I was about to pack it up and call it a day when I saw that Walmart was selling the work of graffiti artist Banksy on their website starting at the low price of $25 — the most ironic being the work entitled “Destroy Capitalism.” Walmart’s in-house art expert (?) speculated that Banksy would “probably appreciate the irony of a monstrous corporation appropriating his anti-consumerist art and selling it at a markup without giving him any money — that’s pretty punk rock.” Eh, maybe not. Nothing about Walmart — particularly its treatment of their employees — is what we’d call “punk rock.” Keep reading »
Meet Beth Davis of Tulsa, Oklahoma. She ran by Walmart to run and errand and stopped first in the women’s restroom. There should found a man, standing in front of the mirror partially clothed, jerking off. So Davis whipped out her cameraphone and started filming him as he tried to leave the store, while she yelled for someone to stop the man because he’d been masturbating But Walmart being Walmart, did nothing. In fact, as Davis told KJRH News, only one person — a vendor — tried to stop the man but was told by an employee not to touch him. Keep reading »
If you’re going to get physically abused in a Walmart parking lot, then you are shit out of luck! The company fired employee Kristopher Oswald, 30, after he intervened when he saw a man “grabbing” a woman outside their Hartland Township, Michigan store on Sunday morning. Keep reading »
In what was potentially an all time low for Walmart shoppers, one man decided that the best way to tell a woman that she was attractive was to throw bodily fluids at her. A Delaware police report obtained by The Smoking Gun states that Frank J. Short first walked past the victim and said, “Excuse me.” The 20-year-old victim “suddenly felt something wet on her buttocks, thigh, and leg.” At first she figured he had sneezed or coughed on her, but she soon found a “gooey glob” of something below her knee. This is what led her to believe that the fluid may have been semen. Ewww, please, no. Keep reading »
According to a study published in Psychology Today, the place we should all be going to find the love of our lives is Walmart. The study, which polled the 100 most recent Craigslist “Missed Connections” in 15 states, found that people in Texas, Florida, Ohio, Montana and North Carolina named Walmart most frequently as the place where they had fallen in love at first sight.
If shopping at Walmart isn’t really your vibe because you don’t support the company’s politics, other popular “Missed Connection” spots included McDonald’s, the grocery store, bars, the gym and for the folks of NYC, the subway. So basically, this very important study concludes: You can meet people if you go out in public!
I’m eager to make a snarky joke about how love at first site doesn’t exist, and “Missed Connections” are a form of fantasy, however, I basically fell in love at first sight on the subway. So, I’m forced to swallow my own cynicism. But I still won’t shop at Walmart. [CNN]
Dear Timothy Carr,
A lot of people drive drunk, but it takes a special kind of man (usually from Florida) to drive drunk inside. According to a report from Brooksville, Florida, you helped yourself to a cold one while inside a mega Walmart and were then caught driving your motorized cart erratically.
“The defendant did enter Walmart and select two packages of Daily Daiquiri and proceed to drink them in the store,” said the official police report. “The defendant was driving a Walmart owned electric cart. While driving the cart, the defendant knocked several items off the shelves causing damage to the items.”
Daiquiris? Well, you’re clearly rather cavalier when it comes to calorie counting.