If you use Twitter, you know that in the lower right-hand corner of your page, there is always a list of the top 10 “trending topics” that tells you what everyone is tweeting about. Sometimes everyone’s got “paranormal activity” or Taylor Swift on the brain, but oftentimes, people sound off on random topic ideas. Fun, right?

Well, things “a real wife ...” should do has become a trending topic on Twitter and just wait until you read the hardy-har-har list of things people have come up with! I know some people are being silly and joking, but it’s got to be some statement on gender roles if literally hundreds of people are suggesting “a real wife” should keep her man happy with food and sex. Or maybe these clowns are just confusing a real wife with “A Real Housewife”? After the jump, the most barf-tastic, as well as funniest, favorites.

Sen. Mark Sanford, the Republican governor of South Carolina, admitted at a press conference this afternoon that he has been having an extramarital affair with a “dear, dear friend” in Argentina for the past year. Incidentally, he and his wife were on a trial separation.

Cuckolded wives and politicians go together like gravy and mashed potatoes. Maybe the wives aren’t surprised—Sanford’s wife apparently knew about his Argentinian affair for months—by the cheating the same way as the public is. But what gets me every time is when Silda Spitzer stands up next Eliot while he grovels for the public’s forgiveness, or Elizabeth Edwards invites Oprah into her home to talk about John’s affair, or Larry Craig’s wife, Suzanne, walks hand-in-hand to his press conference where he denies being gay. I just roll my eyes.

I was raised by a working, single mother. She went to Stanford, majored in economics, became a public school teacher, wrote a book, and now works as a journalist. She didn’t give up her job when she had my sister or me, and she certainly didn’t give it up after she and my father divorced. I consider her the ultimate feminist—she’s worked her butt off, made a living on her own, and raised two perfect daughters (just kidding). She’s my hero. But if she had quit her job when I was born, retiring at age 31, would she still be my #1 role model? It’s hard to say.

While three sister wives may seem like one big, happy family on Big Love, try having 86! Mohammed Bello Abubakar, an 84-year-old Muslim preacher in Nigeria, has married more women than years he’s been alive and most of his wives are, surprisingly, in their twenties. Can you imagine trying to feed the 170 children he’s fathered?!  Neither he nor his wives work, but they somehow manage to pay for the $915 (26.5 lbs) worth of rice they consume each day.  Needless to say, the Islamic Authorities in his home state consider him a cult leader, but he fancies himself a shaman who doesn’t believe in modern medicine. Abubakar credits his healing powers with his ability to attract so many women. He told the BBC, “I don’t go looking for them, they come to me. I will consider the fact that God has asked me to do it and I will just marry them… That is why I have been able to control 86 of them.” Um, what a romantic? [BBC]

Who gets on your nerves?  If you said your spouse, you agree with most married people. (If you are single, like myself, let’s take this moment to laugh at the little things that annoy us since we aren’t contractually obligated to them for life.)  According to a study conducted by the Institute for Social Research at the University of Michigan, the longer a couple is married, the more things they find annoying about each other. Aw, isn’t love grand?  While couples in their 20’s and 30’s may be vocal and try to work things out, 40-plus people just seem to give up and get along. This behavior begs the question: does keeping quiet make things better or worse? Either way, you’re bound to be bothered by your ball and chain. [Afroromance]