There are so many things wrong with both of these costumes.
We present to you a vampire receiving oral sex, hence the clever name “Down For The Count,” and the literal interpretation of the “Shit Hitting The Fan.”
I would not—I repeat—would NOT have sex with either of these people on even my most intoxicated, free-love feelin’ night. So tell us, which one triggered your gag reflex the most? Vote above to get in on the action. Keep reading »
Caution: Both of these costumes will scar children for life. But which one is more repulsive to you: the bush flasher or the blow up doll? To prepare you for some of the heinous, inappropriate getups you’ll see on Halloween next week, we present to you our WTF?! Halloween Costume Contest. Keep reading »
Both equally repulsive and offensive Halloween costumes, my initial knee-jerk reaction to both the human ring toss costume and sex costume would be to crotch-kick the person wearing them. Unfortunately, doing so would likely land me behind bars— an ironic twist to my “Orange Is The New Black” costume.
Instead, let’s just vote on which Halloween costume is more WTF?! Keep reading »
Something happens to Halloween when you become an adult.
The holiday is no longer a night known for trick-or-treating, sugar highs and precious children dressed up as fairy tale characters. Instead, doom and dread take over as you retire your “skanky” [insert noun here] costume, and in turn, prepare yourself to be offended by the costumes you’ll encounter outside of the safe bubble you call home.
I won’t lie. Some of the costumes you’ll witness next week, worn by actual adult humans, will be offensive— some even repulsive. To prevent you from instinctually punching/cursing/upchucking when you come in contact with one of them, we’re kicking off the festivities with a WTF?! Costume Battle. Keep reading »
“Barn Door Mom”? [slow clap] Farrah Abraham’s prestigious cover of Girls & Corpses magazine is here. Their web site states, “Due to the overwhelming response to our Volume 7 Winter Farrah Abraham issue, we are now taking pre-sale orders. So, order now, before they sell out. Ships December 1st.” Order now! Order now! Christmas is coming! [Girls & Corpses (NSFW) via ONTD]
What started as a minor fender-bender between an SUV and a motorcycle on a New York City highway turned into chaos after the driver was reportedly surrounded and beaten by a mob of angry motorcyclists. And it was all caught on video by a biker’s helmet cam. Read more on Newser…
Blake Loates popped open a bottle of Vitamin Water recently and found an extremely upsetting message under the cap: “You retard.” The words were especially hurtful as Blake’s younger sister, Fiona, has cerebral palsy and significant cognitive delays. She sent a photo of the cap to her father, who was justifiably outraged and sent off a letter to the Coca-Cola company, which owns Vitamin Water. Here’s an excerpt:
“Fiona has had a tougher time of it. She has had 22 surgeries. She has Cerebral Palsy and still gets fed with a feeding tube. She is cognitively delayed. Fifty years ago they might have called her retarded. But we know better now, don’t we? … Imagine my surprise when I got this photo from my oldest daughter, Blake. You see, the ‘R’ word is considered a swear word in out family. We don’t use it. We don’t tolerate others using it around us. We ARE over-sensitive but you would be too if you had Fiona for a daughter!”
He included a photo of Fiona and the words, “Can you imagine if SHE had opened this bottle???”
Ready for the craziest part of this story? According to Coca-Cola, the phrase “You Retard” wasn’t a prank or a typo. It was printed on the cap on purpose. Keep reading »
We are gathered here today to honor and pay our respects to Frog, the victim of NASA’s recent rocket launch. While Frog’s dramatic mode of passing may have produced an undeniably humorous photo, we realize that getting blasted 40 feet into the air by a rocket is not particularly pleasant for any species, and therefore we must temper our laughter and internet memes with a bit of somber reflection upon Frog’s life.
Born a tadpole near NASA’s Flight Facility in Wallops Island, Virginia, Frog went through an awkward phase as a froglet (didn’t we all?) before finally reaching adulthood. Frog enjoyed leisurely evening swims, catching flies, and was never one to turn down a juicy worm. Frog was also an avid fisherman. Friends of Frog will never forget the largemouth bass incident of 2011 — you might say Frog had a tendency to bite off a little more than he could chew!
Frog was an active member of a local chorus, singing baritone and gaining a certain degree of notoriety around the pond for soulful solo croaks. Sigh. One thing’s for sure: the launch pad pool will be a much quieter place in the days to come. Keep reading »
Three words: Blue. Cheese. Lollipop. OK, let’s all just make a communal “Eeeeeeeewwww!” sound now to get it over with, but after we’re done with that I feel compelled to report that Lollyphile, the company who makes these cheesy candies, claims that they’re actually really good, which apparently came as a surprise to them:
“It started off as a joke. We were all scared to try it. Maria (our model) popped it in her mouth and said, ‘Oh! It’s awesome!’ And we assumed she was lying until she ate the whole thing. And then we apologized for doubting her and tried them out and they were, in fact, awesome, because you know what? Sweetness & sharp cheeses go together- it’s why restaurants drizzle honey on gorgonzola. Anyway. It’s fun, it’s sweet, it’s bizarre, it’s an adventure.”
I’d definitely be more willing to try one of these than, say, a breast milk lollipop (shudder), but I’m still not sure I’m sold. How about you guys? If you’re keen for a lick of sweet, salty cheese, your can get 4 lollipops for $10 on the Lollyphile website.
As if fashion week weren’t problematic enough, what with the parades of drastically thin models and shameful lack of racial diversity, now a plastic surgeon has set up a runway next to the tents at Lincoln Center to stage a show of his “designs,” AKA cosmetic surgery patients, AKA human beings. Yep, the show was called “Faces Of Beauty” and featured 50(!) of the doctor’s former patients strutting the catwalk while photos of their former noses, foreheads, and chins were displayed on monitors behind them. “There are lot of trends out there. One is the clothes you wear. Another is the face and body you wear,” says the surgeon, who I’m not going to name because I don’t want to add to his Google hits. “Just like Ralph Lauren introduces his new line, what I am introducing is aesthetically pleasing plastic surgery.” Just overlook the minor detail that Ralph Lauren’s fabrics of choice are cotton and silk, while this dude’s are cartilage and flesh. Keep reading »