I hate running with a fiery passion. But thanks to one genius woman who has turned her exercise misery into something inappropriate, I am now inspired to lace up my old sneakers and sprint my little heart out. There’s nothing like hitting the pavement knowing that the calories you’re burning will eventually form a dick pic.
New national treasure, San Francisco’s Claire Wyckoff, has been using satellite-enabled exercise tracking technology from Nike+ to run courses and paths around the city that form penises. We’re talking big ones, small ones, long ones, fat ones, everything. But per her Running Drawing Tumblr page, Claire doesn’t limit herself to just dicks— she also recently drew an extended middle finger and a stripper on a pole, for example. Basically, she’s the new Picasso. Keep reading »
Lululemon, the pricey workout clothing retailer known for saying larger women’s sizes aren’t part of their “formula,” have gone and trumped themselves in the Shaking My Head department by creating a new product that’s a total workout repellent: The “Runsie,” a stylish romper designed for running. Yes, a onesie for exercise. Keep reading »
While many people view their workout music as a deeply personal choice (I’m partial to “Alan Jackson’s Greatest Hits” when I hit the treadmill), there’s a scientific reason that some songs get your blood pumping more than others. In addition to beats per minute (BPM) that match up to a person’s running stride and heart rate, workout jams need to have a steady or subtly escalating tempo, and a truly great workout song will also have lyrics that encourage you to push yourself harder mentally and physically. Spotify brought in a team of London-based sports psychologists to analyze 6.7 million user-created workout playlists, and used their findings to compile what they call the “Ultimate Workout Playlist,” which takes listeners from a warm-up to high intensity to strength training to cool down. Check out the 20 hot pop songs that made the cut, after the jump! (Spoiler alert: your Ke$ha obsession is probably paying off…) Keep reading »
Oh, the gym. I’m lucky enough to live in a building with its own gym (which is mercifully never busy because everyone in my building is already in shape or something). But man, for years I went to one really popular gym in Philly and, dang, I saw some things. Gyms are sweaty, smelly microcosms, with their own hilarious manners (everybody gets a turn on the elliptical, dammit!) and personalities. And it seems that whether you’re talking the fanciest upscale city gym, or smallest local workout center, there are certain people you’ll always find there. After the jump, we run through some of the women we always run into when we’re sweating our butts off. (And if you get a chance, check out GQ’s hilarious list of the Gym Guys You Really Don’t Want To Be, too!)
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My favorite sport has long been surfing the web, preferably on a bed or chaise lounge, but rumor has it that such a sedentary lifestyle might not actually be the best thing for your body. So don’t laugh, but lately I’ve been making more of an effort to get off my lazy ass and actually move — and being the vain creature that I am, I always insist on wearing makeup to the gym. Sure, I may look better when I walk in, but I reap the rewards of freshly clogged pores and the always charming melted-candle effect (you know what I mean!) before I’ve even finished my requisite half-hour on the elliptical. Enter Rae Cosmetics. This collection was formulated with active women in mind and, despite what its workout-worthy claims may lead you to believe, does not contain sweat-resistant superchemicals: quite the contrary, in fact, as Rae only uses hypoallergenic, all-natural, noncomedogenic ingredients. Sold! [$15-$120, Rae Cosmetics]