This piece was cross-posted with permission from FatNutritionist.com. It was originally published before Thanksgiving but we are crossposting it here with the rest of the holiday season in mind.
It’s true, Thanksgiving is a weirdly imperialist semi-genocidal sort of holiday, but hey, at least we can enjoy the tradition of getting together with family and eating a bunch of mashed potatoes!
Or can we?
If some people’s relatives had their way, the answer would be a resounding HAHA, SUCKER! Because certain people exist only to make your food-eating life as a fat person (or a whatever-sized person) miserable.
So, here’s the thing: whether or not you are fat, you are the only person who gets to decide what food goes in your mouth, what tastes good, and how much of it makes you feel full and satisfied. No matter how many busybodies and dietary conspiracy theorists get in your face, you are still the only one who can decide. Keep reading »
Last thing about Paris and then I’ll shut up. I promise. Topic du jour: dessert. My trip made me realize that, for me, it is essential to have dessert with every meal.
This is not based on anything scientific whatsoever, just one sugar lover’s humble opinion after indulging in dessert with every meal for an entire week. I’m not exaggerating for the sake of comedic effect. I really ate 21 desserts while I was on vacay. There were a few factors which contributed to my sugar spree: I was traveling with a food critic who took me to all the finest easting establishments, it’s the French way, and of course, because I was on vacation so I was cutting lose. Keep reading »
Clothing mannequins are weird whichever way you spin it ― they’re headless! They’re probably watching you! ― but they’re something of a necessary evil in retail to display how featured articles of clothing hang on, well, a human body. Unfortunately, this “human body” is usually a pretty terrible representation of not only how the clothing looks on, but also an actual human body. Maybe a select demographic of those shopping at any given store have those kinds of dimensions, but the fact is that the vast majority of people don’t. You might know this already, but human beings come in all shapes and sizes, so the concept of a plus-sized mannequin in a plus-sized store has the potential to be a positive development. If it’s done correctly, that is. Keep reading »
Years ago, I had a conversation with a group of my close male friends and the age old question came up: Can men and women really be just friends? My boy Otto said, “No way! Guys always want to sleep with their female friends.” My friend Steve interjected, “Of course! I have a platonic female friends and I love them to death.” But then my friend Yorell said, “Yes, men can have platonic female friends, but only with women that are unattractive. If she’s pretty, there is no way you can be just her friend. That doesn’t mean it’s not a genuine friendship, but if you get the opportunity to smash, you will. Unless … she’s ugly.” Keep reading »
Recently, a friend of mine shared with me how unhappy she is with her body. I had been just fine with the way my body looks but once she suggested how she felt about herself, I began to notice an increase in my self-criticism. I felt a bit more plump in my yoga pants, watched more of what I ate, and wanted to start going to the gym. After reading about a new study, my newfound low opinion of my body is beginning to make sense; according to a new study done in the journal Sex Roles, criticism your friends place on their bodies can greatly influence the way you perceive your own. Keep reading »
“I read a comment on YouTube that I thought would upset me — ‘Test pilot for pies’ — but I’ve always been fine with it. I would only lose weight if it affected my health or sex life, which it doesn’t.”
– Adele responds to criticism about her weight in a new book, Adele: The Biography. Did you hear that, Karl Lagerfeld? OK. Good. Now that we’re clear about where Adele stands on her weight — she’s fine with it– I move that we stop talking about it forever. [Contact Music]
“In Hollywood, I’m obese. I’m considered a fat actress. I’m Val Kilmer in that one picture on the beach. … I’m never going to starve myself for a part. I keep waiting for that one role to come along that scares me enough into dieting, and it just can’t happen. I’m invincible. … I don’t want little girls to be like, ‘Oh, I want to look like Katniss, so I’m going to skip dinner.’ That’s something that I was really conscious of during training, when you’re trying to get your body to look exactly right. I was trying to get my body to look fit and strong, not thin and underfed.”
