I recently got into a interesting conversation with a few White women I know, who happen to date Black or minority men, and it really highlighted a need to explore the complexities of such unions in greater depth. Though I do support the right to love anyone, regardless of color (or gender/gender identity), I also believe that the challenges of interracial relationships are often obscure and infrequently discussed. To put it bluntly, many White people simply have no idea what they are getting into when they begin relationships with people of color. To raise awareness of the issues such individuals may encounter, I decided to write this list. I hope it can be helpful! Keep reading »
Dear Ernest Baker,
In your recent personal essay on Gawker titled “The Reality of Dating White Women When You Are Black,” you stated unequivocally that you are not a “sell out” because you are a Black man who chooses to seriously date only White women. As a 24-year-old Black woman with very similar life circumstances, I can assure you that after reading your piece — although you may not believe that you are a “sell-out” or that you are riddled by “self hate” —the man who wrote that piece is both. Keep reading »
We’re more than a decade into the 21st century. I’d hoped — in vain — that some basic understandings of how non-Black people should interact with Black people could be something I could take for granted. But no. Somehow there are “those people” who remain entirely clueless, so much so that they will call a 9-year old the c-word, or paint a white model bronze-Black, or not even, as so-called, journalists, bother to learn the pronunciation of an Oscar nominee’s name. This is unacceptable.
Recently, I read the comments section of a post on Clutch where a male reader was baffled as how to initiate a conversation with Black women and asked for some rules. Several helpful women obliged. In the same spirit of combating ignorance, I offer rules for non-Black people to engage Black women without causing offense. If you can manage NOT to do the following, you can probably come across as a decent human being.
Humbly, I submit a basic list, my rules of engagement, and ask you NOT to do the following (and encourage Black women to add to the list in the comments)… Keep reading »
When we sat down to record our “I Always Wanted To Ask” video series with Madame Noire, we discovered that there were a couple of questions we had for each other that kind of overlapped, including on the topic of hair. Veronica, Brande and Victoria wanted to know whether we, as white women, care about our hair as much as they, as Black women, care about theirs. We wanted to know more about the politics behind Black hair, like wearing weaves or using relaxers versus wearing their hair natural. Check out our chat above and share your questions and comments below!
I am so so so stoked to have you guys watch the second episode of “I Always Wanted To Ask,” the video series we did in collaboration with the fantastic women of Madame Noire. The series features The Frisky staff answering the questions they always wanted to ask white women, and Madame Noire’s staff — Brande, Veronica and Victoria — answering the questions we always wanted to ask Black women. Our first episode focused on interracial dating, but this episode gets a little heavier: the women of Madame Noire wanted to know, “Why are some white people hell-bent on using the n-word?” Check out the episode above and please weigh in with your thoughts on the topic in the comments!
About a month ago, I received an interesting proposition from a fellow editor at a women’s website called Madame Noire. Would The Frisky staff like to participate in an exchange where the editors of Madame Noire (all Black women) would ask us he questions they’d always wanted to ask white women, and vice versa. (The idea came from a similar exchange on the site VerySmartBrothas.com.) All of us were immediately psyched for the opportunity to talk honestly about race, a subject that is often rife with discomfort, and to see what we could learn from each other as a result. What originally was going to be a written post evolved into a video shoot, which went on way longer than any of us planned because we could not stop talking, and as result, we have the first in a multi-part series of episodes called “I Always Wanted To Ask…” This first episode focuses specifically on interracial dating. Before you watch, get to know the awesome women from Madame Noire, Brande, Veronica and Victoria, after the jump — and be sure to check out their site! We look forward to hearing what you think so please share your thoughts in the comments! Keep reading »