On last night’s episode of “Watch What Happens Live,” during the segment in which Andy Cohen’s celeb guest demonstrates their special talent, Whoopi Goldberg showed Andy and actress Zoe Saldana how to roll a joint. You know, of oregano. Or tobacco. Pick your poison! Anyway, Whoopi was probably feeling the pressure of a time limit because her doobie broke midway through. Rolling a tight, fat joint means taking your time, man. A producer signaling to go to commercial would totally harsh my mellow too.
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I am so mad at Andy Cohen for not inviting me to be inside this Jessica Walter and Elisabeth Moss sandwich. “Arrested Development”? “Mad Men”? Booze? LIFE. Any challenges Elisabeth to a game of Plead The Fifth and, class act that she is, she had nothing to say about her costar’s famously well-endowed penis. I was kinda hoping she would plead the fifth, so she could use Jessica’s favorite Lucille Bluth line, “I don’t understand the question and I won’t respond to it.” [Bravo TV]
Saucy little minx Meryl Streep hit up “Watch What Happens Live” for a rousing game of Shun, Shag or Marry with her ex-costars. The options were Robert Redford, Jack Nicholson and Dustin Hoffman. Personally I would have chosen Redford to shag and that offer will remain open until he’s dead. [Bravo TV]
Andy Cohen: [A commenter] wants to know what you think about the comparisons people have made between you and Adele.
Beth Ditto: I think we’re both fat.
– That’s the ineffable Beth Ditto, lead singer of the band Gossip, on Thursday night’s “Watch What Happens Live.” Ms. Ditto was so friggin’ charming as she fielded questions from Andy Cohen and shot the shit with him and Adam Lambert (who’s obviously had tons more media training and was way more bo-ring to watch). Beth, I would watch a whole cable access channel devoted primarily to you and your musings and your amazing fashions. And she’s right, there’s not really much the same about Beth and Adele; Beth seems way more fun at a party.
- Bravo’s “Watch What Happens Live” tried so hard to get Lil’ Kim to talk trash about Nicki Minaj. And she valiantly succeeds in not giving in until this snipe: “If you have to make a song called ‘Stupid Hoe’ then you must be a stupid hoe.” Come on, Lil’ Kim! Can we not catfight? Please? Stop egging Kim on, Andy Cohen! [Dlisted]
- Amanda Knox has sold her memoir to Harper Collins for $4 million. [New York Times]
- Cissy Houston — Whitney’s mom — wants Bobby Brown to eff the hell off and keep his paws off his ex-wife/her daughter’s estate. [PopCrush]
- Guess which celeb, at age 12, lost the lead role in “The Parent Trap” to Lindsay Lohan? No hard feelings, though. [Celebuzz]
- Ten things you probably didn’t know about “The Simpsons.” [The FW]
- Job interview tips from movies (which may or may not actually work). [Modern Man]
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Surprise! Bravo’s barely publicized “Watch What Happens: Live” premieres tonight. Since you probably haven’t heard about it, let me fill you in. Andy Cohen, Bravo’s Senior Vice President of Production and Programming—a.k.a, the guy who hosts all of the channel’s reunion shows—takes the reigns Thursdays at midnight for a live run down of his favorite weekly moments in pop culture. The half-hour show will include “Bravolebrities” and A-list guests, claims Bravo’s website. Honestly, this show sounds a lot like “The Soup” or “Best Week Ever,” only with our Bravo faves like Danielle Staub.