Let’s be honest, being on both sides of the bridesmaid game can be super annoying. It’s hard to say no when a friend asks you to be part of her special day and before you’ve even marked the date on your calendar, you’ve been asked to spend $1,000 on an awful burgundy dress and gold heels that you’ll never, ever wear again. On the bride’s side, I can only imagine that it must be irritating to have bitches whining and moaning about having to get their nails polished Ballet Slipper pink and the other, long list of simple list of requirements you’ve given them.
Fuck it all! Simplify everyone’s life by getting a bridesmaid who doesn’t need dress, who never talks back and who doesn’t need to be taught how to keep pace when walking down the aisle.
Bride Alex Wells got it right when she asked her thoroughbred horse Toffee to be her bridesmaid. Keep reading »
Healthy people aren’t just the happy ones — they’re now the married ones. And if you thought that a significant other was more woe than it was worth, turns out you were painfully mistaken because a mate won’t just keep you happy; they’ll keep you living longer, too. Read more at Your Tango…
Why stop at engagement photos that look like you’ve been murdered by Jason from “Friday The 13th”? One Austin, Texas couple wed at the Alamo Drafthouse and served their guests this macabre wedding cake depicting baked versions of the bride and groom’s severed heads and a banner reading “Til Death Do Us Part.” Um … think of something nice to say, think of something nice to say … that’s some skilled frosting artisanship right there. I’m sure Grammy and Poppa loved it. [Austinist] [Image via Austinist]
Miss Independent is a happily married woman now! Kelly Clarkson got hitched to talent manager Brandon Blackstock this weekend during a picturesque countryside ceremony in Tennessee. Today, she’s sharing the couple’s wedding video, which shows the songstress and her hubby dancing, kissing, laughing and just being the cutest newlyweds. You get a closer look at her Temperley wedding gown, too! At the very end, the signature “Brandon & Kelly Blackstock” passes across the screen — she took her husband’s name! We’re so happy for you, Kelly. Keep on being adorable. [Eonline]
If brides were to toss kittens into the crowd for all the single ladiez, I would actually make an effort to grab it. Bouquets, on the other hand, are best handled with a subtle side-step away from whatever direction they’re going in. No cats were harmed in the making of this meme, but it does serve as additional evidence in the case for Photoshopping a cat into every picture ever. So much better! [Brides Throwing Cats]
If you are a bride, you pose for a lot of photos.
You pose for photos to announce your engagement. You pose for photos at your bachelorette party. You pose for photos at your shower. You pose for photos with your groom-to-be, and with your best friends, and with your family, and with your parents, and then more with your groom. You pose for a lot of photos by yourself, looking happy.
It’s a good time to be photographed, of course. Most of the time, you won’t be able to stop smiling. You’re about to legally bind yourself to the person you love and want to have sex with forever and ever. And someone’s going to give you a really dope food processor as a wedding gift. What’s not to smile about?
It’s also a time that you, as a bride, will become very, very self-conscious of your body. Because as a bride, everything about how you look is going to be on display. Keep reading »