Everyone’s favorite sullen minx from “Beetlejuice” has returned to the spotlight! Closing in on 40, the formerly sticky-fingered Winona Ryder has descended from her pedestal for an interview with BlackBook. Why? She’s got a movie to promote (“The Private Lives of Pippa Lee”), dammit! After the jump, the best of what wacky Winona spewed.

Corn Nuts! I am literally shaking with excitement over the news that “Heathers” is being revamped into a TV show. The 1989 movie, the ultimate high school revenge fantasy, elevated Winona Ryder to star status as she tried to fit in with her school’s mean girls, all named Heather. (The best: Heather Chandler, played by pre-“90210” Shannen Doherty). Until J.D. (a hot Christian Slater) rolled into town and made her his accomplice in murdering the cool kids in school and making ‘em look like suicides. “Heathers” remains one of my top five favorite flicks of all time, and I have a feeling a show based on it could be very, very good—like “Gossip Girl” with a dark comedy twist. Jenny Bicks, a “Sex and the City” writer, is also executive producing. And the word on the street is that Winona and Christian may even be reprising their bad-ass roles. Prepare your croquet mallets and start singing “Que Sera Sera.” [Press Association]

Do you swear to tell the truth, avoid neon colors, and not wear sunglasses as headbands, so help you God? In a courthouse, there is a legal oath as well as a fashion oath. Few people would repeat [Michael Jackson’s pajama-clad court appearance faux pas, but many overlook the less obvious style no-no’s in a courtroom. Whether you’re in the jury box, testifying, or, heaven forbid, the defendant, there are certain rules everyone should follow in front of the (fashion) judge.

In today’s installment of GOOP, the newsletter we love to hate and hate to love, Gwyneth Paltrow bores us to tears with words of wisdom about “evil tongue,” i.e. speaking evil of others. Before asking her various gurus and life coaches and self-help experts to help her understand “the consequences of perpetuating negativity or feeling schadenfreude,” she talks about her experience with a “frenemy” and admits that her own tongue, GASP, is occasionally evil.

Back in the day, I had a “frenemy” who, as it turned out, was pretty hell-bent on taking me down. This person really did what they could to hurt me. I was deeply upset, I was angry, I was all of those things you feel when you find out that someone you thought you liked was venomous and dangerous. I restrained myself from fighting back. I tried to take the high road. But one day I heard that something unfortunate and humiliating had happened to this person. And my reaction was deep relief and…happiness. There went the high road.

Naturally, we didn’t give a s**t about any of GOOP’s “lessons” about, um, s**t-talking, but we did go cuh-razy hypothesizing about WHO this “frenemy” could be. Frankly, it’s so obvious, it’s almost sad. Our theory, after the jump.

Headbands are an accessory often overlooked by grown woman. For sure, certain styles make their wearer look a little innocent, which isn’t always a bad thing. Remember when Winona Ryder sported a headband during her shoplifting trial in 2002? But these headbands are a little more fabulous than the ones you wore in elementary school. They have things like feathers (Have you noticed I have a thing for feather headbands?), jewels, and flowers adorning them, so they’re pretty fancy. Also, they come in handy when your hair is just not cooperating.

Gwyneth Paltrow got a “C” tattooed on her thigh, Cindy Adams reported in today’s New York Post. That’s “C” for Chris Martin and Coldplay. I don’t understand getting a tattoo in honor of a significant other—a blood relative, maybe (after all, you’re already stuck with them forever). Perhaps this is a highly pessimistic opinion, but I think getting tattooed with someone’s name almost guarantees the relationship won’t last, as a few celebs have learned…

Heathers, one of the all-time best high school movies, was written by Daniel Waters. Is his new movie, Sex and Love 101 (starring Simon Baker and Winona Ryder) destined for greatness? Hmmm, we shall see. It seems to be about a man named Rodrick who is hot and has a lot going for him. Then his secretary (named Trixie?) gets an email with a list of all the people he has ever slept with, and ever will. The thing is, he’s engaged. I guess he has to go down the list and sleep with everyone before he gets married? And then he meets Death Nell, Winona Ryder’s character, who is “the worst thing to happen to men in quite some time.” She seems evil or something. The movie is out today (though the release is limited, it seems).