Tag Archives: weird crimes

It Happened In Florida: Woman Busted With 7 Stolen Lobster Tails Stuffed Down Her Pants (And She’s A Juggalo!)

Pantsless Criminals
8 Criminals Who Were Caught With Their Pants Off
Eight criminals who were caught with their pants off. Read More »
It Happened In Florida: Woman Busted With 7 Stolen Lobster Tails Stuffed Down Her Pants (And She's A Juggalo!)

Never change, Florida, never change. Meet Nichole Ann Reed, a 30-year-old Juggalo (whose Facebook says her most recent job was “eating them” at “The Dark Carnival”) who was recently busted by security for stealing seven frozen lobster tails from a Publix supermarket in DeLand. (Remember, sticky-fingered Floridians, Publix has security cameras.) Security footage showed Reed stuffing the tails down her pants and police picked her up a few hours later. And get this: she wasn’t even planning on eating them! Reed told police that she was either going to trade the lobster tails with a friend in exchange for a Chinese buffet lunch or the opiate Dilaudid. Tough decision, truly — and one she won’t have to make now that she’s in the clink. [Crime Feed]

Woman Busted With 81 Pounds Of Pot In Her Luggage At Oakland Airport

Woman Busted With 81 Pounds Of Pot In Her Luggage At Oakland Airport

I don’t know much about drug trafficking, but it seems like a no brainer that checking three suitcases packed with a total of 80 lbs. of marijuana is a great way to get caught. Maybe 26-year-old Anastasia Murdock was stoned when she came up with her grand plan to transport the weed from Oakland, California, to Jackson, Mississippi, last week. It didn’t take airport authorities long to realize Murdock’s luggage was stuffed with $100,000 worth of vacuum-sealed greenery and she was immediately arrested on suspicion of of possessing marijuana for sale and intent to sell. Ya think? She’s being held on $250,000 bail and will be arraigned tomorrow. I have two questions: 1) Can they consider a third charge for being a total dumbass? And 2) what did the police do with all that weed? [San Jose Mercury News]

20-Something Trio Celebrates Paying Off A Fine By Throwing A Drug-Fueled Twerk-And-Tinkle Party In City Hall Parking Lot

20-Something Trio Celebrates Paying Off A Fine By Throwing A Drug-Fueled Twerk-And-Tinkle Party In City Hall Parking Lot

Our own Winona is from a town in Oregon called Beaverton. You know who else is from Beaverton? These three ladies, Brittany Medak, 20, Christie Valazquez Coura, 20, and Leokham Yothsombath, 22, who celebrated paying off a fine at municipal court by throwing an impromptu twerking party in the City Hall parking lot. But this was no innocent affair; after doing some drugs — “molly cut with meth,” according to a post on Yothsombath’s Facebook page — the three twerked some more and then peed between and on a few cars in full public view while a friend filmed. The three were promptly arrested after police were called and a search of their vehicle unearthed cocaine, marijuana and methamphetamine (Yothsombath still insists this was molly, aka MDMA, cut with meth, but I don’t think it really matters). They were arrested and booked on multiple charges including drug possession, disorderly conduct and tampering with drug records. In other words, these three are in much bigger trouble now than they were for whatever brought them to court in the first place. The question is, in the event they beat the charges, how will they celebrate? By blowing eight balls and shitting on someone’s hood? [Crime Feed]

8 Criminals Who Were Caught With Their Pants Off

I know as well as anyone that nothing stands between a woman and her wine, and in the case of Florida’s Desiree J. Taylor, that includes pants. The 35-year-old woman was caught on a surveillance camera meandering around a Publix supermarket in Ocala in just a T-shirt and a pair of slippers, listening to music on her tablet, and then waltzing out of the store with a stolen case of boxed wine under her arm. She was arrested yesterday morning on charges of disorderly conduct, resisting a merchant and petty theft, police said. I’m guessing they decided not to charge her with indecent exposure on account of the fact that she at least paired her pantlessness with a T-shirt that came down to the tops of her thighs. Let this be a lesson, criminals — if you’re going to go pantless, make sure you’re at least wearing a top that could pass for a mini dress. [Crime Feed]

Shockingly enough, pantless crimes are really quite common. It seems like every other week I read a story about the police picking up a perp who forgot to put his or her pants on before committing some nefarious deed. Way to be discreet! Here are just eight mostly recent examples of criminals who drew even more attention to their illegal activity by breaking the law pantless

Teens Threw Mansion Party, Stole $250K Leopard

Sixteen suspects described as “kids of means” have been arrested after a wild party in a wealthy Los Angeles suburb where a $7 million mansion was trashed and partygoers made off with a bizarre assortment of loot—including a mounted snow leopard valued at $250,000. Read more on Newser …

Man Brands Passed Out Girlfriend’s “Vaginal Area” With His Initials

Man Brands Passed Out Girlfriend's Vaginal Area With His Initials

Meet Christopher Lynn Jackson, an Arizona man who, according to court documents, allegedly branded his initials on his girlfriend’s “vaginal area,” because, he told her, “her vagina was his.”

The incident took place back in May but Jackson’s now ex girlfriend only came forward this week. According to her, Jackson took her to a baseball game and then wanted to go dancing afterwards. She refused because she was tired, so Jackson gave her what he called “energy pills,” but instead of waking her up, she ended up passing out. When she woke up, she felt serious pain in her vaginal area and looked down to see a C and J branded there. Jackson was nearby with branding equipment and a butane torch. A search warrant further confirmed the woman’s allegations and Jackson was arrested for felony aggravated assault. Jackson has allegedly since bragged about branding other previous girlfriends.

And you thought your boyfriend was being an asshole. Put this guy awaaaaay. [Gawker]

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