— Puh-lease, Jennifer Lawrence, you are one of the babeliest babes around. But I do get what she’s saying about being considered a “fat actress” — just as Romola Garai so eloquently noted, acting professions have become so intertwined with the fashion industry that actresses who don’t fit into the ever-dwindling sample size are an anomaly. And even more refreshingly, Jennifer doesn’t take the Kim Kardashian cop-out stance of, “I love my body and want to inspire other girls to love theirs, but also I’m working out three hours a day and trying really hard to lose weight.” I just get the feeling that she’s totally cool with herself the way she is. Love her! [Crushable]
Hark! Please stop what you’re doing and pay attention to this important celebrity diet news! An anonymous source told Now magazine that Kelly Osbourne is staying thin by eating food that is a different color than her plate. The technique theorizes that eating meals off a plate with a similar color may cause a person to eat up to 20 percent more. “Five months after Kelly started the plan the results are there for all to see. She thinks it’s amazing — she takes her plates everywhere. Unlike other fads, Kelly says this diet does help you lose weight and keep it off,” said the source.
OK. That’s all. You can go back to whatever you’re doing. I just got a kick out of the idea of Kelly Osbourne carrying around a variety of brightly-colored plates at all times. We can go back to talking about her $250,000 manicure, now. [Digital Spy]
Update, 3:40 p.m.: Ooof. We now hear via Just Jared that these quotes are supposedly fake. Christina’s rep has said she never made these comments to Billboard. We’ll keep you posted on this weird story. [Just Jared]
“During the promotion of my album ‘Stripped (in 2002), I got tired of being a skinny, white girl. I am Ecuadorian but people felt so safe passing me off as a skinny, blue-eyed white girl. The next time my label saw me, I was heavier, darker and full of piercings! Let me tell you, that wasn’t an easy pill for them to swallow. They called this serious emergency meeting about how there was a lot of backlash about my weight. Basically, they told me I would effect a lot of people if I gained weight – the production, musical directors. … I told (my label) during this ‘Lotus’ recording, ‘You are working with a fat girl. Know it now and get over it. They need a reminder sometimes that I don’t belong to them. It’s my body. My body can’t put anyone in jeopardy of not making money anymore — my body is just not on the table that way anymore.
– Christina Aguilera spoke to Billboard about her new album Lotus and hit on something that women in the music biz can be somewhat skittish (understandably) to discuss publicly: the way your body is part of your product as much as your voice. It’s always struck me as an unfair double standard. I mean, Cee Lo clearly is not getting called in and being told to drop some weight. And it’s especially dispiriting that a singer with a phenomenal voice like Christina Aguilera has to deal with that shite. Good for her for putting her foot down! Between this and Lady Gaga’s admission last week that’s she’s battled anorexia and bulimia, it’s really the week of pop stars speaking out — and we’ll all be better for it. [New York Daily News] [Photo: Splash News]
I was recently contacted through my website by a pregnant black woman who inquired about hiring me to perform standup at her baby shower. She and her husband were diehard comedy fans, and thought it would be fun to have a comic perform for their guests.
“How did you find me?” I asked. “I Googled ‘Fat Black Female Comics’ and you were one of the women that popped up!” she answered. “Everyone knows that fat black women are the funniest comics alive!”
After I hung up the phone, I sat there for a moment trying to figure out if I should be offended or not. While I understand that she was trying to be complimentary, I’m not sure if I am flattered by someone thinking that I am automatically funny just because I am plus-sized and black. Then I thought about the $1,500 she offered to pay me to stand in the middle of her living room and crack jokes for 30 minutes, and I instantly felt better. Throughout my career, I’ve been paid much less to do far worse. There was plenty of time for me to be offended later, but for now it was time to get paid!
Comedy is hard work, no matter what you look like. The perception that fat black women have an edge up, purely because of the size of their bodies, diminishes the amount of hard work, discipline and creativity that it takes for us to create this art form known as comedy. Furthermore, I think it’s crazy that someone would assume that all fat black women are funny.
On the other hand, I get it. Keep reading »