It all started with wedding picks.
I was cruising a wedding decorations website looking for garlands and lanterns when I came across something called “wedding picks.” What are wedding picks, you ask? Unclear. Are they toothpicks that go in your pigs in a blanket at the reception? Doodads for your bridal bouquet? Who knows — they seem oddly all-purpose. And yet the Wedding Industrial Complex has convinced people we need them.
Wedding picks aren’t the only bizarre wedding crap I found online — there’s enough WTF decorations and disconcertingly intimate gifts to make “Platinum Weddings” look tasteful. I poked around a bit and here are the 14 pieces of weird wedding crap that I could find.
Many modern brides can’t imagine planning a wedding without Pinterest. They can gleefully pin every detail of their romantic union, from quirky announcements to wedding hairstyles to retro appetizers to the engraved mason jar favors, but as Lexi Petronis recently mentioned over at Glamour‘s Save The Date blog, wedding photographers are not as excited about Pinterest as most of their clients are; in fact, a growing number of photographers rue the day Pinterest was invented. The reason? Well, it turns out many brides aren’t using Pinterest for wedding photo inspiration, they’re simply sending their photographers links of other people’s wedding photos and saying, “This is exactly what I want.”
And if you’ve ever worked as a photographer or tried to recreate someone else’s photo, you know that attitude can be, well, problematic… Keep reading »
Most people feel less conflicted about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan than they do about buying anything, anything at J.Crew. The land of the $49.50 T-shirt is a land most of us can only afford to visit — if we can even control our rageface at their excruciatingly painful combination of cute clothes and obscene prices. If your blood pressure is a little wonky, don’t continue reading: the J.Crew bridal department is now selling a $750 sequined romper. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a gorgeous white sequined romper that would look hella cute at a wedding after-party. But SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS. That’s practically one month of my rent. For a romper. A bridal romper. A dry-clean only bridal romper. As if peeing in your wedding dress isn’t difficult enough! Sit with that for a minute. (P.S. J.Crew Factory 4 Eva!) [J.Crew]
That awkward moment when you stand up as the bride starts walking down the aisle, expecting a weepy wedding processional, and instead she bumps and grinds her way through “Crazy Bitch,” a Buckcherry song that was on the “National Lampoon’s Van Wilder” movie soundtrack. Keep reading »
When Amanda, from Kent, Washington, began sobbing on the phone to a 911 dispatcher named Candice about her wedding dress that had been stolen on her wedding day, Candice knew she had to help. Keep reading »
Six bridesmaids seems like a lot. Eight? Ten? Twelve? Now you’re really pushing it. But no bride in the history of pushing it has pushed it quite like Katie Dalby, 26, of the UK, who married with 80 bridesmaids by her side. Eighty. Eight-zero. Keep reading »
Kadie Walsh and Dake Schmidt are both super outdoorsy people who make their living as fishing guides in Alaska. When they decided to get married, it was obvious right off the bat that a traditional church wedding wasn’t an option. Instead, these adventurers held their ceremony where they felt most comfortable: in the middle of the Buskin River in Kodiak, Alaska. The bride wore a lovely white dress; the groom wore waders. A salmon theme ran throughout the ceremony and reception, with the entire bridal party holding floral-accented fishing poles, and of course, the couple caught their own pair of fish to celebrate the occasion. After the jump, check out a picture of the soggy bridesmaids, the first kiss, and their first catch as a married couple! Keep reading »
I don’t know what it is, but bachelorette parties have a knack for bringing out the very worst in women. Inevitably, we all have different viewpoints on the ritual (some of us are pumped to wear penis hats and some of us aren’t), we have various amounts we can and will spend to celebrate our bride friend (anywhere from $50 to $5,000, depending on our disposable income) and we have varying degrees of comfortability with group activities (some of us OMG LUV IT! and some would rather drink Drano).
If you’ve ever been on a bachelorette party planning email chain, then you probably had one of three reactions. You were either: 1) the person planning the bachelorette party and therefore super enthusiastic about it and prone to using tons of caps, emails and text speak, 2) the hater who had to remind everyone that you don’t have an extra $5K lying around to do a weekend jaunt to Paris, or 3) the silent bystander left wishing she was never on the email chain in the first place. To make matters worse, we tend to be loathe to say these things directly because of our concern about being nice, which makes the endless stream of emails a virtual pass-aggro, power jockeying shit show. Michelle Markowitz and Caroline Moss perfectly capture the essence of how a typical bachelorette party planning email chain goes down. Even though they’re not real, they could be. It’s almost like they’ve been through the process before. I’m sure they have. After the jump, just one of the imagined responses to “Ali”‘s email above. [The Toast] Keep reading »
Listen up, potential wedding guests. You’re gonna wanna come to our wedding, okay? The Kerr and Solano clans are a lot of fun. But guys, we are going to need a headcount, so that we can make sure we have enough booze and snacks for all y’all. So kindly make it your beeswax to fill out this RSVP card and let us know whether you’ll be partying with us or if you’re gonna be totally lame. In case you can’t read the small print, we’ve helpfully enlarged the card, after the jump! [Reddit] Keep reading »
The Photoshopped wedding picture trend is showing no signs of slowing, and I, for one, am pretty happy about that. After seeing a wedding party being chased by a fearsome T-Rex and an engaged couple doing battle with a rogue zombie, it was only a matter of time before “Star Wars” entered the mix. Here we have newlyweds Mindy and John (along with their maid of honor and best man) facing down a group of AT-ATs making their way across Lake Michigan, courtesy of ridiculously talented photo editor Steven Kowalski. As I’ve always suspected, a lightsaber is the perfect wedding day accessory. [When Geeks Wed via Neatorama]