As anyone who’s had a frustrating conversation with their parents knows, the job market just ain’t what it used to be. Where our parents generation may have switched jobs four or five times in a lifetime, these days, it’s far more common for people to change jobs — and sometimes whole careers — at least twice in a decade. The Bureau of Labor reports that the average worker spends around 4.4 years in each position. And for millenials, that number’s even higher. Whew.
A lot of time, energy and interview outfits will go into the jobs you’re likely to pursue over a lifetime, so why not go through the process in the best way possible? Whether you’re just starting out, or have been in the workforce for a while, getting a new job can be a daunting process. So it’s a good thing we’ve compiled a list of 26 tips, culled from our combined 50+ years in the working world. So check out our advice, and then share yours in the comments!
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I will never so much as smile at my boss Amelia again. Why? Because the Iowa Supreme Court ruled today that an employer can fire an employee that he or see finds sexually “irresistable.” The case in question was dentist James Knight who fired his attractive assistant Melissa Nelson because both he and his wife thought this woman could come between them. Also, she wore “distracting” tight clothing! An all-male panel of seven judges agreed this slutty slut had to go: they said it’s not discrimination for bosses to fire someone with whom they have an “irresistible attraction,” even if the person in question has not flirted with them. Keep reading »
I was talking to my guy friend about Caitlin Moran’s book How To Be A Woman, which led us to the topic of money. I said that I am a feminist, but I am not completely resistant to guys paying for my meals on dates because most guys I know make more money than women. (That is my personal experience.)
“Do you really think you make less money because you’re a woman?” he asked. “In 2012, in New York City, where everyone is equal? You really think that’s what the problem is?”
At his work, he said, women and gays made up a majority of the employees, and he hinted at the implication that he was the one being slighted, being in the white, male, heterosexual minority. Keep reading »
Last week, I had my friend Katelyn over to spend the day co-working at my house. Usually I work from home alone, which I don’t mind, but I was thrilled to have a coworker for the day, and immediately regaled her with some of the worst workplace jokes I had collected from the years I spent working in traditional offices. “Damn, is it Friday yet?” I groaned as I walked to the kitchen to get more coffee. ”Why are you talking like that?” she asked with genuine concern, and suddenly I realized Katelyn had never had a desk job. She had no idea about novelty coffee mugs and perfectly timed staff meeting zingers. It was quite possible she had never come down with a nasty case of the Mondays.
I spent the rest of the day schooling her on the basics of office humor, and decided that it would probably be prudent to compile all the worst office joke genres in one place. Whether you’re new to the subject or have been honing your “Give me coffee and nobody gets hurt” material for years, read on for a comprehensive field guide to 9-5 humor…
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Black Friday is a uniquely American consumerist faux “holiday” that I will never understand. Do millions of people really want to endure screaming toddlers and hordes of teenagers at the mall just so they can buy an Old Navy fleece for 20 percent off? No, thanks.
But for the retail workers who have to mediate the screaming toddler hellscape, they have little or no choice. Now, some retail employees, such as those at Walmart and Target who are seeing “Black Friday” begin earlier and earlier each year, they are saying enough is enough. Keep reading »
Back when I worked in a windowless cubicle, I dreamed of being my own boss — no anxiety over running late, no coworkers eating rank food and no shoddy office coffee. To me, a home office was a glistening oasis just out of reach.
Now here I am a year into “working remotely” and it’s poo-poo. I’d snort office Folgers during a dull meeting just to score one annoying coworker. Here are the biggest myths and misconceptions about being a home office drone from someone who knows:
MYTH: More time to hang with friends for lunch, coffee or your general frackin’ around.
FACT: You idiot. Your friends all have real jobs with bosses and things. Even if you did have plans with a bona fide human, you’d behave like a blubbering idiot due to your rapidly-deteriorating social skills. Read more…
There are these women, in Tory Burch flats, with their hair styled, their button-downs starched, and the vents in the backs of their knee-length pencil skirts never rumpled or creased. I know this is true because I see them everyday, slogging along to work, just like me, with their perfectly applied nude lips and their obligatory Longchamps tote.
So as much as I want to believe that such levels of polish existing is as likely as me bumping into a unicorn in CVS, I know better — I’ve commuted beside them in the mornings, quietly mortified. Because, more often than not, I’ve forgotten to apply lipstick before leaving the house, my skirt is clean but wrinkled from sitting on the train ride in, and my own obligatory Longchamps tote — a bid at joining their ranks — is coated in what I am 86% sure is Marshmallow Fluff. (Furtive licking would later prove this to be so.)
It’s not like I’m a slob. I know how to dress for my corporate day job and when I get to the office there’s always a stop at the bathroom to make sure I can pass for business casual. This means: the forgotten lipstick is applied, the cardigan put on, the Fluff removed, the slept-on-it-wet hair pulled back into a clean ponytail, my favorite boots replaced with sensible pumps. By the time I’m done, I’m transformed from who I am into an appropriate, if not stylish, secretary. Keep reading »
Yesterday, I stumbled on a crazy fascinating Reddit thread asking users, “What is something your current or past employee would NOT want the world to know about their company?” Boy, did they answer. We curated some of our favorite and most instructive revelations (occasional misspellings and bad grammer included, FYI) after the jump!
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