Tag Archives: white house

The White House Response To A Petition To Build A Death Star Is The Best Thing Ever

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The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:

  • The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
  • The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
  • Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?

– The White House’s response to a citizens’ petition to build a Death Star (yes, like the one in “Star Wars”), which gathered more than 34,000 signatures, is all sorts of amazing. The response — penned by Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget — goes on to laud the country’s many other advancements in space science and encourages the petitioners to do their part in enjoying the future, by “pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field.” And also, he says, “Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.” Best response ever, this is. [WhiteHouse.gov]

Woman In The White House

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"It's way overdue."

As if Sheryl Crow couldn’t get any more badass. Growing up to the tunes of “Soak Up the Sun” and “If It Makes You Happy,” I’m pretty psyched about Crow’s newly released song, “Woman In The White House.”

After endorsing Obama back in 2008, Crow thinks that “after 230-something years of waiting [for a woman in the White House,] it’s way overdue.” Crow belts out her belief that women will be the one to “clean up Capitol Hill.” I wonder whether she has any particular woman in mind — perhaps even herself? [Huffington Post]

What It Would Cost You To Buy The White House

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Say you wanted to buy the White House — just how much money might you need? According to the latest estimate, you’d need $284.9 million dollars. That’s up nearly $5 million more than it was worth four years ago.

But if you buy the White House, what are you getting, exactly? Keep reading »

Women Are Turned On By The Eiffel Tower, Men By The White House

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Fun with data about sexual fantasies! A new survey found that 33 percent of American women have had a sexual fantasy which took place at the Eiffel Tower. Can you blame them? It’s a sexy structure. Fun fact: Some woman was so taken with the the Eiffel Tower that she married it. Her name is Erika La Tour Eiffel. She consummated her marriage by straddling the tower naked. So hands off, ladies.   Keep reading »

Brad Pitt And Angelina Jolie Go To The White House

Yes, Brad and Angelina are Hollywood royalty, but it looks to me like they might just have some political connections as well. The gorgeous couple stopped by the White House this week, while in town for the D.C. fête of Angelina’s new film, In the Land of Blood and Honey. Apparently, Obama extended the invitation in part to discuss Jolie’s commitment to preventing future genocides and fighting back against sexual violence towards women. Angelina’s admirable causes have been bringing such issues to light for more than a decade now, and it’s her philanthropic leanings (and her children) that helped her to overcome her previous battles with substance abuse and other self-destructive behavior. This meeting of the minds was not their first encounter with the president — in 2009, Brad met with Obama to discuss his devotion to rebuilding the Ninth Ward in New Orleans following disastrous Hurricane Katrina. [Associated Press]

Common Reads Poetry At The White House, Sarah Palin Whines About It

Sarah Palin, the mother of the world’s most famous plastic surgery laden, reality show-starring teen mom, pitched a fit this week because First Lady Michelle Obama invited the hip hop artist/actor/poet, Common, to perform poetry at the White House.

See, some of Common’s lyrics are not as G-rated as everything the Palin family does, like killing animals, surgically altering their facial features “for medical reasons” and getting knocked up whilst still in high school. Keep reading »

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