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I Tried Whale Semen Hair Conditioner And It Worked

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about whale semen, it’s that if you Tweet about it, you get … crickets.

“HAHA, ASSIGNED TO CONDITION MY HAIR WITH WHALE SEMEN!” I wrote to my unwitting public (of, like, 140 followers).

Nothing. No one wants to hear about that. But they should! Because whale sperm is actually a truly excellent hair conditioner, and I learned this the very, very hard way (my, there are so many semen jokes) when I purchased a tub of whale sperm this week, for the low, low price of $6.99, then slathered it all over my own head — and a good-natured neighbor’s. Read more Keep reading »

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