I wasn’t always good at negotiating. As a writer, I was usually just delighted to be getting paid anything at all, so if I was told a freelance rate or a starting salary was standard or set in stone, I took it and I liked it, with the kind of deranged enthusiasm that you only have at the beginning — until a few years ago, when I walked into my boss’ office and quit my job. I didn’t have another full time job lined up; I quit so I could freelance full time.
Suddenly, I had to hustle. I was pitching stories sometimes multiple times a week, and negotiating a rate for each and every one. I wasn’t great at it at first—it was scary to ask for more money even when an assignment clearly called for it. But I did, again and again. Soon, I had it down—I was successfully negotiating for a higher rate more often than I wasn’t, I found a steady freelance gig I could count on for steady cash-flow, and by the end of my second year freelancing, I was raking in more than I had ever made when I had a full time job.
Anyway, so just wanted to share all my good fortune. Hope you guys are good, we should totes get together for a drink sometime, byeeeee.
Oh, wait, you wanted some advice for how you can become a better negotiator too? Sure, I’ve got that.
Keep reading »
Since the beginning of this column, we’ve talked about moon signs, power colors, astrological dating tips, and all the things that make each sign awesome, but there’s still one simple question we haven’t covered: Why exactly is astrology so awesome? When people ask us why we love astrology, we give them a myriad of reasons ranging from the superficial to the super-spiritual. We thought it was time to highlight a few of our favorites. Check ‘em out, after the jump, and feel free to add your own in the comments! Keep reading »
It’s Murphy’s Law of unexpected sex: If you are wearing the most unfortunate/unflattering/complicated article of clothing, you will be getting laid. If you get all dolled up in your favorite “f**k me” outfit with your wrinkle-proof dress, new La Perla lingerie and freshly shaved legs it’s almost a guarantee that no man will so much as glance at you. But put on your pajamas to go get toilet bowl cleaner at the drug store, and the hottest man you’ve ever seen will invite you over to his place. Why? We don’t know. This is just how spontaneous sex happens. It’s not fair. But life isn’t fair. You have to roll with it. Hike up those PJ pants and pray he doesn’t notice the chocolate stains. After all, you never know when you’ll have the opportunity again. The worst things you can be wearing when the penis of your dreams arises … Keep reading »
I’ve been in a relationship for a really long time, which means I haven’t technically “dated” since George W. Bush was president. Sometimes I feel a little nostalgic and curious about the dating lifestyle, but the other day, when I asked my boyfriend if it hurt when he fell from heaven, I realized there are a lot of things about dating that can — and should — translate to long-term relationships. Corny pick-up lines, for example. Here are a few more dating habits and rituals to keep in your relationship, no matter how long you’ve been together… Keep reading »
With Father’s Day coming up, we’ve been thinking about father figures. We learned a lot from our biological dads (both good and bad), but there were also other fatherly influences in our lives who provided us with guidance, advice, and helped us understand what it means to be a dad. After the jump, check out the men who have shaped our lives (from brothers to therapists to a certain “Star Trek” captain), and please tell us a bit about your own father figures in the comment section! Keep reading »
Love her or love to hate her, you’ve got to admit that Kim Kardashian has some killer style. The woman knows what looks good on her and sticks to basic colors and form-fitting, sexy looks. Of course, Kim’s early years as a celeb stylist probably help — that and having her own personal shopping closet in the form of the Kardashian’s store Dash. That’s why it was more than easy to pick out 10 of our favorite Kim K. style moments. Check ‘em out and tell us what you think in the comments! Keep reading »
The other day, yet another girl I know was telling me why her legs are ugly. Why they’re getting uglier by the minute. And why she definitely can’t wear shorts this summer. I’ve heard women say they can’t show their legs because they work out too much and their legs are too muscular and I’ve heard women say that they can’t show their legs because they never work out and their legs are too soft. It’s kind of amazing how many women don’t want people to see their legs. I’m one of them. Mine are short. It’s my dad’s fault. But it’s gonna be summer soon, and wearing pants is the worst. Here’s why you should uncover and flash some people. With your legs, I mean. Keep reading »
Relationships: so great when they start out, but if you’re not careful, they can quickly devolve into a maniacal battle of wills with hurt feelings and damaged egos. All couples fight (okay, most all couples fight), but it’s how you fight that can really define whether or not your relationship is going to work. And there are certain things you can say that can transform a minor tiff into a major explosion.
Nobody is immune: Women are equally capable of doing and saying damaging things in a relationship. Which is why I’ve compiled this list of phrases you should try to avoid including in your fight vocabulary. Check it out, and tell us what you think should be added to the list!
Keep reading »
Happy National Best Friends Day! (No, really. It is!) When it comes to major life transitions and decisions about careers, romantic entanglements, sexual dilemmas, health, and possibly marriage or motherhood, who’s got your back, ladies? That’s right, your girlfriends. In our lives we can’t cast the perfect variety pack of girlfriends, as the creators of “Sex and the City” did – nor would we want to, as gradually getting to know each other is the best part of a relationship – though, if we’re lucky, we do have different kinds of friendships we’ve accumulated over the years to suit the very different aspects of our complex lives. There are eight types of friendships I’ve cultivated that have been essential to my growth as a person. Too bad all these ladies don’t live locally (because a posse would be so nice!), so that I could get them together at the Sunday brunch table, but I can keep them on speed dial. Keep reading »
Living in Portland means I get invited to go hiking, like, every other day. I used to accept these invitations and trudge up various mountain trails with feigned enthusiasm. It wasn’t until last week that I finally decided to accept the fact that I spend much of my day-to-day life figuring out how to avoid walking up hills and therefore find no joy in hiking. Letting go of my faux love for this activity was surprisingly liberating, so I asked the rest of the Frisky staff about the random things they’ve stopped pretending to like. Check out our list after the jump, and please add your own in the comments! Keep reading »