“We, the undersigned, would like the Obama administration to recognize the need for a new national anthem, one that even a decade after its creation, is still hot and fresh out the kitchen. America has changed since Francis Scott Key penned our current anthem in 1814. Since then, we have realized that after the show, it’s the afterparty, and that after the party, it’s the hotel lobby, and–perhaps most importantly–that ’round about four, you’ve got to clear the lobby, at which point it’s strongly recommended that you take it to the room and freak somebody. President Obama: we ask you to recognize the evolution of this beautiful country and give us an anthem that better suits the glorious nation we have become.”
––This is the actual text of a petition to the Obama Administration to change the national anthem to R. Kelly’s 2003 hit “Ignition (Remix).” Only 95,000 more signatures are needed to guarantee an official response from the White House. Let’s do this. [Whitehouse via Buzzfeed]
Big Bird flew up from Sesame Street to help Michelle Obama hunt for healthy snacks in the White House kitchen as part of her Let’s Move! campaign.
Another video about how much fun (?) it is to exercise, after the jump… Keep reading »
Attention, American public: The White House has seen your petitions about building a Death Star, investigating the feasibility of building the Enterprise, and giving each state an official Pokémon. In one case they even responded in a particularly awesome way. But now they have another message for you: Cut it out, guys. It’s getting tired.
To that end, We the People—whitehouse.gov’s official petition site–is upping the number of signatures required for an official White House response from 25,000 to 100,000. Read more…
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
- The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.
- The Administration does not support blowing up planets.
- Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?
– The White House’s response to a citizens’ petition to build a Death Star (yes, like the one in “Star Wars”), which gathered more than 34,000 signatures, is all sorts of amazing. The response — penned by Paul Shawcross, Chief of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget — goes on to laud the country’s many other advancements in space science and encourages the petitioners to do their part in enjoying the future, by “pursuing a career in a science, technology, engineering or math-related field.” And also, he says, “Remember, the Death Star’s power to destroy a planet, or even a whole star system, is insignificant next to the power of the Force.” Best response ever, this is. [WhiteHouse.gov]
As if Sheryl Crow couldn’t get any more badass. Growing up to the tunes of “Soak Up the Sun” and “If It Makes You Happy,” I’m pretty psyched about Crow’s newly released song, “Woman In The White House.”
After endorsing Obama back in 2008, Crow thinks that “after 230-something years of waiting [for a woman in the White House,] it’s way overdue.” Crow belts out her belief that women will be the one to “clean up Capitol Hill.” I wonder whether she has any particular woman in mind — perhaps even herself? [Huffington Post]
Say you wanted to buy the White House — just how much money might you need? According to the latest estimate, you’d need $284.9 million dollars. That’s up nearly $5 million more than it was worth four years ago.
But if you buy the White House, what are you getting, exactly? Keep reading »
Fun with data about sexual fantasies! A new survey found that 33 percent of American women have had a sexual fantasy which took place at the Eiffel Tower. Can you blame them? It’s a sexy structure. Fun fact: Some woman was so taken with the the Eiffel Tower that she married it. Her name is Erika La Tour Eiffel. She consummated her marriage by straddling the tower naked. So hands off, ladies. Keep reading »
Yes, Brad and Angelina are Hollywood royalty, but it looks to me like they might just have some political connections as well. The gorgeous couple stopped by the White House this week, while in town for the D.C. fête of Angelina’s new film, In the Land of Blood and Honey. Apparently, Obama extended the invitation in part to discuss Jolie’s commitment to preventing future genocides and fighting back against sexual violence towards women. Angelina’s admirable causes have been bringing such issues to light for more than a decade now, and it’s her philanthropic leanings (and her children) that helped her to overcome her previous battles with substance abuse and other self-destructive behavior. This meeting of the minds was not their first encounter with the president — in 2009, Brad met with Obama to discuss his devotion to rebuilding the Ninth Ward in New Orleans following disastrous Hurricane Katrina. [Associated Press]
Sarah Palin, the mother of the world’s most famous plastic surgery laden, reality show-starring teen mom, pitched a fit this week because First Lady Michelle Obama invited the hip hop artist/actor/poet, Common, to perform poetry at the White House.
See, some of Common’s lyrics are not as G-rated as everything the Palin family does, like killing animals, surgically altering their facial features “for medical reasons” and getting knocked up whilst still in high school. Keep reading »