Tag Archives: wedding night

Hitched: Don’t Have Sex On Your Wedding Night

On Bridal Underwear
Take a peek into the strange world of wedding day underpants. Read More »

I remember climbing into Patrick’s pick-up truck in a fog of glittering sparklers. I remember noting that there was a giant penis shoe-polished on to the passenger side window. I remember taking an Instagram of us driving the few blocks back to our hotel. I remember being very excited about getting my shoes off.

And I remember being so, so exhausted. After our wedding, as soon as we got back to the hotel, I put on my tent-iest, most shapeless dress and some comfy Toms, curled up on the couch and said an enthusiastic “Yes!” to my favorite question, which is: Do you want a beer?

We’d stocked up the suite’s fridge with beverages and invited anyone who wanted to after-party with us to stop by post-reception. In the weeks before the wedding, I thought we might have something of a post-wedding rager with all our out-of-town friends and really get to sit down and hang out and talk, the way you really can’t do at a wedding reception.

I was wrong. I was the tiredest, sleepiest person who had just made a lifetime commitment to the man of her dreams ever. I really wanted to see all my old (and new!) friends. I really wanted to hear all about how the second floor of our hotel appeared to be hosting an extremely snazzy dance party. But mainly, I wanted to go to sleep. Keep reading »

How Did You Spend Your Wedding Night?

If you’re newly married, like I am, New York Magazine has a question for you. While they couldn’t care less about the “amazing D.J. who complied with your drunken friend’s repeated requests for Journey” or any other detail about your wedding day, they are interested in your wedding night. Specifically, they want to know if you got busy with your new spouse. Replies will be published (anonymously, of course) in their winter “Weddings” issue. For the record, after an intense week and a very emotionally-heightened day, I passed out fully clothed in a drunken stupor sometime between 2 and 3 a.m. on my wedding night. There were, however, several free hours between our lunch reception and the after-party at our apartment, and when someone asked how we were going to fill the time, I replied, “Consummate and decorate,” and that’s exactly what we did. [via NY Mag] Keep reading »

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