Dear Any And All Spiders Currently Residing In My Home,
I recently saw one of you crawling along the hallway wall. It was fairly small, and I was feeling generous, so I decided to let it live. Later that afternoon, as I was checking my email and sipping a cup of boiling hot tea, this same spider decided it would be a good time to crawl up my thigh, causing me to spill scalding Earl Grey all over my lap and keyboard.
“THIS WAS NOT THE AGREEMENT!” I yelled at the spider as I knocked it off my leg and smashed it into the tea-stained carpet.
But then I realized that maybe I wasn’t being fair. After all, I had never actually given the spider a copy of the agreement. It’s time we all got on the same page, don’t you think? Here is the standard human/spider cohabitation contract I expect us to abide by: Keep reading »
Overall, blogging is a pretty sweet gig. You can do your job from a coffee shop, you get instant feedback on your writing, and on any given day your work to-do list might include “Write a listicle about therapeutic breakup songs” or “make GIF of Celine Dion’s facial expressions.” Sure, your grandma will never understand what you do for a living, old school writers won’t let you sit at their table in the metaphorical lunch room, and anonymous commenters regularly call you ugly, but for the most part, we love our job and wouldn’t change it for the world.
You know what else we love? Headphones. Facebook shares. Celeb shoutouts. Sweet comments. In true blogger fashion, we thought we’d compile a list of all these random little things that make our internet-obsessed hearts swell with joy. Read on for 27 things that bloggers can’t get enough of… Keep reading »
Are you trying to woo a Pinterest-obsessed lady? Not sure how to approach her? Take a page from her book and use one of these Pinterest-inspired pickup lines! Some are tame, some are downright dirty, but all of them are guaranteed to get her attention… Keep reading »
The sad truth is that body snarking may not ever end. The pressure to look a certain way may just continue to get worse. The eating disorders and thinking disorders that accompany poor body image may keep spiraling out of control. The disconnection and hatred women feel for their bodies may only grow stronger. The dehumanization, objectification, and transmogrification of the female body may continue to flourish. The way we see it, the only way to protect ourselves from this sad truth is to steel ourselves against it. We might not have grown up armed with the right tools to fight the wolf in the cereal bowl or the mean boys on the playground or the airbrushed models in magazines, but we can prepare the next generation of young women to brush these messages off and treat their bodies with kindness and respect.
Below are 10 powerful body affirmations to help young women to stay strong and love their bodies in spite of all the insidious messages to the contrary. Because in crazy, complicated times like these, “Love your body” just doesn’t cut it anymore. Share this list with the young women in your life who might need a dose of body positivity, or use it to remind yourself that all of us, and all of our bodies, deserve better.
Keep reading »
We recently discovered that one of the many things we have in common is a deep love of new age bookstores. Ami actually used to work in one in LA, while Winona has spent countless hours wandering the aisles of Portland’s many alternative book shops, sniffing incense and wondering if she could ever make a living as a palm reader. The funny thing is, as unique as each of these quirky little stores may claim to be, they’re all exactly the same. Tarot readings? Check. Meditation room? Check. Wind chime soundtrack? Check. Light your spell candle and read on for a list of signs you’re in a new age bookstore… Keep reading »
Last week I announced that I was becoming a sports fan for love. I take my commitments very seriously, people. This Sunday, I broke out a bottle of wine (beer’s not really my thing), got the chips and guacamole spread ready and parked my ass on my boyfriend’s couch to watch the Giants and the Cowboys play the first Sunday night NFL game of the season. Like, I actually watched the game and paid attention for the first time ever! No sports blindness! I even took notes and asked so, so many questions so I could understand. What can I say? I was that kid in class who always raised my hand. I like to understand things. Here are some thoughts, feelings and concerns from my very first football game. Keep reading »
Last week, I dropped my boyfriend off at work at 6 a.m. and took a long walk through the city. I watched the sun rise over the river and pondered the meaning of life. I sipped a coffee and brainstormed some story ideas as I smiled at strangers who passed me on the nearly empty streets. When I got home, I felt so simultaneously calm and inspired that I sat down on my bed and meditated for 10 minutes even though I’m not really sure how to meditate (I always think if my spirit doesn’t levitate over my body I’m doing it wrong). “I am so living my best life right now,” I thought between deep breaths. “I’m meditating before work! Dalai Lama status!”
After I finished kinda-meditating, I felt so energized and inspired that I thought, I’m going to write a super inspiring quote on the dry erase board in my office to keep riding this wave of spiritual enlightenment! So I walked out to my car to grab a dry erase marker I’d bought a few days earlier. On my way, I literally stopped to smell a flower. I felt so happy and calm, you guys. And then I went to go back inside to finish off my perfect morning, and the door knob wouldn’t turn. In my calm, spiritually centered haze, I had locked myself out of the house, 10 minutes before work. I was wearing my high school gym shorts, a transparent tank top, and no shoes. “Shit!” I said loud enough to be heard by the impressionable children at the daycare center two houses down. I no longer felt like the Dalai Lama at all. Keep reading »
Today Cameron Diaz turns 41 — happy birthday C-Dawg! We’re not sure how we feel about her being cast as Miss Hanigan in the film remake of “Annie,” but we’ll always love her for her sperm-as-hair-gel turn in “Something About Mary.” To celebrate, we’ve got Cameron’s ten best looks. Take a peek through, and tell us which is your fave!
I am a person who takes my dreams very seriously and last night, I had a super vivid, extremely urgent dream in which I wrote a list of the 14 reasons (exactly 14) why everyone in the world should be cuddling right now. In my dream, this was the most brilliant, revolutionary concept that I’d ever cooked up and writing it was of the utmost importance — LIFE OR DEATH! So much so, that I got out of bed, flung my boyfriend away who was, in fact, cuddling me at the time, and stumbled to my iPhone to write down this idea so that I would remember it today. I stayed up for at least 30 mins, toying with the language. Was it “Why You Should Be Cuddling Right Now” or “Why You Should Be Cuddling Naked Right Now”? No, not naked. The idea was about cuddling in a non-sexual way. Should it be a slideshow? Or do I use GIFs? No GIFs, no slideshow, just a simple list in praise of SNUGS (snuggling). And now here I am, making this dream list a reality. After the jump, the 14 reasons why you should be cuddling RIGHT NOW, naked or not. I hope this changes the world the way I dreamed it would. Keep reading »
I’ve been trying to eat healthier lately, which has made me realize that I’m a terrible snacker. I either don’t snack enough (because yes, snacking is good — it keeps your metabolism steady throughout the day) and am ravenous by dinner time, or I go on all-day snacking rampages that make my calorie-counting apps shake their heads with disappointment. Since Ami is the queen of healthy snacking and has already proven her abilities at giving me important life advice, I thought I’d ask her for some snack tips. Our conversation led me to a few epiphanies (it might be time to give up my super sugary energy bars) and the following list of healthy snack commandments… Keep reading »