I’ve never had a wedding. I’ve never planned a wedding. I’ve never even helped plan a wedding. But, as a 30-something, I’ve been attending weddings regularly for the last decade and I think it’s time for me tell about-to-tie-the-knot couples the truth: the things your guests care about (open bar! music!) and the details you’re stressing over (favors! the selected reading at your ceremony!) are completely different. If you were considering making your guests pay for drinks, may I recommend that you skip the embossed matchbooks and focus on what’s important here: ENDLESS CHAMPAGNE. Not that the wedding is for the guests, but just in case you were wondering, here are some things your guests will/won’t remember about your big day: Keep reading »
Had Patrick and I enjoyed the luxury of a gigantor wedding budget, there are some things that we did not get to have at our wedding but which we would have liked to have had. For me: a photo booth, more chairs, a custom dress. For Patrick: a second photographer, a videographer, a soft serve ice cream machine, a llama.
Yes, like a real, live, breathing and huffing llama. But only at the reception — obviously it’d be a distraction to bring in a domesticated South American camelid for the ceremony.
“It speaks to things for people to do, many more things to make it fun for people,” Patrick explained, intent on convincing Hitched readers that he’s not secretly a third-grader. “Like a photo booth.”
But a llama rental probably would have doubled our $5,000 budget. So no llamas for us. And as it turns out, we managed to power through it and get married without one. Keep reading »
Bay County, Florida, police officer Rad Nelson wanted to propose to his girlfriend Elizabeth Cook, so he called 911. You see, Cook is a dispatcher with the Bay County emergency system, and Nelson knew she’d be on the job. Around 3:30 in the morning, he dialed 911 and asked her to transfer over to a “talk” channel (presumably so as not to tie up the emergency line). From there, he professed, “Elizabeth Ann Cook from the bottom of my heart and the depths of my soul I want to ask you, will you marry me?” The stunned Cook said yes, with strangers on the talk channel listening in.
Keep reading »
More and more couples are eschewing the pomp and circumstance of big weddings in favor of getting married at City Hall. City Hall weddings are super affordable (most often costing between $40 and $100), and are a quick and easy way to get hitched without spending a lot of time or money on a big production. What should you do if you want to get married at your local City Hall? Make an appointment ahead of time, be prompt, bring cash, and don’t forget your rings.
As for what to wear? We’ve got that all figured out for you. City Hall weddings are certainly a less formal alternative to a big wedding, but that doesn’t mean you can’t look nice. After the jump, 11 dresses to wear to your City Hall wedding.
My parents got divorced when I was almost too young to remember. I carry only brief images of the time surrounding their divorce. My mother, in a red dress with polka dots, kneeling down to meet me at my level as I squirm in a chair, legs swinging above the floor. “I’m going away for a little bit,” she says. “I’ll see you soon.” Our new house in New York is full of books and my grandma is there and my father stretches the phone cord taut so he can sit on the steps to the basement and argue with my mother in California, 3000 miles away.
The details of the event were unusual for the late 1980s. The court granted primary custody to my father — we’d spend summers in California and live in New York for the school year. My primary memory of family growing up is as a unit of three — father, sister, me. Our trio was strong, it was unshakeable, and my sister and I adapted to an early independence. We did our own laundry, heated up our Kid Cuisine dinners in the microwave while our father worked late and made annual trips to the West Coast every summer to visit our mom. Our household was just as functional as that of any two-parent household. We trotted off to school each morning with combed hair, brushed teeth and all of our belongings.
I grew up into a independent, self-sufficient and confident adult, a woman who would much rather do it myself than wait on someone else to understand what needs to be done, a woman who is okay with the idea of potentially spending a life not married — not because no one would have me, but because I like it that way. Alone. Keep reading »
I don’t know what’s better — this obviously Photoshopped photo of a dinosaur attacking some random wedding party? Or the nerdy comments on Reddit about the T-Rex: “Their eyesight is based on movement. 2nd girl on the left will be the only survivor.” [Uproxx via Reddit]
Wedding season is kind of the best. I gladly welcome any excuse to put on a fancy dress, throw on some lipstick and toast the merry union of two souls, united in common interests, rooted in love. Weddings exist on a plane where everything is heightened, cast in a rosy glow fueled by champagne and cake and the joy of others. Every song is your song, in every conversation you are charming and witty, and, after a while, everyone — and I mean everyone — looks like a prime candidate for a clandestine makeout sesh over in the corner by the photo booth. Before you slink over to the target in your crosshairs, check yourself. Let us help you. Follow this guide, and you should be golden. Keep reading »
One of my friends is going to a wedding this summer, and the bride and groom are asking their guests to buy them gold bars, since they already have literally every other thing two people in the world could possibly need. Besides gold bars.
Gold Bars. Gold. Bars. Gold bars at (I understand the price fluctuates, but) $1,421.99. Unless, you know, you want to buy in bulk. Then you can get them for a steal at $1,411.99.
I think now is as good a time as any to talk about weddings you can’t afford to attend. Keep reading »
If you’re planning a summer wedding, you may now be where I once was, just a few weeks before my nuptials: at the bar.
I was tired of making decisions. I was tired of caring about details. I was tired of answering questions. I was tired of worrying. Planning a big-ass event is hard. Planning one that’s supposed to be the Greatest Day Of Your Life Ever Or Else Your Existence As A Whole Is A Poorly Executed Sham And Everybody Knows It is especially hard, and you don’t have to have purchased stock in Wedding Industrial Complex, Inc. to be worried about it.
So I’m going to tell you a true thing that good people told me. Something I knew intellectually to be true, but something I found emotionally hard to wrap my mind around:
There are two kinds of people who seriously care about your wedding. One of those kinds of people is you and, ideally, the person you’re about to commit your forever life to. The other kind of person is an asshole. Keep reading »
Mama June painted her old barn, wiggled her vajiggle jaggle into a beautimous, camouflage gown and tucked her forklift foot into some bedazzled sneakers for a ceremony of some sort this weekend. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she and Sugar Bear got hitched. But they don’t normally have bouncy houses and serve sketti at weddings, do they? You can check it out the highlights of the big event for yourself and see what you think. I believe a mazel tov is in order.