weird crimes - Page 2

Today In PAFU: Man Accused Of Killing Cousin During “Sex Game Gone Wrong” Cleared

PAFU, in case you forgot, is a term coined by our dear Ami Angelowicz, which stands for “People Are Fucked Up.”

Mark Pickford, 41, from Manchester, England, has been cleared in the death of his cousin, Dawn Warburton, in what authorities believe was a “sex game gone wrong.” Yes, a sex game between… More »


4-Year-Old Foils Babysitter’s Plan To Blame Staged Home Invasion/Robbery On Black Men

Kids say the darndest things — including the truth when you least expect it. Four year-old Abby Dean from Washington, Wisconsin, was chillin’ at home with her 17-year-old babysitter, when two men broke in the house and stole the family’s iPod, Xbox and Wii consoles. When the police arrived, the babysitter told officers that two… More »


Real-Life Goldilocks Arrested After Falling Asleep During A Break-In

Having your house broken into is hardly what anyone would consider a “fairytale,” but when the burglar in question falls asleep on your couch after taking a shower, changing into your clothes and eating your food, it sounds an awful lot like one fairytale in particular. Meet Chancy Layton, 19, Florida’s (where else?) own real-life… More »


It Happened In Florida: Woman Busted With 7 Stolen Lobster Tails Stuffed Down Her Pants (And She’s A Juggalo!)

Never change, Florida, never change. Meet Nichole Ann Reed, a 30-year-old Juggalo (whose Facebook says her most recent job was “eating them” at “The Dark Carnival”) who was recently busted by security for stealing seven frozen lobster tails from a Publix supermarket in DeLand. (Remember, sticky-fingered Floridians, Publix has security cameras.) Security footage showed Reed stuffing… More »


Woman Busted With 81 Pounds Of Pot In Her Luggage At Oakland Airport

I don’t know much about drug trafficking, but it seems like a no brainer that checking three suitcases packed with a total of 80 lbs. of marijuana is a great way to get caught. Maybe 26-year-old Anastasia Murdock was stoned when she came up with her grand plan to transport the weed from Oakland, California, to… More »


20-Something Trio Celebrates Paying Off A Fine By Throwing A Drug-Fueled Twerk-And-Tinkle Party In City Hall Parking Lot

Our own Winona is from a town in Oregon called Beaverton. You know who else is from Beaverton? These three ladies, Brittany Medak, 20, Christie Valazquez Coura, 20, and Leokham Yothsombath, 22, who celebrated paying off a fine at municipal court by throwing an impromptu twerking party in the City Hall parking lot. But this was… More »


8 Criminals Who Were Caught With Their Pants Off

I know as well as anyone that nothing stands between a woman and her wine, and in the case of Florida’s Desiree J. Taylor, that includes pants. The 35-year-old woman was caught on a surveillance camera meandering around a Publix supermarket in Ocala in just a T-shirt and a pair of slippers, listening to music… More »


It Happened In Florida: McDonald’s Customer Strips Down To Her Thong, Goes Apeshit For Soft Serve

Did you ever read the Ramona Quimby books? One of my favorite stories is when Ramona literally cannot fight the desire to squeeze an entire brand new tube of toothpaste, emptying it in long, satisfying stream into the sink. I wanted — nay, WANT — to do that so bad. The only thing I want to do more is to… More »


Teens Threw Mansion Party, Stole $250K Leopard

Sixteen suspects described as “kids of means” have been arrested after a wild party in a wealthy Los Angeles suburb where a $7 million mansion was trashed and partygoers made off with a bizarre assortment of loot—including a mounted snow leopard valued at $250,000. Read more on Newser …More »


Man Brands Passed Out Girlfriend’s “Vaginal Area” With His Initials

Meet Christopher Lynn Jackson, an Arizona man who, according to court documents, allegedly branded his initials on his girlfriend’s “vaginal area,” because, he told her, “her vagina was his.”

