Andrea is taking a much needed week off from her Hitched column this week, after spending the last few days reporting live from the Texas State Legislature as they attempted to rid the state of nearly all its clinics that provide abortions. (Thanks to Senator Wendy Davis and the rest of the “feminist army,” they failed.) So this week, I’m rerunning one of Andrea’s first Hitched columns, originally published on November 2, 2011.
Wedding dress shopping. Here’s what happens to me: I walk into a bridal salon and tell the nice maternal saleswoman that I want a tea-length gown with no flowery accents. I am ushered into a dressing room where I am told that they have one tea length gown, it is covered in flowers, and did I want to try on, say, this $1,500 satin gown with a 14-foot train? For funsies? Repeat nine times. Nine. Nine.
“This is your one chance to be a princess!” one saleswoman told me. When I explained to her that my “princess” vision actually, like, seriously really did include a tea-length dress and she was just going to have to see if she could manage to wrap her mind around that, this total stranger looked at me like I had just shot her kitten point-blank in the face in the middle of the dress shop.
So, I went to the custom dressmaker. I told her what I wanted. She said she could totally do that, but she wouldn’t start the dress until next year, even though we’re getting married in April. Why?
“So you have time to get your weight where you want it.” Keep reading »
After our wedding, when my husband and I finally got around to opening our gifts and noting who gave what for our thank you cards, we became concerned that a bunch of our wedding gifts might have been stolen. About a third of the 150 guests who attended our wedding did not appear to have given a gift — that seemed a little odd. However, I was aware that wedding etiquette says that you have up to a year after a wedding to give a gift, so I didn’t put too much worry into it. After our wedding, a number of friends and family members contacted us with questions like, “Where are you registered?” and “What is your mailing address?” I answered all their inquiries, but strangely never received gifts of any sort from any of the people who asked. Keep reading »
Don’t fool yourself, if someone asks you to make a speech at their wedding, it’s important … that you don’t bomb. I know this from experience as I had to make a speech at my brother’s rehearsal dinner this past year. Luckily, it went off with out a hitch. But we’ve all been to those weddings where someone bungled the speech. You do not want to be that person. I was at one wedding where the maid of honor, drunk off bubbly, ran through a list of the most embarrassing guys the bride had dated. At another, a groomsmen had nothing planned and rambled on and on for at least 30 minutes. Or at least it seemed that way. Not okay! Successful wedding speeches, while different, all have certain elements in common. And even though we all have varying degrees of comfort with public speaking, there are some tricks that will make your speech awesome no matter what. After the jump, some tips for making yours a hit.
Keep reading »
You have finally made the decision to get married. All the details of the wedding can be mind boggling and drive you to distraction. You may start to wonder what made you decide to get married in the first place. But then you remember that you are about to start one of the most important chapters of your life with the person you love and you get to celebrate it with a wonderful honeymoon. Instead of heading to a well-known resort or beach, you are going to do it your way and vary from the norm. Here are five cool honeymoon destinations that prove you don’t have to go to the beach. Keep reading »
My good friend Nick is getting hitched in September and I’m already scoping out which one of his groomsman I am going to try to bang. He posted their photos on his wedding website, you see.
However, there is always the possibility all of them will have girlfriends/have their own weddings by then, so my Plan B is former college roommates and co-workers. Plan C is minor, outlying relatives — although that’s more like an “in case of emergency break glass” scenario. Yup, my plan of attack is all prepared. I just don’t, you know, have my dress yet.
Befuddled about who it’s OK to schtup when you’re a single wedding guest and who is as off-limits as that hot intern from Accounts Payable? Why, then you need this handy dandy guide on who to sleep with at a wedding. Keep reading »
Wedding traditions have changed a lot over the years, and many of the hard and fast dos and don’ts of wedding style have fallen by the wayside. It’s great that brides, grooms, and guests have more freedom over what they wear these days, but in a way, all these updated rules and non-rules have also made things more confusing. After the jump, we answer all your pressing questions about cleavage, pantyhose, the definition of “black tie,” and what color shoes to pair with those pesky navy blue bridesmaid dresses… Keep reading »
I didn’t know how bad I was at being a wedding guest until I had my own wedding. I was bad about gifts and good about stiffing bartenders. Worst of all, I was terrible about crying on the dance floor when the DJ played “All The Single Ladies” because I was fresh off a breakup.
Don’t make these mistakes, friends! We’re in the midst of summer wedding season and you don’t want to just get in the hang of things after all ten thousand of your closest friends have tied the knot by September. That’s why I’m here to help you learn from my nuptial mishaps. Keep reading »
It’s wedding season, and whatever. While everyone else is off pledging eternal devotion, or crying whilst watching others do so, I embrace the opportunity to (pointlessly) browse the prettiest, most ornate wedding dresses money can buy, waxing quixotic for the day a Pinault puts a ring on my finger — or even just knocks me up! (Right, Linda?) Hell, I’d even take a Sarkozy. Lest I go on too long and reveal too much about my
gold-digging ways desire for a comfortable lifestyle, check out these 15 wedding dresses vastly beyond my means. For now.
I heard about Pinterest at a wedding reception last year and within 24 hours, I was hooked. I had to pin everything: I grabbed every vegan recipe, organizing tip, cute outfit, inspirational quote, and makeup tutorial I could get my freshly ombre-manicured fingers on. Then, a few months later, I got engaged and suddenly it was time to add a new board.
As a proud member of the one percent of Pinterest users who didn’t already have a Dream Wedding board, I started a For Real Wedding board and began to explore the site’s “Weddings and Events” category. Within five minutes, it became apparent to me that I would need to locate a rustic barn surrounded by an endless field of wildflowers. According to Pinterest, that seems to be the only place people are getting married these days. Keep reading »