You know, normal crime stuff.
Teenagers are horrible monsters we let survive out of sheer fear and a tiny slice of empathy.
Dude, where’s my car? Oh, there it is, being chased by a swarm of 20,000 bees! Joking aside, this actually happened to someone and that must have been fucking terrifying.
Have you ever found yourself sitting under the fluorescent lights of a fast food restaurant thinking, if only there were a sauna downstairs so I could sweat out this chili…
This creepy and invasive epidemic is sadly still ignored and considered legal in much of America.
People with “genetic sexual attraction” who pursue that attraction through “incredible and mind-blowing” sex are taking things to the next level. That level is called INCEST.
Maybe this is the salad we’ve deserved all along.
Sometimes the story of a crime is so surreal it sounds more like the plot of an arthouse film than an actual violent crime.
But they’re trying to fix it.
I kind of assumed she just rented limos, so maybe this somehow humanizes her?
As messy and horrific as this all sounds, it’s probably going to make for some riveting television.
I mean, he’s basically saying that if we don’t see this movie we’re all racists, right?
But how many more creeps were in this gross army?
Denial is a hell of a drug.
Does “J.K.” stand for “Just Kidding?”
But isn’t it nice to think that crucial evidence from other cases could just be sitting under an old box of comics in someone’s garage?
Trying to get us into jam bands in 2016.
Is it possible to sue a movie trailer for assault?
Next season, on Serial?