Recently, during a weekly therapy session, my doc and I were doing our thing, talkin’ ’bout boys, my frustration with the ones I have met, and my recent relapse into dreaming about my ex; I was telling her that sometimes, despite being a relatively solitary person who enjoys time alone, I get overwhelmed with loneliness. I miss something I don’t have anymore, that feeling of deep companionship.
It’s something we’ve talked about often in the last year and a half since my biggie breakup; during that time, as my loneliness and grief waxed and waned, my career has thrived. The Frisky has become more successful than I dared to have dreamed when we first started it and I’m noodling with the idea of writing a book; both work and personal projects keep me busy and sometimes I feel like I need to pinch myself to confirm that my professional aspirations have been met with truly thrilling results. Keep reading »
Do you know what drives me crazy? Too much information at the inappropriate time and place. I don’t want to hear about your struggle with mental illness at my birthday party, or your bout of diarrhea while I’m working, or how you’re under federal investigation for tax evasion on our first date, or how your ex-GF had a banging body the first time I am naked in your bed. TMI! Because it just doesn’t seem to come instinctively to some people, we thought we might need to spell it out for ya. How much info is too much info? After the jump, the rules of TMI brought to you by The Frisky staff. Because we care about you. Feel free to add your own TMI rules to live by in the comments. Keep reading »
Hallelujah! It’s Friday, and that means one thing: Happy Hour. You go out after work, the boss treats everybody to a round and you loosen up a bit. You spend a lot of time with your co-workers, and you always enjoy having a few beers on a Friday evening. But is there a line? After the jump, read more and tell us how you act when you’re out with your fellow employees. Keep reading »
Recently, I put myself in a tangle that I will be the first to admit was stupid: I took someone’s bait when I just should have kept my head down and my mouth shut. And this chafed like a subcutaneous rash. Ugh … you did it again! You need to have more control over yourself!
I sat with this for a few days, wondering why I keep letting myself keep doing this. One of the things I admire about my boyfriend is when emotions are running high, he can just check out — deescalating a situation like a good police officer. Me? I take that bait. I escalate. And you know what? It wasn’t worth engaging in. The woman who was baiting me was just being a bully. She was trying to intimidate me and demarcate lines of power, which pissed me off. I’m not keen on authority that I don’t respect.
Then something brilliant occurred to me last night: I can’t control petty behavior and I can’t control what other people’s defense mechanisms are, but I can change the way I see situations like this. And the way I see it now is I don’t need to be a bitch to get what I want. Keep reading »
This originally posted yesterday at 6:30 pm, but then there was some sort of snafu and a bunch of text deleted. Anyway, here’s yesterday’s Lady News, uh, today. — Editor Amelia
- Charlotte Hanna, a former vice president at Goldman Sachs, is suing the company for setting her on a “mommy track,” which she says led to her getting fired while on maternity leave. Hanna was hired at Goldman Sachs in 1998 and promoted to vice president two years later. Her lawsuit claims, however, that she was demoted in 2005 after she returned from her first maternity leave and was fired while on her second maternity leave in 2009. “When Ms. Hanna decided to take the ‘off-ramp’ provided by the firm to devote time to her children, there was no ‘on-ramp’ that enabled her to return to full-time employment,” her lawsuit states. “Essentially, the ‘off-ramp’ was a direct path to a mommy-track that ultimately derailed Ms. Hanna’s career.” [Reuters]
- Today’s featured entry on Wikipedia.org is about “wife selling.” Interesting. [Wikipedia.org]
Keep reading »
It’s not always us ladies who have to deal with Bill or Betsy’s TMI convos at the water cooler: Men filed 16.4 percent of all sexual harassment claims in 2009, up from 15.4 percent of all claims in 2006, according to the U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission. Employment lawyers told The Wall Street Journal that they are increasingly seeing “locker room” behavior, like raunchy talk or sexual innuendo, in sexual harassment claims from men. But experts say some men are reluctant to report it because they don’t want to look like they’re weak, whiny or, strangely, gay, for reporting the abuse of power. Of course, women still file the overwhelming majority of sexual harassment claims at work. But the fact that guys deal with this crap at work, too, proves that sexual harassment is not a case of a woman “encouraging” or “asking for it.” [Wall Street Journal] Keep reading »
I used to be defined by one singular character: ambition. As early as 9th grade, I knew that I wanted to be a journalist who wrote long-form investigative articles. And for nine or 10 years, everything about my life was focused around that one goal: where I went to school, how I spent my “free” time, who my friends were, even whom I dated. It’s not an exaggeration to say my drive consumed my life — and I was perfectly OK, even pleased, with that. I seriously believed that at long last I would finally be happy when people bought magazines with my writing in them.
The thing is, ambition for ambition’s sake turns out to be a hollow way to live one’s life. It’s a means to an end, of course, but considering that the target you are shooting for is constantly shifting, it can also be exhausting. Don’t misunderstand me: I’m proud of my accomplishments — articles I’ve written, interviews I’ve conducted, maybe a few lives I’ve affected. But if I could go back in time and change a few things, I just might do it.
And the first thing that I would change? I would not have dated so many men whose careers I envied. Life is hard enough when you’re putting unreasonable expectations on yourself to succeed, but it’s damn near impossible when you’re comparing yourself to someone you’re sleeping with. Keep reading »
We’ve learned a few things from watching Anna Wintour on TV specials and in “The September Issue.” So it’s not at all surprising that filmmaker R.J. Cutler, the man behind the documentary, picked up a few pointers from the Vogue editor-in-chief during the eight months he filmed her at work. Keep reading to find out four of Anna’s professional philosophies. Since they helped Anna become the powerful woman she is today, we’re sure that applying them to your 9-to-5 will get you promoted. Keep reading »
You’ve already heard the upsetting news that folks whose name starts with the letter “D” live shorter lives. But now I need to have a chat with all of you named Andy or Sarah. If you’re actually at work right now, and not out pretending to be sick, you may want to make sure no one is spying on you in your cubicle before you read on. Keep reading »