One summer during college when I worked at coffee shop, a man with special needs—I think he had Down’s Syndrome—used to come up by the cash register and chat with me all the time. We were shooting the breeze one day and I was standing with my pelvis leaning against the counter, sort of slumped forward. He looked down at my stomach and asked me, “Jessica, are you pregnant?” My eyes widened and I stood ramrod straight, sucking in my belly. “Nooo! I’m not pregnant!” I shrieked. His face flushed with embarrassment and he apologized profusely. And I, of course, felt like an ass for making him feel bad.
Flash forward to Sunday afternoon on a shopping trip to Sephora, when the cashier ringing up my Bliss Spa Best Of Skintentions moisturizer looked down at my stomach and exclaimed, “Awww, are you pregnant?”
Cringe. Keep reading »
Rent, don’t buy, ladies! Why is everyone always in such a huge rush to buy, buy, buy, anyway? It’s like once you own your own place you are one of the anointed few in adulthood. Well, a study out of University of Pennsylvania’s Wharton School will make you rethink your down-payment savings plan: Researchers found that women who own their home weigh 12 pounds more on average than women who rent. Keep reading »
When I heard a few months ago that pop star Jessica Simpson was considering a reality TV show about “real beauty,” I was thrilled. Finally! A celeb who sought to use the negative press attention towards her and spin it a positive way! In the wake of the offensive tabloid lynch mob over Simpson’s “mom jeans” weight gain, taking the high road seemed like a classy thing to do.
The details of said show are finally out: in a docu-series called “The Price of Beauty” for VH1, Simpson will travel around the world speaking to women about the lengths they go to to achieve physical perfection, including their diets, clothes and beauty regimens.
It does sounds like a cool premise for a TV program. But when I read Jessica’s statement regarding her show, I came to my senses about just who the feel-good, body-positive “messenger” is. Keep reading »
Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear.
Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair.
Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn’t fuzzy…was he?
Why can I still recite this nursery rhyme by heart even though I’m 25-years-old now?
Because I have hairy arms and my mom unwittingly drilled the rhyme into my head by teasing me about being her little “fuzzy wuzzy.” Yeah, kids remember what their parents said to them. I’m a testament to that.
But even I thought the Babble.com advice columnists who discouraged a lady against calling her toddler “Chubby Chubs” and “Greedy Guts” were overreacting. Keep reading »
I have no idea how much my own weight has fluctuated in the past couple of years, but I can tell you all about Kirstie Alley’s rides on the bathroom scale. And Melissa Joan Hart’s. And Britney’s and Kelly Clarkson’s and…well, you get the idea. A girl can’t grocery shop without 42-point font headlines screaming about another celeb’s double digit weight loss.
The problem isn’t just opportunistic tabloid editors making a quick buck. As Times‘ Sunday Styles section pointed out, the “Ass Size Ad Nauseum” problem is not so simple. No, some celebs are more than happy to tell us all about their jiggly parts. Keep reading »
Kirstie Alley was a hot mess on Oprah yesterday, dishing about her “humiliating” weight gain after she appeared on the show in 2006 in a bikini. She told Oprah that her weight started ballooning after she moved her gym equipment into her garage and turned the empty space into a dining room. Hmm … Maybe not the smartest move, Kirstie. When asked how she felt after seeing Valerie Bertinelli, Kirstie’s replacement as a Jenny Craig celebrity spokesperson, in a bikini on the cover of People a few weeks ago, Kirstie responded that she was inspired to lose weight and beat her. Oprah reminded her that being in shape isn’t a competition, and Kirstie replied: “That’s what people say when they’re gaining weight.” She also told Oprah that she has created her own weight loss program and has lost 20 pounds in the last five weeks. Opes was understandably skeptical and said, “Twenty pounds in five weeks? How did you do that?” To which Kirstie replied with a smirk, “I’ll tell you later.” Oprah, I’m sure, can’t wait to hear all about it. When Kirstie announced that she plans to be in ripped shape by November, just six months from now, Oprah looked her up and down and said she couldn’t let her make an announcement like that on national TV. “OK, fine,” Kirstie replied, “February, then.” (And, of course, you can follow her success on Twitter). So, there you have it, folks. Expect a major weight loss to coincide with the launch of Kirstie’s new magical program sometime early next year. Yo-yo dieting: it’s not a PR move, it’s a lifestyle. Keep reading »
Over the past few months, Kate Moss’ body has been changing, and everyone, including Kate, has noticed. Back in February, Kate told New York that her body was finally developing. “I am a woman now! It’s true. No, honestly, I’ve never worn a bra in my life. Ever! It’s so awful, even my friends are phoning me up and saying Are you pregnant?’ And I’m like, ‘No! I just put on a couple of pounds, and they went in the right place.’” At the Topshop opening in New York last month, photos of Kate in a clingy green dress made us wonder again: Is Kate pregnant, or is she putting on more weight? Keep reading »
Men with libido problems might find themselves taking food fetishes one step further. A new study from the National Academy of Sciences finds that the scent of rotten eggs can have the same effects of Viagra on men. It turns out that the smell, hydrogen sulphide, is released in small amounts from a guy’s penis through nerve cells. We can see it now — Eau des Oeufs Outréfiés by Dior.
What doesn’t turn him on? Being a fatty. Researchers have discovered that excessive weight relates to lower testosterone levels. (Although we have to question if overweight men just have a harder go at it in finding mates, and eventually get used to a life without sex. Sad!) But not to worry! A little gastric bypass surgery can turn men back into love machines, as participants in the study reported better sex lives post-op. Keep reading »