In my mid-twenties, I came out as a lesbian. But the hardest part wasn’t even coming out: it was realizing my wedding would be different and therefore I was different. It took me a few years to come to terms with the fact that my wedding wouldn’t have a groom or any of the other stuff that goes along with heterosexual weddings.
A few months ago, my girlfriend of three years proposed. A couple of weeks after we got engaged, Chriss told me she was thinking about converting to Judaism. So as we started planning our wedding, we began attending synagogue together and Chriss enrolled in an Introduction to Judaism class. When we became full-fledged members of our synagogue and reserved the chapel for our wedding it dawned on me: I have no idea what a lesbian Jewish wedding would look like. Keep reading »
Wouldn’t you feel like shit, and wouldn’t I look like a jerk, if I sat around with this huge pile of adorable kittens and was all, “Oh man, my pile of adorable kittens is so great, I can’t get over how wonderful this pile of adorable kittens is, how can you not have a pile of adorable kittens like my awesome pile of adorable kittens and think you will ever be happy the way that I am with this pile of adorable kittens!?”
Because sure, kittens seem great and all, but maybe your landlord won’t let you have a cat, or you can’t afford one right now, or you are allergic and have to find a special hypoallergenic one or you don’t really want to scoop cat shit every day or maybe you are just more of a dog person. There are all kinds of reasons to not have a pile of adorable kittens, adorable as they may be.
Now, pretend we’re talking about marriage and single women instead of piles of adorable kittens. (But if you want, you can still check out some piles of kittens.) Keep reading »
Patrick and I totally got married because our friends were doing it. We didn’t do it only because our friends were doing it, or because our friends were going to stop sitting next to us in the lunchroom if we didn’t do it. But I’m pleased as punch to say that when it comes to marriage, we had some fine peer-couple role models to look to.
Call it “peer pressure” if you want. We watched happy people around us get happier when they found forever partners and married them. We wanted to emulate them because we believed we had the reasonable tools to be able to do so: love, respect, shared values and life goals. I feel strongly that if I had had a lot of negative marital role models in my life, I’d have been far more circumspect in my approach to marriage. It’s only reasonable to use the information you have to make decisions about what you’d like to do with your life. Keep reading »
Look, as the wedding industrial complex has no doubt told us all since we were in the womb, weddings are lady people’s One Very Special Day. So by all means, if you want to blow your wad on a pair of kicks from Ugg’s Bridal Collection, go crazy. But don’t think for one second I am not going to judge the ever living hell out of you. Uggs wants you to walk down the aisle in these crappers — you and your bridesmaids. But if you do, I’m going to assume that you really wanted to be on the show “Bridezilla,” and that you’re probably some kind of half woman-half monster chimera. Just saying. [BrideFinds]
As someone who is some small percentage Gypsy (my mother swears we’re Russian from the Caucaucus mountains), I’m more than a little bit fascinated by Gypsy culture. I’ve watched the UK version of “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding” and have been blown away by the elaborate wedding ceremonies Gypsy families participate in, passing off their often very young daughters into marriage. Gypsy communities seem to be tightly knit and in some ways highly traditional (despite the short skirts that many of the young women wear to their friend’s weddings, Gypsy girls are expected to remain very, very chaste until marriage.)
Gypsies aren’t just a European phenomenon, either. A new TLC series documents the similar Gypsy culture in the U.S. — a people who also fight against immense prejudice and stereotypes, who love fiercely and who really seem to love a big, froofry, extravagant wedding dress. Check out the American version of “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding” on Sunday nights at 10 pm EST, and check out some of the girl’s wild dresses here.
Once upon a time, there was a Texas girl who loved and adored her mother, but also respected and feared her. The Texan girl didn’t always see eye-to-eye with her mother, but even in the worst of times, her mother had always been there with the love and support she needed. The Texan girl always wanted to make her mother happy.
So the Texan girl didn’t know what she would do when the Texan girl got engaged and didn’t plan to have the church-sanctioned, decorous affair she expected her mother would want for her.
And then the Texan girl got tired of talking about herself in the third person.
My mom is a brilliant and intimidating person, and she’s also very shy. She’s great at math and was a star athlete in her day. I’m a people-pleaser and an unrepentant extrovert, have made my living as a writer and do well to play right field in co-ed softball. Which means that once we stopped sharing bodily fluids roundabouts November 9, 1983, we’ve been about as different as two people can be. Keep reading »
“One of my dearest friends is getting married in a few months and she’s asked me to be a bridesmaid. Super! However, she had requested that the bridesmaids wear some kind of brown suit instead of the usual dress. Now, while I really appreciate her originality and desire for us girls to be able to use our outfits again later (and really actually use them), I have been having the hardest time finding something cute, appropriate, and cool enough to be worn in Texas in July. We can choose pants, skirts, maybe even some tailored shorts in any shade of brown.” – Brown Frown
First off, you must be a really good friend, because that is a really ungodly bad color scheme to go with for a wedding. You’re fighting against two difficulties here: 1) The color and 2) the heat. So it’s imperative that if you’re being told to wear a “suit” of some kind, you have lightweight layers. And secondly, it’s likely that you’re going to want to take the blazer off as soon as the ceremony portion of the wedding is over, so it’s imperative that you have something real cute on underneath. So I say, focus on that portion of the outfit above all else. And in the event that you can’t find anything that you’re 100 percent thrilled with, remember that you can always cover up a less than thrilling dress with some fun statement jewelry and bold shoes, and hey, it’s only one day out of your life.
Click to see some recommendations after the jump.
Keep reading »
Last night, my husband (!) Patrick and I were having Hawaiian martinis at Roy’s Waikoloa Bar & Grill (which is to Hawaii the way Chili’s is to Texas) when he asked me, Was it all worth it? Was all the stress and the arguing and the pressure worth it, to have a wedding instead of sneaking down to the courthouse or eloping to Las Vegas?
I had my answer ready, because I’d been thinking on it since we drove back to our hotel in a pick-up truck covered in dicks on Saturday night. My answer was: yes. All of the bullshit and the pressure and the stress was completely worth the experience of being married in front of all of our closest family and friends. Keep reading »
Congratulations, you’re engaged! But approximately 10 seconds after the ring has been placed on your finger, the interrogation from family, friends and coworkers begins: Have you found a dress? Religious or non-religious? How many bridesmaids? Where’s the bachelorette party? How about the honeymoon? How many people are you inviting?
And the biggest one of all: So, have you set a date?
The answer to that question is “No, not yet!” in the new romantic comedy “The Five-Year Engagement.” Tom and Violet, played by Jason Segel and Emily Blunt, find their engagement extended … and extended … and extended after they relocate to Michigan for Violet’s job. But why are long engagements so frowned upon anyway? There are plenty of perfectly good reasons for not rushing to the altar. Here are 10 off the top of our heads… Keep reading »