Last week, I had my friend Katelyn over to spend the day co-working at my house. Usually I work from home alone, which I don’t mind, but I was thrilled to have a coworker for the day, and immediately regaled her with some of the worst workplace jokes I had collected from the years I spent working in traditional offices. “Damn, is it Friday yet?” I groaned as I walked to the kitchen to get more coffee. ”Why are you talking like that?” she asked with genuine concern, and suddenly I realized Katelyn had never had a desk job. She had no idea about novelty coffee mugs and perfectly timed staff meeting zingers. It was quite possible she had never come down with a nasty case of the Mondays.
I spent the rest of the day schooling her on the basics of office humor, and decided that it would probably be prudent to compile all the worst office joke genres in one place. Whether you’re new to the subject or have been honing your “Give me coffee and nobody gets hurt” material for years, read on for a comprehensive field guide to 9-5 humor…
Keep reading »
Black Friday is a uniquely American consumerist faux “holiday” that I will never understand. Do millions of people really want to endure screaming toddlers and hordes of teenagers at the mall just so they can buy an Old Navy fleece for 20 percent off? No, thanks.
But for the retail workers who have to mediate the screaming toddler hellscape, they have little or no choice. Now, some retail employees, such as those at Walmart and Target who are seeing “Black Friday” begin earlier and earlier each year, they are saying enough is enough. Keep reading »
Back when I worked in a windowless cubicle, I dreamed of being my own boss — no anxiety over running late, no coworkers eating rank food and no shoddy office coffee. To me, a home office was a glistening oasis just out of reach.
Now here I am a year into “working remotely” and it’s poo-poo. I’d snort office Folgers during a dull meeting just to score one annoying coworker. Here are the biggest myths and misconceptions about being a home office drone from someone who knows:
MYTH: More time to hang with friends for lunch, coffee or your general frackin’ around.
FACT: You idiot. Your friends all have real jobs with bosses and things. Even if you did have plans with a bona fide human, you’d behave like a blubbering idiot due to your rapidly-deteriorating social skills. Read more…
There are these women, in Tory Burch flats, with their hair styled, their button-downs starched, and the vents in the backs of their knee-length pencil skirts never rumpled or creased. I know this is true because I see them everyday, slogging along to work, just like me, with their perfectly applied nude lips and their obligatory Longchamps tote.
So as much as I want to believe that such levels of polish existing is as likely as me bumping into a unicorn in CVS, I know better — I’ve commuted beside them in the mornings, quietly mortified. Because, more often than not, I’ve forgotten to apply lipstick before leaving the house, my skirt is clean but wrinkled from sitting on the train ride in, and my own obligatory Longchamps tote — a bid at joining their ranks — is coated in what I am 86% sure is Marshmallow Fluff. (Furtive licking would later prove this to be so.)
It’s not like I’m a slob. I know how to dress for my corporate day job and when I get to the office there’s always a stop at the bathroom to make sure I can pass for business casual. This means: the forgotten lipstick is applied, the cardigan put on, the Fluff removed, the slept-on-it-wet hair pulled back into a clean ponytail, my favorite boots replaced with sensible pumps. By the time I’m done, I’m transformed from who I am into an appropriate, if not stylish, secretary. Keep reading »
Yesterday, I stumbled on a crazy fascinating Reddit thread asking users, “What is something your current or past employee would NOT want the world to know about their company?” Boy, did they answer. We curated some of our favorite and most instructive revelations (occasional misspellings and bad grammer included, FYI) after the jump!
Keep reading »
At The Frisky offices, it’s a rare day when one of us doesn’t come in with blue eyeshadow, orange lipstick, or a dog… but it goes without saying that such isn’t the case for most workplaces. There are only so many times you can wear mascara, a touch of tasteful blush, and lip balm before it gets really, really old. If you’ve surpassed that point, like, yesterday, check out these three pretty, office-appropriate beauty looks — they aren’t quite the fuchsia lip stain or smoky eyes you might choose to sport in your free time, but when it comes to the 9-5, we guess they’ll just have to suffice. (And on the off chance you leave your lipstick at home, they can just as easily work the other 16 hours, too.)
My relationship with Anthropologie is love-hate. I love the company’s handpicked, one-of-a-kind eclectic look. I hate the fact that my loving this stuff only underscores the fact that I am in no way unique and that I have been corporate-brainwashed just like the rest of you ladies who just can’t get enough pencil skirts, ruffled tops and bird motifs. Of course I can’t afford to shop there until something goes on sale — at which point all its “whimsical charm” has worn off and the item somehow returns to looking like the junk it was modeled after.
After my latest visit, however, I think my love-hate has officially turned to hate-hate when I left even more offended than the time I saw an Ikea sticker on an item involved in a window display (proving that even Anthropologie is not stupid enough to shop at Anthropologie). There, next to the register, was a sign announcing that the retailer is currently hiring interns. Keep reading »
When I entered the ranks of the unemployed, I was full of optimism. How hard could it really be to get a job? I asked myself. I have a college degree. I’ve been gainfully employed since I graduated.
Answer? Very hard. I was out of work for over a year and reached a level of desperation usually reserved for meth addicts.
Here are a few of the lessons I learned while collecting government checks… Keep reading »
Last year, we did a “Best And Worst Careers For Love” survey which highlighted, among other things, that the five worst careers when it comes to finding love are: journalism (ha), business ownership, healthcare, real estate and law. This isn’t terribly surprising given the long hours of these careers, and how long it takes to ascend to the top in all of them.
But according to a new survey from eHarmony, maybe if these work addicts went for the opposite type of profession when it came to scoping out a potential love interest, they’d be happier. In honor of Labor Day, the online dating site looked at communication trends between their users to find out how they were influenced by people’s careers. It turns out that what you do for a living has a big influence on who you hit up online in your off-hours. Here are just a few of the tidbits they found:
1. Female business executives have the highest rate of communication with men who are barbers or hair stylists. Wait … really? I don’t see those two professions dating in real life too much. Maybe the businesswomen need hairstyle advice? Read more…