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With Valentine’s Day coming up, the pressure’s on to set the perfect mood for love–and lovemaking. Obviously that includes a super sensual playlist. We figured you’ve already got your signature sex mix figured out (and if not, there are tons of options online), so we thought we’d whip up a different kind of V-Day music mix: The Worst Sex Playlist Ever, a 2-hour collection of auditory boner-killers. Like, seriously, we dare you to have sex to this playlist. Check it out after the jump, and good luck! Keep reading »
Valentine’s Day is fast approaching. We gather you knew this based on the high volume of Zales commercials. So, here’s the deal. The internet is gonna try to convince you that you will have the most mind-blowing sex of your life of February 14th. It will sell you the dream. It will encourage you to purchase special sex paraphernalia just for the occasion. You don’t need it! Let’s be realistic here. You’ll probably be too tired to fuck after that 16 course meal or passed out by 10 p.m., crashing from a chocolate high. Be forewarned. Here are some sexy products you shouldn’t waste your money on this V-Day.
Giovanna Plowman and Dino Bruscia, a gross-out, viral video power couple, truly are soul mates. And they are disgusting. Fifteen-year-old Giovanna made a video of herself pulling out her own tampon and sucking on it. Full disclosure: I was unable to watch it. My visceral response was too overwhelming — but I did force myself to listen to it. I believe there was vomit involved. This video is so gross that YouTube and its users deemed it too gross for internet and pulled it. That takes a lot. Then, Giovanna tweeted in protest, “what i did was stupid…so what?! i’ll be on ellen, ill get verified, i’m getting money to show up at some parties!!” Would tampon sucking be appropriate for “Ellen?” I can’t even.
But never mind all the haters, Giovanna has one loyal supporter: Dino Bruscia, better known as the guy who made a video of himself eating a poop sundae. For those of you who are not familiar with a poop sundae, it’s a mixture of your own poop, sprinkles and ice cream. Happy ending time: Dino Tweeted, “me and tampin girl are married!” And I’m still single? If he’s serious, he’d better learn how to spell tampon correctly. We wish them bloody, poopy kisses forever and ever. I’ve included their very, very, very NSFW videos after the jump for those strong of stomach. Not me. [Uproxx]
As the proud owners of vaginas for many years now, we were pretty sure we knew all there was to know about the old girls. We were wrong. After the jump, the most jaw-dropping tidbits about your lady bits. Prepare to be shocked and amazed by all the things you didn’t know about vaginas. Keep reading »
Today in “stories that easily could have been about me,” a Belgian woman set out to pick up a friend at a train station 90 miles from her home, and, after typing the address into her GPS device, proceeded to follow the turn-by-turn directions 900 miles in the wrong direction. Sabine Moreau, 67, drove for two full days, sleeping on the side of the road, filling her gas tank twice, and even getting in a minor car accident, but apparently none of this made her question the validity of her route. In fact, Moreau didn’t notice anything was amiss until she got to Croatia. “I was distracted, so I kept driving,” she told El Mundo. “I saw all kinds of traffic signs, first in French, then German and finally in Croatian, but I kept driving because I was distracted. Suddenly I appeared in Zagreb and I realized I wasn’t in Belgium anymore.”
Sabine, I feel you, girl. [Yahoo News]
Asia is kind of notorious for its long-standing monopoly on bizarre “trends,” from bagel heads and tentacle porn to ANIMATRONIC CAT EAR HEADBANDS THAT MOVE WITH YOUR EMOTIONS. Sorry, I am a little stoked on that one (see also: cat cafes). So, as mind-bendingly strange as many of them are (so, so, so strange), I can’t say I’m ever shocked to hear that something new and batshit crazy is going on in Asia. And yet! Young people (I’m 80 years old) in Thailand, Indonesia, and Malaysia are getting into fashion braces. Like, for your teeth. Listen, it physically pains me to admit this, but I, too, wanted braces as a child. What the fuck, former self? I thought they were cool! Metal in your mouth! What isn’t cool about that? Keep reading »
Listen, I love Pinterest, and it gives me a ton of ideas and inspiration, but it also gives me plenty of moments where I’m like, “Really, Pinterest? Really?” From stomach-turning recipes to questionable workout advice to completely unnecessary DIY projects, click on the gallery to check out 20 of the worst Pinterest pins of 2012…
Just when I thought this sleeping bag snowsuit was the World’s Coziest Invention, I come across a picture of this full-body sweater onesie thing. Suddenly my winter wardrobe seems wholly inadequate. And yes, in case you’re wondering, that does appear to be a zip-up penis hole for easier peeing and/or sweater onesie sex, if you’re into that sort of thing. Brilliant! [Neatorama via Obvious Winner]