I’ve been hitting yoga hard since I got back from Paris, trying rid my system of that stinky camembert, which is still probably having sex and making cheese babies in my digestive tract. And also, because I love yoga and I’ve been practicing on and off for the last 16 years. I basically need it to stay sane. I’ve noticed some changes since I started doing it years ago: all the new forms of yoga that have popped up, how it’s become so popular that they offer it at my gym, the fact that I’ve asked men I’m dating to attend a class with me and they’ve said yes. That never would have happened in 1997. Never! I mean, Lululemon didn’t even exist back then. I had to wear standard workout gear. Imagine that!
I’ll tell you what hasn’t changed about yoga in the last decade and a half: there’s always one annoying person in class who has the power to kill your buzz. For some reason, I feel like their mats always end up next to mine. WHY?
After the jump, I think I’ve identified all annoying types of yoga class goers. If you recognize yourself as one of these people, I’m sorry, but someone needed to tell you. Keep reading »
Russell Brand attended a yoga class with his mom over the weekend, and he wore, well, exactly what you might expect Russell Brand to wear to a yoga class: slouchy white T-shirt, transparent white harem pants tucked into waffle-knit legwarmers, flip-flops, and an eclectic selection of jewelry. As much as I admire him for bringing his signature rockstar Jesus style to the yoga studio, I feel bad for whoever was positioned behind him during downward dog. Those pants are miiiiighty see-through. [Photo: Fame/Flynet]
A week out from Hurricane Sandy, the East Coast has been hit by a new storm — a snowy, slushy Nor’easter. Dear Mayan Prophecy, we get it! We get it! It’s with that in mind that I think all of us over in these here parts (and heck, just about everyone) would benefit frm adding a little yoga into their routines. No, not people yoga — personally, I find people yoga to be insanely boring — but pups doing the famous stretch for which a yoga move was named. So commencing henceforth: an assortment of dogs doing downward dog stretches!
It usually starts with widened eyes and a slight lift of the eyebrows.
As I walk over to greet a new student, they slowly stick out their hand to meet mine. “Hi, I’m Anna. I’m so glad you’re here!”
“Hi,” they say back. “You’re the … teacher?” Keep reading »
Most yoga classes start out with a request to turn off or silence your cellphones, and a tacit understanding that if you do pull out your wireless device during class, you’re going to get some disapproving looks from the teacher and your classmates. As was the case during a lunchtime yoga class at Facebook headquarters, when a female employee started typing on her phone during a half moon pose. The teacher, Alice Van Ness, shot her a stern glance. Two weeks later, Van Ness was fired from her job… Keep reading »
I was late to yoga, and when I walked in, carrying too many things, everyone was already on their mats.
Yoga is still really new for me. It still feels awkward and difficult, and I’m still at the point where I feel really proud of myself for going. Look at you, being all healthy! I think, of myself, as I enter the building. I nod a modest “you’re welcome” to my dysfunctional spine. I am here for you, I think. Because I love you.
So even after arriving late, I was feeling pretty good about everything.
Ten minutes in, though, I noticed, while in some twisted, intimate pose, that there were holes in my pants. Exactly where you don’t want holes. Especially when you’re doing yoga, and the person behind you will see parts of your body that not even your kinkiest boyfriend wanted you to display like that. Oh no. This is bad.
The pants were black. My underwear was white. My only white pair, I think.
I craned my neck. There were three holes … no, five. In a row along the inner seam. Perfect. There’s my vagina. Keep reading »