It all started with wedding picks.
I was cruising a wedding decorations website looking for garlands and lanterns when I came across something called “wedding picks.” What are wedding picks, you ask? Unclear. Are they toothpicks that go in your pigs in a blanket at the reception? Doodads for your bridal bouquet? Who knows — they seem oddly all-purpose. And yet the Wedding Industrial Complex has convinced people we need them.
Wedding picks aren’t the only bizarre wedding crap I found online — there’s enough WTF decorations and disconcertingly intimate gifts to make “Platinum Weddings” look tasteful. I poked around a bit and here are the 14 pieces of weird wedding crap that I could find.
Many modern brides can’t imagine planning a wedding without Pinterest. They can gleefully pin every detail of their romantic union, from quirky announcements to wedding hairstyles to retro appetizers to the engraved mason jar favors, but as Lexi Petronis recently mentioned over at Glamour‘s Save The Date blog, wedding photographers are not as excited about Pinterest as most of their clients are; in fact, a growing number of photographers rue the day Pinterest was invented. The reason? Well, it turns out many brides aren’t using Pinterest for wedding photo inspiration, they’re simply sending their photographers links of other people’s wedding photos and saying, “This is exactly what I want.”
And if you’ve ever worked as a photographer or tried to recreate someone else’s photo, you know that attitude can be, well, problematic… Keep reading »
Most people feel less conflicted about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan than they do about buying anything, anything at J.Crew. The land of the $49.50 T-shirt is a land most of us can only afford to visit — if we can even control our rageface at their excruciatingly painful combination of cute clothes and obscene prices. If your blood pressure is a little wonky, don’t continue reading: the J.Crew bridal department is now selling a $750 sequined romper. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a gorgeous white sequined romper that would look hella cute at a wedding after-party. But SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS. That’s practically one month of my rent. For a romper. A bridal romper. A dry-clean only bridal romper. As if peeing in your wedding dress isn’t difficult enough! Sit with that for a minute. (P.S. J.Crew Factory 4 Eva!) [J.Crew]
That awkward moment when you stand up as the bride starts walking down the aisle, expecting a weepy wedding processional, and instead she bumps and grinds her way through “Crazy Bitch,” a Buckcherry song that was on the “National Lampoon’s Van Wilder” movie soundtrack. Keep reading »
When Amanda, from Kent, Washington, began sobbing on the phone to a 911 dispatcher named Candice about her wedding dress that had been stolen on her wedding day, Candice knew she had to help. Keep reading »
Six bridesmaids seems like a lot. Eight? Ten? Twelve? Now you’re really pushing it. But no bride in the history of pushing it has pushed it quite like Katie Dalby, 26, of the UK, who married with 80 bridesmaids by her side. Eighty. Eight-zero. Keep reading »