Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods … and also, try not to bite thy neighbor’s penis. Jason Martin, 41, of Kent, U.K., has been found guilty of biting neighbor Richard Henderson’s penis, allegedly “like a sandwich,” during a scuffle over Martin’s loud music. Martin must have really given it his all, because the attacker has a mouth full of, uh, only one or two teeth. Henderson’s girlfriend delivered a text message to Martin regarding the volume on his Xbox, which led to a physical altercation that left Henderson in need of stitches due to a fatal combination of soft pajamas and a headlock. Martin denied the charges tooth and nail, telling prosecutors he had just grabbed “around” Mr. Henderson. “The thought of putting a man’s penis in my mouth… well, it’s not for me. Not in a million years would I do it,” he told the court. “It was just a rat bite. I just grabbed into an area. I didn’t realize at the time it was his testicles.” [Daily Mail] [Portrait of man with angry expression via Shutterstock]
Tag Archives: weird crime
Dear Kenneth Webster Enlow,
Now, I do love a man who goes after what he wants. Initiative is hot! Motivation is sexy! The problem, though, is that you wanted to be a peeping tom inside a septic tank in the women’s restroom at a public park. Keep reading »
If you’ve seen the show “Hoarders” then you can easily understand why anything, even a human body, could stay hidden for a very, very long time in the home of a hoarder. So, you know where this story is headed: James Nichols reported his wife, Jo Ann Nichols of Poughkeepsie, New York, missing in December of 1985 after she did not show up for a beauty parlor appointment. He told police that he received a typed note from his wife and then talked to her on the phone three days after he reported her as missing. Nichols also told police that he found his wife’s car parked at a local shopping mall. After searching his house, police determined that Mr. Nichols had not had anything to do with his wife’s disappearance.
Oh, did I mention the amount of stuff they had to wade through in that home? According to neighbors, Mr. Nichols was an intense hoarder. He even had several dumpsters in his backyard for extra storage. The police also probably thought it was safe to assume that this was not an episode of “CSI”and didn’t check (or even know about) his false wall in the basement where he was hiding his wife’s body. Keep reading »
Apparently, a crotch grab is the real way to a man’s heart — or to his nonexistent wallet. Two women in Seattle made a really, really poor robbery attempt after making a date with a man they casually seduced by grabbing his crotch.
According to police reports, the caretaker victim was helping a patient move out of his building when the two temptresses drove up, called him over, performed their subtle move, and set up a coffee date with him for the following day. Keep reading »
Looks like this guy wasn’t using his noodle.
Randy Zipperer, 49, is accused of stabbing his younger brother following an argument about missing macaroni and cheese.
A witness told deputies in Volusia County, Fla. that Randy and his brother, 47-year-old Edward Zipperer, started arguing over Randy’s missing macaroni and cheese, the Daytona Beach News-Journal reported. His younger brother helped him look, but during the mac-hunt, Edward knocked over a beer Randy had been drinking.
The spill allegedly made Randy even angrier, and deputies say he began waving around a knife that wound up inserted in his brother’s stomach. Read more on Huffington Post…
Hawaii’s Andrea Flegle was perturbed by the fact that the puppy she’d purchased for her daughter kept trying to sniff her daughter’s crotch. Not bothering to use common sense, or understand animals, or realize that this is basically a Thing That Dogs Do, Flegle did the only logical thing in her mind and slit the dog’s throat. After killing the dog for, let me remind you, sniffing her daughter’s crotch, Flegle called 911 to report that the animal was dead. She admitted that she killed the dog, and offered the crotch-sniffing as a plausible excuse.
“I tell to stop but not listen. I cannot control. I lost my temper, so I grabbed the dog and cut its throat,” read the 911 call transcript.
Flegle, who lives in Hawaii, was charged with animal cruelty in the third degree, which is a class C felony. If convicted, she could spend up to five years in prison. [Huffington Post]
Congratulations Andrea Flegle. In addition to needlessly and cruelly murdering an animal, you’ve also guaranteed your daughter hours and hours of therapy. News report of the incident after the jump. Keep reading »