When my feminist friends and I began our communal Facebook message thread, we envisioned a no-holds-barred place to discuss careers, gender politics, and the gospel of Beyoncé. But ever since soccer season took the Internet by storm, our only mentions of “Flawless” have concerned abs. In the past week alone, my “progressive” peers and I shared 10 “World Cup Hottie” listicles, 18 winky faces, and too many Netherlands-based puns to count.
As over-the-top as our behavior was, we were never ashamed. There was an implicit empowerment to our objectification, like a hard-earned reward for eons of inequality. Even when I read our conversation (and watched a video of Ronaldo slow-motion jogging) in a very public, very crowded coffee shop, I didn’t bother to turn down my laptop brightness. If anyone saw my screen, I trusted they would be impressed: I wasn’t some creepy guy browsing Google images of Megan Fox — I was a proud woman, flaunting the sex drive to which I was entitled! Keep reading »
This short, simple PSA says so much in just a few seconds. It’s easy to forget that the World Cup often correlates with increased levels of domestic violence (as I’d imagine many major sporting events do). For some people, the games are less about fun and more about living in fear. The PSA is part of Tender Education and Arts’ #StandUpWorldCup campaign, which aims to spread awareness about domestic violence during the World Cup, and to remind fans that a loss (anything else for that matter) is no excuse for hurting someone.
The World Cup should be a carefree time for every fan, but until that day arrives, it’s important to keep sharing ads like this one. If you’re interested in helping, more information about the campaign is available here. Victims shouldn’t have to suffer in the dark while the rest of the world celebrates. [Tender UK]
I may not care about the results of the 2014 FIFA World Cup, but I do care about sex with hot soccer players. (Or, as they are called in most of the world, “football players.”) Fortunately, Quartz has researched a handy-dandy list of all the countries’ team sex policies for the 2014 games. The long and short of it (HA)? There are some pretty weird rules on pre-game boning. Spain and Germany, for instance, ban sex the night before a match. How this is enforced, I don’t know. Russian players aren’t allowed to bring wives or girlfriends, so presumably they are either employing the local sex trade or abstaining. And the French, being French, have all sorts of complicated rules about sex before games but mostly advise you get a good night’s sleep. [Quartz]
You’re breaking my heart! Just weeks after a panda conservation center announced that pandas would predict the results of the 2014 World Cup a la Paul the octopus, today we learn the plan is no more. Three baby pandas reportedly would have predicted the winner based on which country’s flag was tied to food they gravitated towards. But now, the Chengdu Panda Preservation Center in Sichuan province says the publicity stunt has been “halted by the authorities.” Shit. This is the only thing that actually made me care about the World Cup. [South China Morning Post, BBC]
On any typical day, sex toy sales are divided pretty equally between men and women buyers. But not today, my friends… today is different.
With the 2014 FIFA World Cup beginning tomorrow in Brazil, new research conducted by sex toy brand LELO has determined that we can expect men to buy four out of every five sex toys sold globally in the days leading up to kick-off (that’s today, you guys!). The good news? Men are buying these toys for their partners. Cha-ching! Keep reading »
This existed on the Internet for 24 hours before I became aware of it, which means ALL OF YOU are in trouble: a baby panda will be predicting the winner of the 2014 World Cup. With the Cup taking place in Brazil in just one week, a panda conservation center in Chengdu, China, has “invited” a panda cub to use her psychic powers to guess who will emerge victorious. According to the Wall Street Journal, the cub will make a choice by going towards boxes of food marked with different national flags, or perhaps by climbing a tree marked with flags. The young cub will be the unwitting rival of the late Paul The “Psychic” Octopus, who predicted the outcome of many a soccer game before he suddenly died, leaving a publicity stunt-sized hole that needed to be filled. Obviously, by a baby panda. Good luck, little buddy! May your psychic powers not fail you during your moment in the limelight. [Wall Street Journal]
The advertising firm behind the new stadium being built in Qatar for the 2022 World Cup released an animated video revealing their plans and, well, it seems Al Wakrah sports stadium is gonna look like a big ol’ vagina. This has naturally sparked some controversy, but I think critics should simmer down. The new stadium looks pretty to me, potentially even more so because of its resemblance to female genitalia. I like it! Imagine hundreds of thousands of cheering futbol fans within the feminine curves and folds of this steel punany. POWERFUL. Check out a sweet GIF of the stadium, courtesy of Jezebel, after the jump! [Raw Story, Jezebel] Keep reading »
This story took some time to hit the gossip scene, but Leonardo DiCaprio allegedly had a not-so-fun bathroom experience at the World Cup earlier this month. The actor attended a semi-final game in his usual disguise of a baseball cap and sunglasses. Apparently, the accessories didn’t do him much good because he attracted the attention of quite a few fans on his way to the men’s room. The vuvuzelas-toting fanatics followed DiCaprio into the bathroom and surrounded his stall in order to get a peek at little Leo. The number of Peeping Toms got so big that the stall began to collapse, which got Leo screaming for help. Security eventually heard his cries and cleared the crowd before DiCaprio found himself with his pants unzipped in a pile of crazies. [Ask Men]
Do we believe this tale or does it seem a tad far-fetched? And if it’s true, I wonder how Paris Hilton and Bill Clinton’s bathroom trips went? Keep reading »