When I was a kid, my mom always got the Lillian Vernon catalog. Because that was a million years ago, it was an actual paper catalog, and I used to peruse all the weird toys and products, begging my mom to buy me yet another sticker book, or a colored pencil set. While I’m not sure that the paper catalog still exists, you can find the wacky world of Lillian Vernon online, chock full of bizarre things you didn’t know you needed, and probably don’t. But come on, if you can’t spend your money on plastic knickknackery and personalized pet food bowls, then you’re not really living, are you?
This slogan is more effective than even the ol’ right hand. Hand sanitizer really is the perfect addition to any masturbation station. But be careful you don’t get this squirt bottle confused with your lube! [CVXN] Keep reading »
If you thought #3 on yesterday’s list of “Signs You Ain’t Nothin’ But A Hoochie Mama” made you cringe, wait till you hear the name of this new line of blankets: Vagisoft. Shudder. And I’m not shuddering because it’s cold and I need a blanket. I mean Vagisoft sounds like the kinda thing you hide in your medicine cabinet, not sell as being softer than a “freshly laundered bunny.” And, honestly, who would launder a bunny?! The same peeps who make a blanket like a vagina, apparently. Creeps. [WOW Report] Keep reading »
You know those
stupid witty “My Eyes Are Up Here” T-shirts designed to make dudes feel like idiots for ogling our lady goods? Well, apparently one designer has gone the other way entirely, not only not whining about boob-staring, but kind of promoting the activity. Or at least that’s what we make of this tiger T. Stop focusing, for a moment, on the fact that it’s a half shirt paired with a mesh leotard and drop-crotch sweats and you’ll notice that those tiger eyes are in an interesting place indeed. If you decide to wear that, do you really have any right to be annoyed with people for talking at the girls? [$105, Shakuhachi, Pixie Market] Keep reading »
If I were in the business of selling pillows that mold, adjust, and even “breathe” in tune with the person cuddling them, I think I would go for an upbeat message. “Having a pillow that is practically lifelike in its response is awesome and neato! Go out and get one and your life will instantly ROCK!” I would do this because it’s likely that anyone who would buy a pillow that has real doll-like robotic characteristics is probably a sad and lonely human being, and I would want them to feel good about their purchase. (Keep in mind, I am writing this from the perspective of an evil business person, not a compassionate human being.) However, the designer behind the Funktiontide pillow clearly feels the opposite. Keep reading »