Andrea is taking a much needed week off from her Hitched column this week, after spending the last few days reporting live from the Texas State Legislature as they attempted to rid the state of nearly all its clinics that provide abortions. (Thanks to Senator Wendy Davis and the rest of the “feminist army,” they failed.) So this week, I’m rerunning one of Andrea’s first Hitched columns, originally published on November 2, 2011.
Wedding dress shopping. Here’s what happens to me: I walk into a bridal salon and tell the nice maternal saleswoman that I want a tea-length gown with no flowery accents. I am ushered into a dressing room where I am told that they have one tea length gown, it is covered in flowers, and did I want to try on, say, this $1,500 satin gown with a 14-foot train? For funsies? Repeat nine times. Nine. Nine.
“This is your one chance to be a princess!” one saleswoman told me. When I explained to her that my “princess” vision actually, like, seriously really did include a tea-length dress and she was just going to have to see if she could manage to wrap her mind around that, this total stranger looked at me like I had just shot her kitten point-blank in the face in the middle of the dress shop.
So, I went to the custom dressmaker. I told her what I wanted. She said she could totally do that, but she wouldn’t start the dress until next year, even though we’re getting married in April. Why?
“So you have time to get your weight where you want it.” Keep reading »
You would think an open bar at a wedding would be the perfect way to liven up the crowd and get everyone’s dancing shoes movin’, but not for this unfortunate bride. One of her guests was bathing in booze. In this video, a red-dressed beauty gets bombed and a bit too comfortable with her makeshift pole. I have a feeling that the bride hasn’t spoken to her since the big day. [via YouTube]
Update: It’s been brought to our attention that this video was made as part of Heineken’s Know The Signs campaign.
Lest you think this couple were married by a wild tiger who’d somehow gotten ordained online, this photobombing feline is safely behind glass. Groom Andrew Madgwick and his bride Karma posed for wedding photos at the Paigton Zoo in Devon, England, and happened to snap a photo the very second the zoo’s Sumatran tiger Banda walked into the shot. “One of the tigers was sunbathing on the ledge when Karma shook her dress and caught its attention,” said Vicki Boulter, one of the couple’s photographers. “All of a sudden it came bounding over and right into the shot. He posed for a split second and walked away. Karma and Andrew didn’t realize the tiger had come so close. But they were delighted when they saw the photo.” [Express]
Meet Rainbeau Mars. Yes, Rainbeau. Rainbeau, who is a “health guru” to the stars, is getting married to Hollywood business manager Michael Karlin in Kauai, Hawaii, and it sounds like her guests are in for quite a treat — over the course of the three-day affair, they’ll be able to take yoga classes, and ride horses, and practice their “breath work.” Sounds totally new-agey but whatever, I don’t judge. JUST KIDDING, some things I do judge, like the fact that Rainbeau’s wedding guests — which apparently include Joan and Melissa Rivers — are also expected to do a special cleanse for three weeks in advance of attending. According to an email sent by her publicist:
Rainbeau hopes that by requesting her guests try out a vegan, and subsequently live food diet for 21 days, everyone will look and feel their best for HER big day. Keep reading »
Looking for a classic wedding band that will also help prevent a “You forgot, didn’t you?” fight on your anniversary every year for all eternity? You might want to check out Alaska Jewelry’s new Remember Ring, which includes a small heating element that heats to 120 degrees 24 hours before your anniversary. It’s like a string tied around your finger, except it hurts (well, according to the company, the ring gets “hot enough to cause discomfort but not hot enough to burn”). If that first flare-up is not enough to jog your memory, the ring continues heating every hour on the hour for the rest of the day, which gives you plenty of time to get to the florist and buy a bouquet. This annual burning reminder of your love doesn’t come cheap: a Remember Ring will set you back $760, but hey, it’s a small price to pay for marital bliss, right? [psfk]