Seeing these chocolate champagne gold-dusted Christmas cronuts (say that three times fast!) being hailed as the ultimate Christmas pastry put us in the mood to seek out even more OTTCF (Over The Top Christmas Foods). And oh boy, did we find some doozies. Click through to check out the craziest Christmas treats the internet has to offer, some of which will make you hungry, some of which will make you dry heave, and some of which will you make you do both at the same time, which is quite an impressive feat.
When I first read about the life-size, world record-setting gingerbread house that had been erected in Texas, I was ready to pack my bags and move in. I mean, 39,000 edible cubic feet of gingerbread, frosting, candy canes, and lollipops? Life dream status! But alas, some things that seem like a dream true are actually a nightmare in disguise. In the case of my beloved gingerbread house, the nightmare came in the form of 2,000 bees who have reportedly infested the sugary structure. A beekeeper was brought in to relocate the swarm, but the anxiety caused by the possibility of their return would probably cause me to emotionally eat the entire living room. Because if there’s one thing that’s stronger than my love of gingerbread, it’s my fear of bees. Sigh. I suppose my gingerbread house dream will have to be put on hold, yet again. [Oddity Central]
I recently went on a fall candle shopping spree, so every room of my house is now filled with blissful smells like balsam wood, pumpkin pie, cinnamon, firewood, and cranberry peppermint. But you know what scent is missing from my candle lineup? KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN. Luckily, a Kentucky candlemaker named Kathy Werking has created just such a product, and she didn’t take her job lightly. Check out the product description:
“To craft the perfect xtra crispy aroma, Kathy picks up her cast iron skillet, adds a little seasoning, and gets to work. To make these candles, she fries chicken in all-natural soy wax and adds an infusion of family secrets.”
Yep, these candles are the real deal. If the thought of the aroma of fried chicken wafting through your house fills you with glee instead of dry heaves, you’ll need to act fast: the first batch of 25 KFC candles sold out in under a minute, and the next batch of 100 is going fast! [$22, Kentucky For Kentucky]
My attitude about pretty much everything on a standard Thanksgiving menu is “oh, that’s nice,” but when it comes to stuffing and gravy, my attitude is more along the lines of, “GIVE IT ALL TO ME.” So obviously, I’m really into the idea of these stuffing waffles drizzled with gravy “syrup.” Finally, a perfectly engineered day-after-Thanksgiving breakfast food (way better than the mashed potato and cranberry sauce omelette my dad is so fond of). Are you with me in my desire to chow down on a stack of these? Or does the idea of a savory, gravy-drenched waffle make your stomach turn? [Neatorama]
I’ve been on the hunt for my signature scent ever since Ami became my perfume mentor, and I think I just found it: Pumpkin Pie Cologne from Demeter Fragrance Library. I know I like fragrances with vanilla undertones — why not toss some cinnamon, nutmeg, and pumpkin puree into the mix? Just in case the idea of smelling like pumpkin pie in public freaks you out, the scent is also available in shower gel form, which is a bit more subtle and perfect for lathering up on Thanksgiving morning. Whip cream-scented lotion optional. [Refinery 29]
I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, but I enjoy a small slice of cake from time to time. But I am a traditionalist. I prefer my cake to be of the sheet variety, red velvet, chocolate or vanilla, with simple frosting. No doohickies, no weird filling, and most important of all, no huge celebrities heads and faces. I don’t want to eat Snooki’s pouf, or Rihanna’s pursed lips, or Willie Nelson’s braids. Alas, there is a market for highly realistic and unappetizing celeb-inspired cakes. Click through for just a few…
If I told you that the “beer and sausage diet” had been dreamed up by a man, no one would be surprised, right? I mean, half of my guy friends already follow this diet religiously, even though they haven’t officially titled it as such. But if I told you that the man who made up this diet has actually been losing weight on it, you would be kind of surprised, right? Well, it’s true. Keep reading »
That big ol’ hunk of medium rare roast beef up there? That’s not meat. It’s a cake, and so are the roasted potatoes on the side. Ridiculous, right? This savory-looking sweet is the work of amateur baker (I’m not sure I agree with the word “amateur” here) Louise Caola, who specializes in making realistic looking meals out of cake, fondant, and frosting. After the jump, check out a few more of her mindbending works of edible art, including cakes that look like pizza, bangers and mash, and McDonald’s menu items! Keep reading »
Three words: Blue. Cheese. Lollipop. OK, let’s all just make a communal “Eeeeeeeewwww!” sound now to get it over with, but after we’re done with that I feel compelled to report that Lollyphile, the company who makes these cheesy candies, claims that they’re actually really good, which apparently came as a surprise to them:
“It started off as a joke. We were all scared to try it. Maria (our model) popped it in her mouth and said, ‘Oh! It’s awesome!’ And we assumed she was lying until she ate the whole thing. And then we apologized for doubting her and tried them out and they were, in fact, awesome, because you know what? Sweetness & sharp cheeses go together- it’s why restaurants drizzle honey on gorgonzola. Anyway. It’s fun, it’s sweet, it’s bizarre, it’s an adventure.”
I’d definitely be more willing to try one of these than, say, a breast milk lollipop (shudder), but I’m still not sure I’m sold. How about you guys? If you’re keen for a lick of sweet, salty cheese, your can get 4 lollipops for $10 on the Lollyphile website.
Artist Sarah King has carved out a unique creative niche — in noodles. In response to a recent call for “noodle art” from Kabuto Noodles, King discovered that she has quite a knack for making edible celebrity portraits using nothing but noodles and an assortment of sauces. Can you recognize the famous faces in the noodle and soy sauce masterpieces above? Check out the answers after the jump! Keep reading »