A few weeks ago I turned to my guy and asked, “When you have to pee, can you feel it in your penis?” He raised his eyebrows at me and said, “No, Jess, I feel it in my bladder, like every other human being.” Well, excuse me for not knowing much about male anatomy. Am I right, ladies? Guy’s bodies are a little confusing sometimes—and we can sure as hell think of some things men don’t know about women’s bodies: Keep reading »
Tag Archives: waxing
When did guys start waxing their chests? All I have to say about that is: It’s got to stop. If we wanted you to look like us, we’d date us. We want guys to look like guys, no matter how hirsute that makes you. That’s why we love you. Because you are what we are not. True story: I think the first time I saw some guy’s chest hair waxed into a distinct shape was about seven years ago. I was on the set of an adult movie. The guy was Ron Jeremy. And his chest hair had been waxed into the shape of … a heart. It was both totally horrifying and vaguely endearing. Keep reading »
For all of us with sensitive skin, there’s nothing scarier than shaving armpits and bikini lines. Nothing makes us more self-conscious than red bumps and ingrown hairs all over. But this post-shave soother is excellent at keeping irritations at bay. It soothes skin while it exfoliates and releases ingrown hairs from underneath the skin’s surface. It comes in an awesome little bottle and smells delightful. No yucky odors, no burning sensations — just smoothing, cooling goodness. Finally, you’ll be able to sport that itty-bitty, teeny-weeny bikini without examining your crotch all day. [$25, Sephora] Keep reading »
Don’t get me wrong. I like a hirsute fellow as much as the next girl, but it could be that this advertisement waxed into some dude’s back hair goes a little too far. Far enough to give me a hairball. Copyranter calls it “diametrically un-hot,” and he’s got a point there. Body hair removal company Parissa thought it would be clever to have this poor, furry soul wander up and down a beach looking like this, handing out free samples of Parissa product. People liked it, says one report, and some chicks even asked to have their photo taken with the Hairy Backed One. But does it make me want to buy Parissa? Eh, not really. A fur coat, maybe. [Copyranter] Keep reading »
Back in March, the State of New Jersey actually tried to ban Brazilian waxes after two women got infections from unsanitary salons. In neighboring New York City, one woman was even hospitalized for 15 days after she got a bad infection from going bald at a dirty spa. The poor gal almost lost her leg from cellulitis. But in the face of those cases, an industry that thrives on hairy situations wasn’t just going to hide in the bush! As we ladies know, all salons aren’t created equal, some are just nasty. That’s no reason to penalize the clean peeps who are fighting the good fight against body hair, especially during bikini season. So, luckily for those visiting the Jersey shore beaches this summer, the ban did not stand! Or as spa proprietress, Linda Orsuto, said: “The government has been picking our pockets for so long, it was like: ‘Just stay out of our pants, will you?’” Ha! Well, it’s good to have a sense of humor about the man trying to keep you down, but when it comes to our downtown, you gotta be smart. Here’s what you need to know if you’re going to get a bikini wax. Keep reading »
It’s beach season again. We’ve already helped you with the lazy girl’s guide to getting a bikini body, but no matter what shape you’re in, no bathing suit will look good if you’ve got a forest growing on your nether regions. A popular solution: the bikini wax, more specifically the Brazilian. Being a mix of Cuban and Italian, I know the importance of the not-so-enjoyable hair removal treatment, but was shocked to learn taking it all off could turn my beach trip into a trip to the hospital. Women who wax down under are susceptible to cellulitis, a potentially life-threatening bacterial infection. Keep reading »
Nose hair trimmers aren’t doing it for you? You poor beast! Thankfully, a good nose waxing can pare back your probiscus and keep your sense of smell intact. The Daily Mail sent a daring fashion writer to sniff out the story. While she lay back, a “beauty therapist” scooped some “goo” out of “what looks like a vat of hot bubble gum” and proceeded to stuff it up the writer’s nostril and let it sit for 30 seconds. And then … riiiiiip.
Does it hurt? You betcha. Nostril waxing “smarts for a second or two”—but the real trauma appeared to come from seeing all those recently-liberated nose hairs on the just-pulled wax. “Porcupine” is the word she used. The author admits nose hairs serve a biological purpose. Even if they’re long and ugly, nostril fuzz keeps dust, dirt, and other critters out so you can breathe easy. But a nose waxing doesn’t go so deep as to remove enough hairs that it could put your throat or lungs at risk.
Damn, it looks like ALL the guys are getting waxed these days. But while John Mayer prefers to wax his short and curlies, Ashton’s got to rip up the shag carpet so his chest is as smooth as that of his stunt double on the set of his new movie. He vows to inspect his stunt people’s body hair more closely from now on…
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If you live in Jersey and want to get a Brazilian wax in preparation for bikini weather (or a big date), you might soon have to travel to another state to get your hair down there removed. If a proposal is passed by the New Jersey Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling, genital waxing would become explicitly illegal there. Currently, statutes allow for waxing of the face, neck, arms, legs, and abdomen, and officials say that genital waxing has therefore always been illegal but wasn’t spelled out. If full bikini waxes get banned, we suspect the mob will set up a black market for women who insist on going bare. Too bad Tony Soprano isn’t around anymore, because he would take care of the situation — we can’t imagine him standing for Carmela or Gloria going around ungroomed. [Philly.com] Keep reading »
You know how it goes: at first you’re mortified to fart around your man and nine months later you guys are chatting it up while you’re on the toilet and he’s in the shower.
But there’s one area of our lives that most women WON’T share with even their hubbies — and that’s our embarrassing beauty rituals that occur behind a locked bathroom door. Are we afraid our boo wouldn’t think we’re sexy if he knew Mother Nature intended us to have a tiny little Steve Buscemi ‘stache? Or is it not the object-of-the-beauty-ritual we are ashamed of, but rather, the act of intimate-parts primping in front of a lover? Keep reading »