More and more couples are eschewing the pomp and circumstance of big weddings in favor of getting married at City Hall. City Hall weddings are super affordable (most often costing between $40 and $100), and are a quick and easy way to get hitched without spending a lot of time or money on a big… More »
My parents got divorced when I was almost too young to remember. I carry only brief images of the time surrounding their divorce. My mother, in a red dress with polka dots, kneeling down to meet me at my level as I squirm in a chair, legs swinging above the floor. “I’m going away for… More »
I don’t know what’s better — this obviously Photoshopped photo of a dinosaur attacking some random wedding party? Or the nerdy comments on Reddit about the T-Rex: “Their eyesight is based on movement. 2nd girl on the left will be the only survivor.” [Uproxx via Reddit] … More »
Wedding season is kind of the best. I gladly welcome any excuse to put on a fancy dress, throw on some lipstick and toast the merry union of two souls, united in common interests, rooted in love. Weddings exist on a plane where everything is heightened, cast in a rosy glow fueled by champagne and… More »
One of my friends is going to a wedding this summer, and the bride and groom are asking their guests to buy them gold bars, since they already have literally every other thing two people in the world could possibly need. Besides gold bars.
Gold Bars. Gold. Bars. Gold bars at (I understand… More »
If you’re planning a summer wedding, you may now be where I once was, just a few weeks before my nuptials: at the bar.
I was tired of making decisions. I was tired of caring about details. I was tired of answering questions. I was tired of worrying. Planning a big-ass event is… More »
Mama June painted her old barn, wiggled her vajiggle jaggle into a beautimous, camouflage gown and tucked her forklift foot into some bedazzled sneakers for a ceremony of some sort this weekend. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say she and Sugar Bear got hitched. But they don’t normally have bouncy houses and serve… More »
How about this: unless you’re speaking to a person who is literally about to walk down an aisle to an altar at which they will proceed to exchange vows of lifelong love to another human being, don’t tell them they’re “next” to get married.
That’s what a friend of mine’s sister told her… More »
Please don’t have a million people in your wedding party.
There, I said it. I know you are the most popular and lovable person who ever lived, and you don’t want to exclude anyone, not even your sixth cousin because your fifth cousin is totally going to throw a fit, but I think… More »
Yesterday in Austin, Texas, a city I’m very proud to call home, 250 people gathered on the south steps of the state capitol for a nice round of bigoted back-patting, peppered with lines like this, from state senator Donna Campbell: “They want to redefine marriage between a natural man and natural woman the same way… More »
A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a tongue-in-cheek checklist from the Wedding Industrial Complex to all the brides out there who are doing weddings wrong, and who will no doubt regret their many wedding-related sins forever.
But seriously folks: I have some regrets about our wedding.
Not the but-what-does-it-all-mean kind… More »
Tumblr and Pinterest have given us so many wedding inspirations. If whimsy is your thing, I’ve got some tips for you. They may be old hat by now, but if it’s what you want, go for it. You rock those bridal antlers. I want to have my wedding at Arby’s so what the hell do… More »
I am attending a wedding at the end of the month in D.C. I am having a lot of trouble finding a reasonably priced petite dress to wear. This time of the year a lot of dress have stripes, polka dots, flowers, or are neon. The wedding ceremony starts at 3pm, so I need something… More »
Before I dive into the particulars of an 8-year-old getting wed to a 61-year-old, I ask you to consider under what circumstances a wedding of this sort might be appropriate. So far, I’ve come up with … NONE.
But according to the groom, Sanele Masilela of Tshwane, South Africa, (I can’t believe I’m… More »
National Proposal Day — a made up holiday encouraging boyfriends and girlfriends everywhere to stop getting the milk for free and actually buy the horse or whatever. Created by somebody named John Michael O’Loughlin, “Proposal Day is not meant to be used to propose marriage to a person you don’t know very well,” he cautions. More »
Hey, heterosexual ladies, the only people who matter when it comes to weddings! Gearing up for your big day this summer? Here’s a handy checklist of things essential to a great wedding day, to make sure everything is as perfect as possible or everything in your life will be meaningless.
Do you have… More »
Shortly after Patrick and I got engaged, my mom called with a request that was so cute, I didn’t know what to say: “The ladies at church want to throw you a bridal shower.”
The “ladies” in question were women who had watched me grow up in our small-town Methodist church, with whose… More »
Because true love means never having to say you’re sorry, or, you know, justifying your weird obsession with the children’s movie “Shrek,” Jersey (as in Isle of Jersey, not the state) couple Paul and Heidi Bellas got married as Shrek and Fiona from “Shrek.”
The pair got the idea–and presumably the buckets of… More »
I’ve seen “Muppets Take Manhattan” more than 50 times. Maybe more than 100. I can recite most of the dialogue by heart and know the lyrics to every song. Sometimes I open my window and scream, “Do you hear that, New York? I’m gonna be on Broadway!” If you know the movie as encyclopedically as… More »
You can read wedding magazines, and wedding blogs, and wedding everything, but you’ll almost never turn the page and see the marriage. Everything stops in a last, beautiful moment, blurred by sparklers or bubbles or birdseed as the (inevitably white, inevitably young, inevitably thin, inevitably straight) couple disappears into the back of a limousine, a… More »