The incident took place back in May but Jackson’s now ex girlfriend only came forward this week. According to her, Jackson took her to a baseball game… More »


Woman Arrested For Pretending To Be A Dentist

You can pretend to have read Thomas Pynchon. You can pretend you really love cigars. But you cannot and should not ever pretend to be a dentist. Yet, that’s exactly what Luz Angela Rios-Ossa did. Rios-Ossa was arrested by the Fort Lauderdale, Florida — sigh — police for operating a dental office without a license.
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Today In Terribleness: Florida Women Really Don’t Like It When You Mess With Their Food & Drink

The next time you head down to Tampa or Gainsville, keep this in mind: You do not want to mess with a Florida woman’s food or alcohol supply. Case in point, 51-year-old Kari Dangler, of Monroe County, Florida, pulled a handgun on her roommate after her vodka bottle went missing. Dangler’s male roommate hid the… More »


“That’s Not Drugs, That’s My Nipple,” Says Florida Woman

Thank you to Tiana Nicole Calandro of Delray Beach, Florida (yay!), for the arrest excuse of the day. When she was pulled over for speeding, police saw something protruding from her T-shirt pocket and asked what it was. “It’s my nipple,” Calandro responded.

“I advised her I knew what a nipple looked like… More »


Woman Draws A $1,240 Penis

Keying penises into the hoods or doors of automobiles is usually the sort of thing a jilted lover does. But not Natasha Myers, of Wesley Chapel, Florida. Natasha (pictured) is an all-purpose dick artist, willing to dick up your car for minor traffic violations, if need be.

Angered over a motorist who refused… More »


Today In Terribleness: Woman Claims To Have Four Dead Sons To Recieve Charity

Port Charlotte, Florida, woman Shirley Ann Duncan received a sentence of three years probation for faking the deaths of her four sons in order to receive financial aid from her local church. Duncan claimed that three of her sons had been killed in action in the Middle East, while a fourth was on the brink… More »


Today In Food Crimes: Man Arrested For Rubbing Pepperoni On His Salami — Plus A Pickle Attack!

Sometimes, when I’m deciding what to eat (or what not to eat) for lunch, I cruise for the latest food news for ideas. Last week, I told you about an uproar over lion tacos. Today, I stumbled upon some really strange food crimes. After the jump, a meat-on-meat masturbation mishap and a pickle attack! It’s… More »


Filomena “Phyllis” Tobias: What You Need To Know About The Crazy Miami Heat Fan Who Flipped Off Joakim Noah

Did you guys see this crazy picture of rabid Miami Heat fan Filomena “Phyllis” Tobias flipping off Chicago Bulls center Joakim Noah? It’s pretty crazy, right? Well not nearly as crazy as Phyllis’s back story. See, in 2008, she was accused of murdering her husband.

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A Penis In The Garbage Disposal & 9 Other Penis Attacks

Santa Ana, California, woman Catherine Kieu Becker got really mad at her husband Glen for having an “inappropriate relationship” with someone. So mad that she drugged him, tied him to a bed with nylon ropes, and using a 10-inch knife, cut off his penis. She then threw the penis down the garbage disposal and turned… More »


Macklemore Song Causes Assault & 12 Other Times Music Has Gotten Someone Arrested

Last week, Samantha Malson was arrested for pushing and chocking her boyfriend Lars Hansen after a drunk Hansen refused to stop singing the song “Thrift Shop” by Macklemore. Sure, “Thrift Shop” is a great song, but hearing anything over and over again is going to be annoying.

Poor Lars is hardly the only… More »


Today In Food Thefts: Man Steals $75,000 In Soup

The chicken wings were cute. The Muenster cheese? Adorable. Yesterday’s theft of seven palettes of Nutella? Well, okay. But come on people? Stealing an entire truckful of soup? Where is this going!? Eusebio Acosta of — where else? — Orlando, Florida, stole the truck, but didn’t get very far with it. He was arrested and… More »