My parents raised me with a certain set of values: 1) The sunny side of the street causes headaches, 2) Lateness is rude and disrespectful, 3) No one wants to see photos of another person’s vacation. Not, like, genuinely. Not, like, ever. Society pitched in and taught me a handful of others including the all-important: All men want sex all the time.
I absorbed this message and, under its guidance, I threw myself at my high school friend Bob. I was 17 when this happened and I’d had a crush on Bob for ages. We’d gone to see a movie, and when we were about to say goodbye, I said, “Hey. Bob. What if I kissed you goodnight?”
And Bob said, “Oh. Gosh. Um, I’m not sure that’s a good idea. I think of us as being just, you know, like, friends.”
Now, in fairness to Bob, were you to see a photo of me in 1996, you’d understand his position. You’d be, like, “Wow. Well, I bet that you were pretty on the inside.” Regardless, the rejection was traumatic. Keep reading »
Have you heard the glorious news? Disney has commissioned a pilot from “Boy Meets World” creator Michael Jacobs for a spinoff called “Girl Meets World.” The best part? Rumor has it that Ben Savage and Danielle Fishel (aka Cory and Topanga) will be reuniting to play the main character’s parents. So awesome, right? These new developments got us thinking of other ’90s sitcom sequels and spinoffs we’d like to see. Check out our show proposals, after the jump… Keep reading »
Election tension is boiling over; it seems like everyone from the office blowhard to the person in front of you at the post office is spouting off opinions that make your blood boil. But what happens when the one disagreeing with you shares your bedroom? Here are 10 tips to help you make it through November 6th without resorting to the taser gun…
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Not that I’m looking for a career change; my job is freaking awesome, and trust me, I know it. But there are some jobs that sound too incredibly amazing to be true.
Can you imagine getting paid (not sure how much) to jump on the bed? That’s what Reuben Reynoso does. He’s a professional mattress jumper at a handmade mattress factory. Rueben’s job is literally to jump on three mattresses a day and compress them so they are just right for human use.
“It’s work … It’s not for everybody. There is a right way and a wrong way to do it … This is not a game … not to me,” he says. Even though Rueben reports that the job is only fun if you don’t have to do it, it sounds like a goddamn blast to me. Sign me up. [SF Gate]
Keep on clicking for some more dream jobs that will inspire jealousy in you. And maybe even make you consider a career change.
1. Excitement. You’ve got supplies! You’ve got wine! You’ve got enough kettle corn to last for a year! You’re finally going to watch all five seasons of “Breaking Bad” and people will stop making fun of you for never having seen it. You are pumped and ready to be a shut in for days, weeks if necessary! Bring it on!!
2. Boredom. You’ve seen four episodes of “Breaking Bad” and it occurs to you that you’ve never watched this much TV in one stretch, except for that one time that you had the flu for a week and you watched all six seasons of “Sex and the City” and then called your dad crying, begging for chicken noodle soup. You start to yawn. Like BIG yawns. Endless yawns. You wander from room to room. Bathroom. Water. Wine. Kettle corn. You turn on another episode of “Breaking Bad.” You can’t do it. Keep reading »
As I’ve mentioned before, I used to work at Starbucks. I learned a lot during my time there, made a lot of friends, and spilled a lot of mocha powder. I also said a lot of things that were totally normal in the context of the job, but could easily be misconstrued as dirty talk or snippets from a serious relationship discussion. Let’s take a look at a few of these classic barista quotes out of context, shall we? Keep reading »
It seems like every day another Republican politician is bloviating about the definition of rape as if he, a middle-aged man, is the true authority on the subject. As Tina Fey said so perfectly in her speech at the Center for Reproductive Rights, “If I have to listen to one more grey-faced man with a $2 haircut explain to me what rape is, I’m going to lose my mind.” I mean, we currently live in a culture where a chart is required to keep track of which male politicians claim rape cannot cause pregnancy and which ones believe it is simply part of God’s comprehensive plan to inflict devastating sexual violence on women and populate the earth with the fruits of their rapists’ loins.
Instead of patiently explaining to these men why they have no reason, no right, and no qualifications to mansplain these serious issues to me, I’m going to take a page from their playbook and blindly, confidently, and erroneously explain a few things to them. Because obviously, as a 27-year-old woman, I am an expert on the following things… Keep reading »
Halloween is a crazy holiday. Between the costumes and the candy binges, anything can happen, so it’s good to be prepared for a variety of scenarios. We’ve rounded up a few of the most awkward Halloween moments, from being the only one at work who dressed up to having evidence of your debauchery posted online, along with instructions on how to deal with each one. Get the details, after the jump! Keep reading »
Happy birthday, stunning Scorpios! As the most powerful sign in the zodiac, Scorpios run the world with unmatched dedication, passion, and creative abilities (Astrology 101‘s Katelyn, Friskyscopes writer Kiki T, and The Frisky’s Editor-in-Chief Amelia are all Scorpios). There are a million reasons to love Scorpios, from your unwavering loyalty to the way you never stop seeking the truth. As a Taurus with two Scorpio best friends, I could gush for days, but for now, let’s take a look at 10 ways the rest of us can live our lives a little bit more like a captivating, complex Scorpio… Keep reading »
Sexually, I am neither conservative nor incredibly kinky. I like to think of myself as an open-minded chick who will try almost anything once. I don’t know what you all are doing in the bedroom, but I’m going to assume, based on conversations with friends, and the occasional reading of Dan Savage’s column, that I fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum when it comes to sexual experimentation. Even though I’m down to try new things, sometimes, I surprise myself with what sexual territory I’m willing to venture into, given the right circumstances. After the jump, a few things I never expected to try in the bedroom and enjoy. Keep reading »