I am not a morning person. Never have been. Ever since elementary school, I’ve been incapable of getting out of bed in a timely manner, let alone having anything resembling hand-eye coordination or a good attitude before, you know, noon. But in recent years, through a seemingly endless series of trials and errors, I’ve discovered… More »
As is well documented on this site and my Instagram “about me” section, I am hopelessly obsessed with goats, especially baby goats and pygmy goats and fainting goats — OK, nevermind, I just love ALL THE GOATS. Why am I so enraptured with these bouncy little creatures? Allow me to explain in the most eloquent,… More »
This past week, my youngest brother came to visit me. His real name is Cuyler, but everyone calls him Bob (for some reason, no one in my family goes by their real name). Bob is 18 now — a solid ten years younger than me — but we’ve always been pretty close, and it was… More »
Not that you actually needed any reasons to be convinced that summer is the best. You already know it. From swimming with friends to working on your tan to French kissing outdoors, here are some GIFs to remind you why summer is the shit. More »
It’s the 4th of July weekend, which means approximately 90 percent of the population will be attending a BBQ in the next few days. We recently got to talking about how our pasts are riddled with epic BBQ fails. Getting drunk and passing out during a particularly heated round of Cranium. Knocking over the buffet… More »
You’d think after a million kazillion years in existence, Mercury, the planet of communication, coordination, thought processes and travel, would figure out how to get moving in the right direction. But alas, it’s started moving backwards in its orbit yet again, which means lots of chaos for us mortals. From now until July 20th, you… More »
It. Is. Finally. Happening. Chad Kroeger and Avril Lavigne — the couple known affectionately as Chavril — are getting married in the south of France today. Over the weekend, some Chavril friends tweeted about wedding festivities, which set off a rumor that the wedding happened on Saturday, which set off a frantic stream of “I… More »
Winona: So Ami, I had this thought while I was making dinner last night. I really want to teach you to cook.
Ami: I would love that.
Winona: Because you hate cooking right?
Ami: I just don’t get it. I’m impatient and hate doing things I’m bad at. More »
“I’m sorry” is totally overrated when it comes to the little spats that arise in long-term relationships. Because you can’t be sorry that you talk loud when you’re drunk or that you like to wake up at 6 a.m. or that you love show tunes. These are things about you that are never going to… More »
My neighbors have an 8-week-old pug puppy that is perhaps the cutest creature who has ever graced this Earth. Right now its head is a bit too big for its body, so as it toddles around the yard it usually tips over, and then just starts chewing on whatever is in the immediate vicinity of… More »
I lived in Los Angeles for seven years and owned a car. There were some really fun things about being a car owner: like blasting Power 106 while cruising down the Pacific Coast Highway with my sunroof open. Only, most of the time, I wasn’t cruising down PCH, I was stuck on the 101, in… More »
Today even the most credible celebrity gossip mags are reporting that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West did, in fact, name their baby girl North. As in North West. I’m sure they chose the name because it seemed like a clever pun, but did they actually think about the geographic region of the country their infant… More »
In the movie “Singles,” -—and this sticks with Ami because she first saw it at the age of 14, so it made a big impression — Janet Livermore (played by Bridget Fonda) gives a monologue about where she thought she’d be by the age of 23. She laments:
“I’m 23. Remember how old 23… More »
When my brother and his girlfriend visited Nashville last week, I couldn’t wait to take them to one of my favorite bars. We ordered some food and drinks, sat down at a table and started chatting, when suddenly the lights dimmed and a man with a microphone told everyone to choose a team name. We… More »
My best friend has a hot, super short haircut. Instead of spending a fortune getting it cut at the hairdresser every month, she gets an expensive haircut every six months and supplements that with $14 “cleanups” at her local barber shop. She’s invited me to join her several times by telling me how “amazing” it… More »
I’ve instinctually known that boys were more immature than girls since Charlie chased me around the playground with his bloody wart carcass in 2nd grade. I cried hysterically, which I guess made me immature too. But it was really gross, and warts are contagious, so I felt justified in my outburst. My traumatizing childhood anecdotes… More »
My brother and his girlfriend are visiting me in Nashville this week, and I’m so excited (and honestly, a little nervous) to host my first real live house guests. I mean, I’ve had friends crash on my couch for a night or two at various apartments, but I’ve never really had people fly to a… More »
Winona was raised pseudo-Catholic and I was raised Jewish, which means we understand the feeling of guilt intimately. Mostly, we feel it all the time about pretty much everything. And we were wondering, what would be able to accomplish in life if we weren’t constantly paddling in an Olympic-sized swimming pool of guilt? Existentially speaking,… More »
When I was 13, I didn’t have the option of purchasing my Units separates on Ebay or getting the new Red Hot Chili Peppers cassette tape on iTunes or finding a way to live stream the latest NC-17 film on my laptop. If I wanted a lava lamp or a new glamour shot or an… More »
Our wish this Father’s Day is that we can make it through an entire 24-hour period without our dads looking at us with that perplexed face they make sometimes. Like when you say, “I need to run to the drugstore because we’re out of lotion.” Then he’ll be like, “But we have four bottles Lubriderm… More »