional, ultra dramatic and super combative. HORMONES! But as a former high school teacher at an all-girls school, I know that as irritating as teen girls can be, they also have so many amazing qualities that they don’t get enough appreciation for. My favorite things about these strange and wonderful creatures after the jump. Keep reading »

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